Back to School

Yesterday was Alex's first day at his new preschool. Although he doesn't look too happy in the picture taken outside of his school, he had a GREAT time! Alex's job was line leader and he got to lead the kids out to the play ground. He said it was a cool job. He said he played with everything, but forgot to do the art project (so typical of Alex). He said the computer at his school is better than the computer at home (I didn't point out that the one at school doesn't have his Jedi games on it). He said he likes his new school better than his old school (because it has a computer). He ate a granola bar and applesauce for snack. They had juice boxes, a big hit with Alex. By the end of his day, he was a sweaty mess of a boy with a huge smile on his face, wanting to know when his next day of school was. It was a good day.

This year was easier for me, as we have one year of pre-school under our belt. This year I was not up all night worrying about all the things that could go wrong. This year I did not fear that he would hate school. This year I did not worry about him missing me and being miserable. This year I did not cry when I walked out the door. I do confess, I did worry about Alex not knowing any of the kids. At his old school, he had three life-long friends in his class. I was afraid he wouldn't have anyone to play with. I was afraid of him hanging out by himself. But when I pulled up, I saw him running around with a bunch of the boys in his class, laughing and having so much fun. I realized that I view so much of his life through adult eyes, through my eyes. I forget how quickly kids adapt to change and how easy it is for them to make friends. And I am so glad of that and so proud of Alex for making the best of it. In fact, the first thing he asked me was "when do I get to go to school where I go back in the afternoon?" I was thrown off by his question and didn't understand. Then through more conversation with him I realized Alex was asking when he gets to go to school all day like some of his friends. I told him next year, when he is six and goes to big school. He was disappointed and I was jarred by the thought that the days are approaching when he will begin to build his own life, outside of our family. When his friends will take a bigger role in his life. When I won't know what he is doing every minute of every hour of every day. When I take yet another step to letting him go.