Sweet Smiles

I took this pictures a couple of days ago while the kids were playing in the backyard. I love their pure, sweet, innocent smiles. In light of recent events at Virginia Tech, I wonder, yet again, how I will be able to let them go. I am so thankful that I have another year to keep Alex close to me. It is sad to say, though, that these days, you are never safe anywhere. But I have also thought about other things in the aftermath of this tragic event. I have realized the absolute importance of teaching my kids to take responsibility for themselves. Alex gets so angry at the object he has stubbed his toe on, or the toy he has tripped over. He blames the object and not himself. It was the toy's fault, not the fact that he wasn't looking were he was going. Or it was Jenna's fault that she hit him, even though he was bothering her to no end. At first, it was easy for me to blame the object along with him..."what was that book thinking, making you trip like that." But it is now time for me to start teaching Alex that he has a role in this. If he were paying attention, he wouldn't have walked into the wall. If he weren't bothering his sister, she wouldn't have hit him. I hope that my kids will learn that they must be responsible for themselves and understand the consequences of their actions. In the bigger picture, I would like for my kids to live life thinking - "I allowed that person to make me upset, now what can I do to change that." I want them to know that they are in control of their lives, and that no one else is to blame, and on the flip side, to take credit for their actions. Good or bad, they are in the driver's seat, with as much guidance,assistance, and support as they need from Joe and me.

I keep thinking of all the things in life that I will teach my kids. What values I want to pass on, what shortfalls in my own attitude I want them to overcome. And it is daunting. And it is hard. But it is my job. Some days I have all the patience in the world for it - explaining why we don't do that, or why we do do this. Other days, it is so very exhausting being the only rational thinker for three people all day. On those days, when Alex comes up to me and tells me Jenna is a "Meany" because she hit him. And I know she hit him because he was in her face taunting and teasing her, I should say "Jenna, hitting is not allowed in this house and Alex, it is not nice to tease your sister" what I find myself saying is "Well, I would hit you, too if you were bothering me like that!" At preschool that other day I heard a wonderful comeback to a child's complaint. The complaint was "Daddy, so and so just called me stupid." In which the Dad replied, "Well, sweetie, don't prove her right." I laughed and realized that we, as parents, will not be right, will not be perfect 100% of the time. How can we, we are only human after all. We do our best and hope that in the end, we have raised good, decent, respectable kids. That's all we can do.