For One More Day

Did you watch this movie on TV last night? I did. I read the book last month. Incredible book. The movie was good, but as usual did not do the book justice. Are movies ever better than the books they are based on? In my opinion, no. Anyway, I wanted to share my favorite part of the book.

..."I also believe that parents, if they love you, will hold you up safely, above swirling waters, and sometimes that means you'll never know what they endured, and you may treat them unkindly, in a way you otherwise wouldn't."

"But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begin."

I love the last sentence the most, both as a mother myself and as a daughter. I truly believe that becoming a parent greatly changes your view of your own parents. From the moment I laid eyes on Alex and felt that incredible rush of unconditional love, I knew that my life was not just my own, anymore, that I would do anything for him. That is when I realized that two other people in this world felt this way about me - my parents. After having Jenna, I realized that there are no favorites, every child is loved and cherished. It made sense to me, to see sadness in their eyes when I was sad; to see the pride and happiness in their faces when I succeeded and was happy. And it is a good feeling to know that my parents are always there for me. So, in the spirit of the movie and book, I say to my mom and dad, thank you for everything you have done for me. You have raised me to be happy and successful in everything I have set out to do in life. I would not change a thing; every moment I have spent on this earth has led me to where I am today, and that is a good place, a place where I want to be. I love you both very much!!

P.S. The van is making a funny sound - is my lemon clause still good? JUST KIDDING!!!

15 days to Christmas

And I am finally posting these Halloween pictures!! I have to say to my brother, Gary, I am soo sorry it has taken me forever to post these!! You see, I told him a couple of days before Halloween that I would post the one of the kids with R2D2. And, well, I didn't. So, here it is. My brother made this R2D2 out of a pumpkin and then packaged it up and sent it to the kids. They LOVED it! My friend said it should have been submitted into some kind of contest - it looked that good! Now, I am sad to say, it is a rotting waste in our compost pile. I won't take a picture of that; it is a sad site. Nevertheless, Halloween went well. As you can see by the pictures, Jenna stayed true to her pirate self. There were no more battles over her costume. The kids got tons of candy and most was sent to work with Daddy. But I won't go into too many details as Halloween is long over. I just wanted to get this pictures posted before my brother disowned me!!

I hate Halloween

OK, for the longest time I have LOVED the season of fall - the leaves changing color, the cooler weather, the wonderful fall festivals, pumpkins, and Halloween. Halloween has always been one of our favorite holidays. I don't know why, really, it is just a great holiday. That is, until you have kids. Now, I know that like Christmas, Halloween should only get better once you have kids. After all, you can go trick-or-treating again and you get the chance to really get into costumes again. Ah, the costumes. Today, that is why I hate Halloween. Like my crazy attempts to make my kid's birthday cake, I like to also make their Halloween costumes. So, I always start asking way in advance. Last year Alex wanted to be a Jedi Knight. He saw a costume he liked on-line, so I broke down and bought one. This year, Alex said he wanted to be a Jedi Knight again. No problem, saves me time and money. Jenna said she wanted to be a zebra. Great I thought, it was Alex's old costume from two years ago that my mom and I worked very long on. What an easy Halloween for me!! Yay!! Here comes the bubble burst, two weeks ago, Jenna started to say that she wanted to be a ghost for Halloween so that she could scare people. I didn't mention that a three-year old dressed up as a ghost was only going to be seen as cute and not scary. I kept on her and she was persistent about the ghost. So, Tuesday night Jenna and I set out to the store to buy our ghost making supplies. Wednesday night we started to make the costume - which, to say the least, was HORRIBLE!!! She wouldn't hold still, I cut the hole for her face too big, and everything ended in chaos with lots of yelling and tears and hostility. Jenna ended up saying she didn't want to be a ghost anymore. Feeling like a failure of a mother for fighting with my three-year old and in the process killing her dream of being a ghost, I sent Joe out to the store to buy another sheet. I then stayed up very late trying my best to get this costume done in time for the Halloween party at the library today. (Once again, I owe it all to Joe - as usual, he is the calm in the middle of a storm and worked so patiently with me to get it done. I love you, hon!!) So, I wake up this morning feeling a bit better about myself, feeling a bit more like an acceptable mom, anticipating the beaming smile on Jenna's face when she sees that I have made this great costume - only to descend back into chaos. All I had to do was cut the bottom for an appropriate length. All Jenna had to do was put the costume on and hold still for just a bit while I cut the bottom. But she went right into tantrum mode and the fighting started all over again!! Here I was, yelling at my three-year old about how late I stayed up working on this and couldn't she at least give it a try. Does she really care how late I stayed up? No. Is she going to give it a try if she doesn't like it? No. She's three. So, after her storming off and me gathering myself, we had a heart-to-heart and lots of hugs and kisses. And then we only had 30 minutes to come up with a new costume for story time. (Note: the zebra costume was not an option as part of it was dismantled to become part of the ghost costume, which is now lying in a crumpled pile in the corner of our unused room.) Now, Jenna and Alex have lots of dress up clothes, so we had things to fall back on. Jenna has lots of princess dresses, which look beautiful on the hanger because that is where they always are. But the hopeful mom-of-a-little-girl in me thought, well we just got back from Disney, so maybe, just maybe she will want to dress up as a princess. NO. At first she wanted to be Darth Vader. Jenna, the cape is too long and I don't have time to hem it up. Then, she wanted to be a solider. Jenna, all there is to that is a vest and a helmet, how about something else. Finally, she decided on a pirate. She went all out, donning the sword, eye patch, and hat. And, you know what, she was a great looking pirate. She loved it and, most importantly, she had fun. To be honest, so did I. So, I guess I don't really hate Halloween. Well, not until Saturday when she has to dress up again for a party at our friends. Hmm, wonder if she will be a pirate again, or if our battles over a costume will start all over?

Where Dreams Come True

We embarked on our first family vacation on September 20th of this year and we went to the most magical place in the country...Disney World!!! It was a wonderful trip, full of very happy memories. If you ask Alex what his favorite part of the trip was, he would say riding the Buzz Lightyear ride at Magic Kingdom. For Jenna, it was all about the Dumbo ride!! Both kids really enjoyed the parades. I loved watching their faces light up with excitement as they yelled "Look, look, there's (fill in the character)!" And I love how Alex sees the beauty in the elements of the parade. "Mom, look. Isn't that butterfly so pretty?" I loved watching Jenna's eyes widen and her smile get bigger as she met Pluto for the first time. The big hug she gave him and then, the absolute pure delight on her face as Pluto held her Dolly for a picture. (One of her wishes was for a princess to hold her Dolly, but she settled for Pluto). Rounding the corner at MGM to find a huge AT AT staring at us was magical as Jenna screamed "ALEX, ALEX, do you see that!! Do you see what is there?" But Alex didn't hear her because he was already running ahead to get a better look!! And my heart was bursting when Alex came face to face with Darth Vader. I saw the hesitation in his eyes, felt it in his body, but it was Darth Vader after all. He walked up, handed his clipboard over for an autograph, and bravely posed for a picture, then high tailed it out of there! It was good to expose them to new things, also, like live shows. In general, I think they liked them and it is something I will continue to do with them. We also really liked all the different dining we did. Alex's favorite restaurant was the Sci-Fi Dine-In (pictured at top). It was certainly different...we sat in a car and watched movie clips of old "B" sci-fi movies made in the 50's. It was unique and entertaining. We did so much on this trip - flew in an airplane for the first time, rode buses, boats, and monorails. We stayed up late, ate too many desserts, bought way to many weapons (2 storm trooper blasters, 2 small Buzz Lightyear blasters, 2 pirate swords, 1 large Buzz Lightyear blaster, and 1 Buzz Lightyear mechanical arm grabber). It was a good first vacation, yes, we had tears, tantrums, meltdowns, but for all the bad, there are very good memories. It is not a vacation we will take again next year, but we will go back. Alex wasn't quite ready for all of it. He is scared to try new things and sat out a lot of the rides. Hopefully, next time he will be more willing to venture out. Jenna, our fearless one, would have gone on everything if she were tall enough. We need to give her a few years to grow and then watch out, an adrenaline junky she will become!! Now, it's time to look over our 900 + pictures, yes, that is correct 900, and pick out the best for our scrapbook. Funny thing is, Joe says we should have taken more pictures!!!! I've got my work cut out for me, but am itching to get it started. I'll post more pictures as I weed through them all!

Finally, a ballerina!!

Yesterday was a big day for Jenna, too. She started her first ballet class. And in all the excitement and craziness of Alex's first day of school, I neglected to snap a picture of Jenna all decked out in her ballet attire - bad, bad mommy!! She looked so cute in her pink leotard and pink tutu; her white capri leggings and her little pink ballet shoes. A picture that is etched in my mind and heart at least. For the most part, Jenna had a good time and participated in class. She did her stretches (nose to toes, butterfly knees, tall ballerina arms) and she did her twirls and leaps and rolls, forwards and backwards. She wasn't feeling too well, and towards the end of class her attention span just went out the door and so did Jenna, literally!! After a bit of coaxing, Jenna came back into the class to get her ballerina stamp. Her teacher, Mrs. Grace, is excellent with the kids and Jenna really likes her. It's going to be a good class!

Back to School

Yesterday was Alex's first day at his new preschool. Although he doesn't look too happy in the picture taken outside of his school, he had a GREAT time! Alex's job was line leader and he got to lead the kids out to the play ground. He said it was a cool job. He said he played with everything, but forgot to do the art project (so typical of Alex). He said the computer at his school is better than the computer at home (I didn't point out that the one at school doesn't have his Jedi games on it). He said he likes his new school better than his old school (because it has a computer). He ate a granola bar and applesauce for snack. They had juice boxes, a big hit with Alex. By the end of his day, he was a sweaty mess of a boy with a huge smile on his face, wanting to know when his next day of school was. It was a good day.

This year was easier for me, as we have one year of pre-school under our belt. This year I was not up all night worrying about all the things that could go wrong. This year I did not fear that he would hate school. This year I did not worry about him missing me and being miserable. This year I did not cry when I walked out the door. I do confess, I did worry about Alex not knowing any of the kids. At his old school, he had three life-long friends in his class. I was afraid he wouldn't have anyone to play with. I was afraid of him hanging out by himself. But when I pulled up, I saw him running around with a bunch of the boys in his class, laughing and having so much fun. I realized that I view so much of his life through adult eyes, through my eyes. I forget how quickly kids adapt to change and how easy it is for them to make friends. And I am so glad of that and so proud of Alex for making the best of it. In fact, the first thing he asked me was "when do I get to go to school where I go back in the afternoon?" I was thrown off by his question and didn't understand. Then through more conversation with him I realized Alex was asking when he gets to go to school all day like some of his friends. I told him next year, when he is six and goes to big school. He was disappointed and I was jarred by the thought that the days are approaching when he will begin to build his own life, outside of our family. When his friends will take a bigger role in his life. When I won't know what he is doing every minute of every hour of every day. When I take yet another step to letting him go.

Jenna's gifts

Auntie Mary in Scotland didn't forget Jenna. Here is Jenna modeling her wonderful presents. My aunt knitted Jenna another beautiful cardigan. I cherish every cardigan Mary has knitted for the kids. Every one of them have received numerous compliments, starting with the first ones she knitted for Alex when he was just a baby. They are items of clothing I will hold onto and, hopefully, one day see my grandchildren in - they are that special to me!! And what about this white outfit? It is gorgeous! Joe and I are in love with it and how Jenna just radiates in it!! You have outdone yourself again, Auntie Mary, and we love you for it!! Thank you!!

Scottish Warrior

Alex received his first traditional Scottish outfit for his birthday from his Great Aunt Mary. When Alex opened his package his first response was that of any typical American male - "It's a skirt." He refused to try it on, but when I told him it was the uniform of a Scottish soldier, he slowly warmed up. When I told him he could pose with a sword, he agreed. He surprised me by really having a great time dressed up. He ran to Jenna and proudly showed her his Scottish clothes. He cracked me up by saying the waist pouch was where the soldiers probably kept their bombs. Regardless, I think Alex looks absolutely handsome and so grown-up. Thanks Auntie Mary in Scotland (as she is referred to by the kids)!!

Latest Stats

Please forgive my absence from the blogging world, but sometimes life gets in the way. Anyway, the kids had their yearly check-up and they are both wonderfully healthy!! Alex tips the scales at 46lbs and is 44 inches tall. That puts him in the 80th % for weight and 75th% for height, quite the well-rounded boy he is!! Jenna weighs 32lbs and is 37 1/4 inches tall. She is in the 75th% for both height and weight. We were able to avoid shots for Alex this year since he is not entering kindergarten. We will tackle those next year. One of my detailed conversations with the doctor regarded Jenna. What was all that mumble jumble I posted previously about drawing upon veteran motherhood experience regarding potty training? Well, I guess that would work if Jenna was exactly like Alex. But she is not. Really not in anyway. They have always been like night and day. When I was potty training Alex, he pooped like a champ in the potty and caught onto that very quickly. It was his peeing that tripped him up every time and I cannot even begin to count how many accidents in that department he had. So, what kind of curve does Jenna throw me? She pees like a champ. She has no problem getting to the potty in time if she has to pee. When it comes to pooping - well, Jenna has introduced us to the world of stool withholding. She is so terrified of pooping she will not poop in the potty and for a while, refused to poop in a diaper. I had to feed her jello with Metamucil in it to get her to poop. Now, she is finally getting better and no longer holds it. But she absolutely will not poop in the potty. She asks for a diaper, then goes into a room by herself, closes the door and does her business. I am hoping this will pass before we go to Disney, but it looks really bleak. She tells me "When I'm 5, I'll poop in the potty." I do hope it is way before then!!

Big Girl Jenna

So for about a month now I have been telling Jenna that they just do not make diapers for 3 year olds. Three year olds are supposed to pee and poop in the potty. Turning 3 makes you a big girl and you get to wear big girl underwear. Jenna caught on to this really well and would tell you "I pee and poop in the potty when I 3 in July." Well, that July day came and instead of a fight, she has taken to it with great promise. I wasn't going to push it on her birthday since we were at the water park, but she didn't want to wear a swim diaper, so with that her potty training began!! She did super at the water park - peed in the potty twice. Did great the rest of the day, too. No accidents. The next day, well, it wasn't perfect, but I never thought it would be. She had one major accident and two minor ones (starting peeing but was able to stop herself to get to the potty). Our biggest hurdle was overcome that night, however, when she pooped in the potty. We all clapped and cheered and she had to go and get Daddy and Alex and show them. The pride in her eyes was priceless!! Today, it's going well. One accident but two successes and one long walk dry! I'm glad I waited. I'm glad not to have the battles I had with Alex and all the starts and stops and ok, we will try again in a few weeks. It is the wisdom gained as a seasoned parent and the benefits the second child inherits. And though I was fine with Alex turning 5, it is Jenna growing up, or maybe the combination of both, really, that is tough. As Joe said to them the other night, "What, Alex your riding a bike now and Jenna's peeing in the potty. Don't grow up too fast, now!" Like I have always said, it's just in the blink of an eye.

Riding a Bike

Joe and I bought Alex his first "big" bike for his birthday and Alex LOVES it! We just wrapped it in the box so that Joe and Alex could assemble the bike together. Right after it was finished, they headed out the door to try it out. Alex fell once, but said he was fine. Today, I took the kids for a walk (yes, even though it is 94* and 100% humidity!). Alex rode like a champ! He, again, fell twice. But after each fall, he just got right back up, jumped back on the bike and took off again. I was so proud of his behaviour because that reaction is so un-Alex. Alex is one to storm off and give up if things don't go his way. I guess he really is growing up. The age of 5 really makes it seem like he truly is a boy now. He is not a baby, not a toddler, not a preschooler, but a kid, a child, a big boy. And you know what, I am OK with that. I thought I would have a hard time with this birthday, but it was wonderful and I truly enjoy watching my baby grow up!

Happy Birthday Alex and Jenna!!

This past weekend we celebrated Alex's 5th birthday and Jenna's 3rd birthday. We wanted to do something different this year. So instead of just having family over for a BBQ, we went bowling!! I think it was a hit! The kids really like bowling and it is something everyone can have fun doing. The party was on the 14th. We had about 17 family members in attendance and just about everyone bowled. I made special t-shirts for Alex and Jenna for the party and they loved them. I also made a bowling lane cake, and though it did not look anything like the picture I followed, it was still a fun cake. The kid's thought it was the best. And for the first time, I did not get upset about not having the "perfect" cake. Yes, it really did look homemade, it was lopsided and had way too much frosting to hide the cake crumbs. But while I was decorating the cake, I just thought, I am not a professional cake decorator. I did not go to culinary school. I am just a mom showing my kids how much I love them by taking the time out, and most importantly, trying to make something special for them, to show them how very much they mean to me. For me, it's not about spending the most money to get the fanciest thing, it's about showing my love from my heart. This year, with each mistake, rather than bursting into tears, as I have in the past, I just laughed and I had fun with it - that's what it is all about!!

On the kid's actual birthday I took them to the water park for the day. We met up with some friends and had a great day of water fun. Their favorite thing to do, by far, was the kiddie water slides. I think they could have done that all day!! I loved watching them come around the corner and say "Hi Mom!" Alex can come down by himself, but Jenna needs me to catch her at the bottom or else she'll go under. We finished off our water park adventure with a snow cone and then headed home. Once Joe got home from work we headed off to one of the kids favorite restaurants - IHOP - for a funny face pancake dinner. We all had a great time! Once again, it was like Christmas in July and I am still trying to figure out where to put all the new toys they got! Overall, I think this was one of the happiest birthdays yet!

Summer Fun

Long time no blog!! It's because we have been having too much fun this summer! It is hard to believe that it is July already, and only 11 days until the Alex and Jenna's birthday...Yikes!! Back in January Alex went to a birthday party at the bowling alley and had a blast. He asked if he could have his birthday party at the bowling alley, too. Since it's Alex's 5th birthday, Joe and I were up for something different, something fun. But of course, we had to run this by Jenna. So, on June 22nd we all went bowling and had a great time!! We all bowled on a lane with the bumper guards - Joe and I needed all the help we could get since we haven't bowled in ages. Jenna's verdict..."Let's bowl!" She whipped Alex and I!! My little girly got two strikes in a row and ended with a score of 118. Despite the all-needed assistance of the bumper guards, I still only scored an 88. Alex finished with a score of 77 and Joe beat us all with a final of 129. So, a bowling party it is this year! The kids and I have been doing the "pool" circuit this summer. We have been to our friend's pool twice. We have been to the water park once (where I got sun burned for the first time in years...ow!!) And we have been to another friend's pool club. Each time, the kids had so much fun!! They are really into swimming and Jenna is determined to do everything by herself. So, I got her arm floaties and off she goes, with a big proud smile on her face. Alex is so cute in his goggles, that he must wear at all times, and beams with accomplishment when he puts his head underwater. We are off to yet another friend's pool next week. We have a small pool set up in the backyard that the kids love, but there are no water slides, and that has been their favorite so far! We had a nice quiet 4th of July. The kids and I went to visit my family for a few days before the holiday and made it back home for our town parade. We were asked to be the "Rochester Family" for the parade - ride on a float and throw out candy - but our kids declined because they wanted to get candy rather than give!! It was really nice and it was actually Jenna who had to hold her hands over her ears more than Alex this year. But they were both in agreement when it came to the fireworks...No Thanks!! So, we skipped them this year and just watched the Macy's Fireworks on TV. Even that didn't hold them to long. Hopefully, they will enjoy the fireworks at Disney.

Back Seat Driver

I have been put in my place, repeatedly, by my two year old back seat driver. Jenna sits on the passenger side, so she has a clear view of me. About a week ago, as I was driving, I hear "Mommy! "One hand driving get you in accident! Use two hands!" With this, she puts up both her hands in the air as if she is holding onto a steering wheel. I replied, humbly, "Oh, OK Jenna. I'm sorry." as I put my other hand on the wheel. Now, every time she sees one of my hands come off the wheel, I am scolded in some way or the other and reminded of how I am going to get in an accident. I don't know where this came from. I have observed, however, that she doesn't seem to mind asking me to get her things while I am driving, therefore, requiring me to take a hand off the wheel to locate said object and then hand said object to her. Hmm, I guess the two-hand rule applies only at certain times!

The Essentials of Alex

My man Alex. He is predictable. But his predictability changes. For as long as I can remember in Alex's life, he has always had a core group of toys that have been his favorites, that he lugs around with him everywhere. We have a house full of toys, and I really do mean that. Not one room in our house is without toys. But all of these toys could go away as long as he has his favorites. Now, these favorites change and my memory fails me on all the groups. As a new neat toy comes into the house, one of his favorites loses ranks. Currently, this is Alex's essentials:

• His animals - Fluffy, Owl, and little penguin
• Two library books - Essential Guide to Star Wars and a look and find (we always have one of each checked out at all times)
• A mini Atlas book of the U.S. - his map guide to all battles and quests
• A bag full of army "dudes" - the little plastic army soldiers
• His Star Wars lunch box full of his Star Wars figures (note: this bag has been temporarily taken away because of his mutilation of the figures - I was tired of finding little body parts all over the house. After missing for two weeks, Han Solo has just been reunited with his lower left arm. I told Alex that his toys probably liken him to Sid from Toy Story - the boy who was mean and cruel to his toys. Alex did not like that much. I hope he changes his ways.)

Three objects that float in and out of this list are his WOW card from Daddy, an American Idol play iPOD thing from McDonald's (Alex has never seen an episode of American Idol) and a gun of some sort or the other. And of course, Alex could not live without the computer. Not that he can carry it with him, but it is something he can not live without. The majority of these objects go to bed with him at quiet time during the day and at night time and they all come out with him during the day. And though it can be a pain gathering all of this things up and moving from room to room with them, I find such little boy cuteness to it all - his treasures, his most important special things in his life - how can I not love them, too?

Jenna...today

Last night as I watched Jenna pretend to be a baby hippo in the tub, then a dog after bath, and finally ending as a cat before we read books, I thought back to Alex at this age. I asked Joe if he remembered Alex getting so into "character" when pretend playing. Did he pretend to be animals to this extent, I asked. Joe couldn't remember either. And it's sad because it was only two years ago!! So, I wanted to capture these memories. I wanted to record Jenna as she is now. At one month shy of turning three, Jenna has a wonderful imagination! She has characters that she latches onto and plays through each one. And while I am thrilled to have a little girl, a girly girl she is not. Jenna's first character that she took to was a little boy in an oh-so-cheesy Casper movie named Chris. In the movie Chris is Casper's "best bud". So, when we play this, Jenna is Chris, I am Casper and Joe is "Chris' dad". After watching Little Mermaid, Jenna didn't want to be Ariel. No, she pretends she is Eric and our cat, C.C., is Eric's dog. When Jenna is Han Solo, I am Princess Leah - a role I have been playing since my own childhood playing Star Wars with my brother. And then, there are the animals. Jenna loves pretending she is Pluto the dog from Mickey Mouse. And her Thomas the Tank Engine tent is her dog house. Our cat, C.C., is one of Jenna's favorite playmates, so she often pretends she is a cat, walking along on all fours and trying to eat her food straight from her plate. She is also a wonderful baby hippo and as her mommy hippo, I have to get her back into her cage (her bed) at night. I love her creative play. I love seeing her world and being invited into it to play. Of course, anyone who really knows Jenna knows that her all time favorite thing to play is her "truckes" also known as Hot Wheel or Match Box cars. She can play endlessly with her truckes. She plays with them on her bed, on our bed, on her train tracks, on her garage, in her doll houses, she is never at a loss with her truckes. And that is just a glimpse of my sweet baby girl today.

It's a Miracle!

I have waited a few days to post because I thought it may just be too good to be true. But it has been a few days now, so I guess I can announce now....Alex is sleeping in his own bed, in his own room!!! What did you think I was announcing something else? Nah, this news, for us, is some of the best yet!! Joe and I decided to finally put it plain and simple to Alex - his bed is for sleeping in and not a jungle gym for playing on, so if he wasn't going to start sleeping in his room, then we were going to sell his bed set. Along with that, we asked Alex if he thought he was ready to sleep in the top bunk. He said yes. We didn't believe it. I mean, this is a boy who has slept in between Joe and I for a majority of his life. He slept with us from the time he was born until about six months old. Then he was in and out of our bed from 6 months until 22 months old, when we moved him up to his "big boy bed." At that time, I started to sleep with him in his bed until Jenna was born. Then Joe started to sleep with Alex in his bed until at the age of 2 1/2 years, we said enough and brought Alex back into our bed full-time. Now, just shy of his 5th birthday, Alex has gone from securely sleeping between us to sleeping on his own on the top bunk. And...he loves it!! His first night was Friday May 25th. On Sunday we bought him "army dude" bed sheets and now, there is no getting the boy out of his bed!! He spends his quiet time during the day up there and every night sleeping soundly. We have not once had to get up in the middle of the night for him. Jenna, idolizing her brother the way she does, has moved from her bed to Alex's lower bunk. The last couple of nights have been a bit trying on my nerves. Getting them to settle down and get to sleep has been a challenge, but every night it gets a bit easier. Jenna is even napping in there now, while Alex has his quiet time on the top bunk. This is the first day trying this out. I explained to Alex that while he may not need to nap, Jenna does and so he must be very quiet or else he will have to go to another room. So far, not a sound has come out of the room. One very early morning, at about 3 am, Jenna called out for me and asked to sleep with us. And for the first time since she was 6 months old, I carried her from her bed to sleep snugly between Joe and I. We were so happy to finally have the chance to have her sleeping sweetly between us. And Alex, he was fine in his room alone. Joe says he misses Alex at night. Hmm, I said, while I dearly love Alex, I do not miss him hogging the bed at night, constantly pulling my hair, and yelling at us to move over because we are squishing him!! I'll save my cuddling time with him for the day! Let's just hope this lasts!

Last Day of Preschool

Today was Alex's last day of preschool at Washington Park. Although he still has another year of preschool, we still called it his "graduation" day. As you can see from the picture, Alex got a medal and a certificate. The kids sang a cute song about their love for their families, then they were called up to receive their certificate and pose for a picture and then we had our picnic lunch. It was pretty crazy, but loads of fun! Afterwards, I took the kids to the park and we played much longer than we normally do. On our way home we stopped for some ice-cream to top off Alex's special day. Alex also found a surprise on his booster seat - a Star Wars bag filled with Star Wars goodies! After all, in Alex's own words "Today is my special day. Kind of like a wedding. Like when you had a wedding and married Daddy." I guess in Alex's world, today was pretty big!!

Yucko Mucko

"Yucko Mucko!!" This is my new favorite saying of the kids. It's not only the sheer cuteness of the words, but the intonation they use when saying it. Jenna applies this saying when she is cleaning her "dirty toes." She is in a zone with her toes and they must be free of every spec of dirt. Call it an obsession. I know it is only a phase. Jenna has also accomplished something last night that Alex has never done before. She fell asleep, on her own, and slept by herself, all night, in Alex's bed. She had an extreme scare three nights ago in her room. At 3am I was awakened to hysterical screams from Jenna because of a flying bug in her room. That night we slept together in Alex's bed because she did not want to stay in her room. The next night she said she wanted to sleep in Alex's bed again. I got her all set up, told her she had to go to sleep by herself, but that when it was time for me to go to bed, I would sleep with her. And that's how it went. Last night, again, she wanted to sleep in Alex's bed. When I started to sing songs, she looked at me and said "Mommy, I big girl. I no need you. I fall asleep my own." I asked her if she wanted to me to sleep with her later and she replied "Nah, I big girl. I do it my own." And with that she surpassed her brother, who, yes, still sleeps with Joe and I. My Mother's Day was great. We went for a nature walk at Lincoln Memorial Gardens and then out for lunch, which included an ice-cream dessert - yum!! We spent a quite afternoon playing in the back yard and then had a small dinner. The kids and Joe had made me my favorite healthy chocolate cake, so we enjoyed that afterwards. My presents were a day late, but they were worth the wait. I received two beautiful necklaces, one from the kids and one from Joe. I love them and love the look on the kids faces even more when they see me wearing their necklace. Alex has two days left of preschool. I cannot believe how fast the time has gone by. I remember so clearly how hard it was to drop him off on that first day. How I cried the minute I left the building. How I could not bring myself to leave the park. How that 2 1/2 hours dragged on. How I kept imagining the worst. But I was greeted by a happy, smiling face. I was greeted by a little boy, beaming, saying that he knew he was going to have fun and he did, and he still does. Alex is excited that school is ending. That he has the summer off. But I have a feeling that after a week or two he will miss it. He will have a little "graduation" ceremony on Monday, and then the whole family will have a picnic lunch at his school. I know it will be a great time.

Clue #3

There is now no mistaking that I picked the right piece of paper to track. Clue #3 is "She likes to scrapbook." It is such good feeling that I know Alex so well, and he knows me so well, also. I am very excited to see his drawing of me! I wonder if he will try to make it look like me or if it will be one of his "people" drawings - two eyes, nose, mouth, head, body, arms, legs - but no defining characteristics like curly hair, glasses, brown eyes. I'm looking forward to Friday to see his work of art! Alex's school sent home a really cute project today. The theme for today was "I'm a Big Kid." Back in September Alex was weighed, measured, and asked a few questions. On September 13, 2006, Alex weighed 44 lbs and was 42 inches tall. His favorite color was black, he liked to eat apples and he liked to play trains. Today, May 9, 2007, Alex weighs 46 lbs and is 44 inches tall. His favorite color is green, he still likes to eat apples, and he likes to play Star Wars. I love these kinds of projects that his school does. I love seeing how he changes and how is interests change accordingly. Though, I am quite certain we are in a Star Wars rut for awhile. I will miss this pre-school very much. The teachers are wonderful. I'm sure Alex's next pre-school will be just as good, but if it doesn't quite measure up, Jenna will be going back to Washington Park for her pre-school days. Alex's pre-school next year is a co-op, so I will have a job that I hold all year long and will also work in the classroom one to two days a month. It will be nice to see how he is inside a classroom setting and how he interacts with the other kids. This will also be my first glimpse into how my decision to hold Alex back a year will turn out, as he will be one of the oldest, instead of the youngest in his class. I am solid in my decision and know that I will have absolutely no regrets. It is the best decision for Alex and for our family.

Clue #2 and Harry Potter

OK, so I have not changed my hunch on which Mommy I am. Clue #2 is "I like cuddling with her...I love her." I am a huge cuddle bum and have passed this onto my kids. And since Alex sleeps with us, he gets lots of cuddles at night when I come to bed. So, I'm still sticking with my gut instinct. Clue # 3 on Wednesday - check back. If you have noticed my list of books that I have read this year, you have certainly noticed that I am into Harry Potter at the moment. Yes, several years behind the times, but I am so glad that I finally decided to read them. They are some of the best books I have ever read and highly addictive. The only problem...my timing. I have now finished the sixth book and have to wait 2 1/2 months for the final book to come out. Joe has already pre-ordered it for me and it will be delivered to my door. I'm not sure how Jenna picked up her pronunciation of "Harry Potter", but it is the funniest ever. She has captured a perfect English accent. She has even caused heads to turn at Barnes and Noble when she says it. We find it highly entertaining and she knows it, so she turns it on.

Clue #1

When I dropped Alex off at preschool today there was a new display on the wall. There was a piece of construction paper for each child with a big question mark on the paper and a list of clues under the question mark. No names were on the paper. It is a game for the moms to guess who they are. Clue number one was listed today. Monday there will be a new clue, with another listed on Wednesday. The clues are given by our kids about us. Finally, our pictures, as drawn by our kids will replace the question mark and we will know which mom is which - all in time for Mother's Day. I have a feeling I already know which one is me. I think I know because the color of the construction paper is green, which is Alex's favorite color, and the first clue is "She likes to go to workout class." I started going to a class, two times a week, about three weeks ago, so it is a big deal around here that our night time routine has been slightly altered. I'll let you know if my hunch is right and continue to share the clues. My friend made me laugh because she said she didn't know which one was her because none of them said "She yells at me" or "She never plays with me." Don't we all feel at some point that this must be the way our kids feel about us?

Ray of Hope

Last night Jenna gave me a new ray of hope in our battle of wills over potty training. After getting out of the bath, she looked at me and said, "Mommy, I pee on potty." I quickly dried her off, put the little potty seat on the big potty, and sat her down. A few seconds later we both laughed and cheered and celebrated at the sound of pee hitting the water!! When she was done, we did the happy dance and quickly ran to tell Daddy and Alex her good news!! And of course, as she reminded me the whole time, Jenna got her two M&M's for peeing in the potty. It is a move in the right path. This morning she told me she didn't want to wear diapers anymore (I was elated!). We went to the potty again, she sat, but something happened in those few moments. Was the seat too cold? Did I say something wrong? Did I look at her wrong? Who knows, but in those few moments, she looked at me and said, "no, I don't have to go." We then went back to her room to get her dressed. I had the pull-up ready. She looked at it and said, "no, I want diapers" and lay down for me to put one on. Oh well. A small moment of victory for me. It gives me hope that our days of diapers are soon coming to an end. Until then, I will patiently wait for her to make her next move.

Fun Weekend

The weather, has yet again, been absolutely beautiful!! Joe had the kids outside this past weekend getting the garden ready and even planting some of their crops. Alex and Jenna are so excited to get the garden going. They are adorable, with their little garden tools and gardening gloves, working so seriously. We decided to take a break Saturday night and go out to eat. The kids picked O'Charlie's, with no complaints from Joe and me, kids eat free after all!! After that we headed to the airport to watch for planes, but didn't see any. It was actually just a stalling tactic to allow our food to digest so that we could head to Culver's for some ice-cream. We decided to eat outside and Alex worked his chocolate ice-cream cone like a champ! Not once did we have to do a "clean up" job on the cone - he handled all the drips himself. Jenna also got a chocolate cone. Monkey see, monkey do is all consuming in this house - she must do everything, have everything that Alex has. That is, until she saw my Turtle sundae. After that, her cone was thrust into my hand and she claimed ownership of my sundae. Several times she said to me, while pointing to the cone, "Mommy, that yours now. It's not mine anymore." Oh, the sacrifices of a mother. Joe enjoyed his first, in his recollection, banana split ever. How, I ask, can one go 35 years and not ever have had a banana split? Crazy!!! He, of course, gave us each a bite. The weather was perfect, the sun setting was wonderful, the kids were heavenly. It made Joe and I so excited for our vacation because in that moment, we felt as if we were on vacation. Sunday, it was back to work and I was able to secretly watch Joe teaching Alex how to mow the lawn and then watch Alex push the mower, under Joe's guidance, two paths to finish the yard. The look of achievement on Alex's face was priceless. Being able to watch a father teach his son, being able to watch that bond, far, far, better. It was great weekend!

Sweet Smiles

I took this pictures a couple of days ago while the kids were playing in the backyard. I love their pure, sweet, innocent smiles. In light of recent events at Virginia Tech, I wonder, yet again, how I will be able to let them go. I am so thankful that I have another year to keep Alex close to me. It is sad to say, though, that these days, you are never safe anywhere. But I have also thought about other things in the aftermath of this tragic event. I have realized the absolute importance of teaching my kids to take responsibility for themselves. Alex gets so angry at the object he has stubbed his toe on, or the toy he has tripped over. He blames the object and not himself. It was the toy's fault, not the fact that he wasn't looking were he was going. Or it was Jenna's fault that she hit him, even though he was bothering her to no end. At first, it was easy for me to blame the object along with him..."what was that book thinking, making you trip like that." But it is now time for me to start teaching Alex that he has a role in this. If he were paying attention, he wouldn't have walked into the wall. If he weren't bothering his sister, she wouldn't have hit him. I hope that my kids will learn that they must be responsible for themselves and understand the consequences of their actions. In the bigger picture, I would like for my kids to live life thinking - "I allowed that person to make me upset, now what can I do to change that." I want them to know that they are in control of their lives, and that no one else is to blame, and on the flip side, to take credit for their actions. Good or bad, they are in the driver's seat, with as much guidance,assistance, and support as they need from Joe and me.

I keep thinking of all the things in life that I will teach my kids. What values I want to pass on, what shortfalls in my own attitude I want them to overcome. And it is daunting. And it is hard. But it is my job. Some days I have all the patience in the world for it - explaining why we don't do that, or why we do do this. Other days, it is so very exhausting being the only rational thinker for three people all day. On those days, when Alex comes up to me and tells me Jenna is a "Meany" because she hit him. And I know she hit him because he was in her face taunting and teasing her, I should say "Jenna, hitting is not allowed in this house and Alex, it is not nice to tease your sister" what I find myself saying is "Well, I would hit you, too if you were bothering me like that!" At preschool that other day I heard a wonderful comeback to a child's complaint. The complaint was "Daddy, so and so just called me stupid." In which the Dad replied, "Well, sweetie, don't prove her right." I laughed and realized that we, as parents, will not be right, will not be perfect 100% of the time. How can we, we are only human after all. We do our best and hope that in the end, we have raised good, decent, respectable kids. That's all we can do.

We're going to Disney World!!

As of 10am this morning, the Robeen's are officially heading to Florida for some fun in the sun on our first real vacation since having kids!!! Alex and Jenna are so excited!! Jenna keeps saying "This Saturday, we going to Disney to see Mickey Mouse!!" (Everything is this Saturday to her, don't know how that came about.) But, no, we are not going this Saturday. We will be traveling in September and taking advantage of Disney's free dining plan. Now, starts the hard/fun part - planning on where to eat. A must for this family is Toy Story's Pizza Planet. I mean, how could we NOT eat there!! My kid's are Buzz Lightyear nuts!! And I must eat at Tony's Town Square - it's based on Lady and the Tramp, of course!! Luckily for me, I have been getting much needed advice from a friend who is a seasoned vet at Disney in September. In fact, our trips this year are overlapping each other and the kids are looking forward to playing with their friend at Disney!! I am just happy, happy, happy!!! And of course, in the midst of all this Disney planning, CKC (Creating Keepsakes Convention) has snuck up on me!! My friends and I are taking a one-day road trip for some scrapbooking fun and retail therapy this Saturday. I am looking forward to our class "My Big Fat Chunky Book" to learn some new techniques and am hoping to find my 7 Gypsies stamps that I have been eyeing for some time. I know it will be a great time!! It's a good day.

Happy Birthday Daddy!!

Today is Joe's birthday and I just wanted to wish him a very Happy Birthday!! Like more dads today, Joe is completely hands-on with the kids. I could not ask for a better father, a better, husband, a better friend than I have with Joe. His ability to jump into a never-ending fantasy world with the kids amazes me - from his pirate treasure hunts around the house to his epic-long stories - he captures the kids attention and boosts their imaginations to far reaching ends. I admire, and envy, his relationship with the kids. To Alex, Joe is the greatest person in the world, his buddy, his playmate, his teacher, his Dad. To Jenna, Joe is the tall one, the strong one, and she is learning, the fun one, her Daddy. To me, Joe is everything I could ever want and more.

Happy, happy Birthday, Joe! I love you!!

what I love today

• I love that my kids enthusiastically pick dandelions and present them to me as if they are the most beautiful flowers in the world.

• I love that Alex calls Hershey Kisses "hersee kishes".

• I love that Jenna calls them "hisses kisses" and says "shoulder" for soldier.

• I love that during storytime today at the library I watched my kids take turns rubbing and scratching each others' backs.

• I love that I can move my arms again (I started a workout class this week and found out the hard way how out of shape I am!!).

• It's the little things that make me smile.

Slowly Letting Go

We have been taking advantage of the beautiful weather we have been having and enjoyed a wonderful picnic lunch at the park yesterday after preschool. Several of us do this, so there are always friends for the kids to play with. It was hard for me yesterday, though. While keeping a more careful watch on Jenna, I always check on Alex from time to time. At one point I overheard the game he and his friends were playing - 'can you do this'. I then kept a better watch on them, wanting to know what it was they could do. It was a simple game of follow the leader, basically, can you climb this, can you jump like this. Innocent enough. But it wasn't for me, because I know that Alex is not as dare-devilish as he once was. He has grown more cautious and is hesitant to try things he doesn't think he can do. But he was in front of his friends, so he was following along. My heart said go to him and tell him to play something else, it's too dangerous and he will hurt himself. But my head said, no - this is what parenting is about - knowing when to let go, allowing him to make his own decisions and learn from his own mistakes. Plus, I didn't want to embarrass him in front of his friends, yes, at four years old, this is what I thought!! I let it go, watched, stomach lurching at every climb and jump, making a mental note of the quickest way to the hospital. I was doing fine, until they approached what I call the 'rainbow'. It is a rainbow shaped piece of equipment that the kids can climb over or swing under. I have bad memories of such equipment, as I broke my arm at the age of five playing on something similar. I started for Alex to stop him but as I got closer I heard him say, "no, how about we play something else now." It was a small victory for me, reassuring me that I am preparing him well, that he can make good decisions on his own without my help. That, and he constantly is hearing me tell him the story of how I broke my arm when I was about his age!

Alex is almost five. In the blink of an eye he has grown up on me. He probably weighs about 45 lbs and I wonder how much longer will I be able to pick him up? How much longer can I cradle him in my arms? How much longer can I carry him when his feet tire out? At least I know that, although my arms won't always be strong enough to carry him, they will always be able to comfort him. And how can I not want to hug him and love him when he tells me that I'm the prettiest girl he has ever seen (because I wear earrings - I'll lover look his reasoning and just enjoy the compliment)!!

Happy Birthday Heather!

Today is my sister, Heather's, birthday. And so I want to wish her a very happy birthday!!

Heather, may the force be with you as you start the 24th year of your life. If you should need guidance along the way, I have two Sith Lords (the Dark Side reigns supreme in this house) who can lead you along the way. Watch out for the little one in Cinderella high heels - she is especially tricksy!! But the older one is wise with the Force and powerful in ways you cannot begin to comprehend! They send you very happy birthday wishes and hope you have a great day!!

Posting pictures

So, today I am trying my hand at posting pictures. Sure, reading my posts are great in and of themselves, but I know the pictures will really be what makes people come back to my blog!! After my post yesterday of me as a mom, I thought it only appropriate to post a picture of my kids. I love them!

So, why the title?

Last year I had the wonderful opportunity to go to CKU. The track that I signed up for was "She" by Heidi Swapp. In class we created a scrapbook celebrating a "She" in our life. I decided to make the album about myself, a look at me for my kids. We had to create "sheisms" or statements describing that woman. Many of my sheisms were about me as a mom. Joe pointed this out and said that there was more to me than just being a mom. Yes, there is more to me. I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a friend. But right now, at this point in my life, my main role is as a mother to Alex and Jenna. Joe and I have made a sacrifice to our financial life for the betterment of our family life. I chose to quit my job, which was my dream job, the job I worked so hard for, the job I earned two degrees for, to stay home and raise my kids. I have not one regret for doing so. I have no desire to go back to my "dream" job. My life is centered around my kids. My week is planned around their activities. My hobbies drift back to them. I scrapbook with my friends once a month - I scrap about my kids. I go out to dinner once a month with my friends - conversations always lead back to the kids. I don't mind that I'm not up on current events, that in an adult conversation I would sound far less than scholarly. I enjoy playing with my kids, being there when they need me most, watching them grow before my eyes. I know that my role in their lives will not always be as big as it is now. I know that one day I will have more time to focus on my other roles in life. For now, I will savor every moment - the good and the bad - the happy and the trying. For now, I will focus on me...as a mom.

Something new

So, I am trying something new...a blog. A way to record thoughts, stories, happenings, in my family's life. As a scrapbooker who almost always skips over the journaling, I thought this would be a good way to keep track of those stories, or even to write them. Since we are far from family, this will be a way to share moments they miss. If nothing else, it gives me one more thing to do on the computer during nap time!! Be patient with me as I test the waters of the blogging world!