Historical for me...not for my kids

Last night was history in the making for millions of Americans. Joe and I watched the poll returns all night. The moment Senator Obama was declared the next President of the United States is one I will never forget. The feeling I had, that many across the country had, is best summed up in Obama's slogan - YES WE CAN!!!!! I felt as if I were living in a movie minute when the country has united in a victory - like in Armageddon after the asteroid has been blown up or in Independence Day when the aliens have been defeated. Some of the most important values I want to teach my kids are to accept differences and treat everyone equally. I know that everyone has their prejudices and too many people stereotype. I live my life ignoring stereotypes and try to not pass judgement on others. I say try, and I am sorry that I do have to try, because no one is perfect. I work on certain prejudices that may creep into my life, and for the most part, I truly believe I am accepting of everyone. Joe and I have tried to expose our kids to all walks of life, so that they do not look down at others, so that differences that do exist are just that differences but not inequalities or disabilities. That no one is better than anyone else because they make more money, they have a certain color of skin, they are in a "normal" relationship. And while having an African-American President is a huge deal for me, for Joe, for most of this country, it will not be a big deal for my kids and that is a GOOD thing!! I am hoping that for the next eight years, when the President comes on TV, my kids will see Obama before them and think nothing of the fact that he is African-American. I hope that this is a step towards erasing racial divides in our country. I hope that President Obama is just the first of many "minorities" that will lead our country during my kids' lives. For my kids, the thrill of this victory is not that Obama is African-American, but that mommy once worked with this great man. For me, it is that I truly believe our country will now be in the right hands. And that while all the problems will not be solved overnight, our country is headed in the right direction. Today, I am proud to be an American.

Owen and Dolly

As I mentioned in the previous post, the night of the Jack O'Lantern Spooktacular was cold so we needed to bundle Owen up. It was the first time he wore his winter coverall. When we put him in the van Jenna took one look at him and said he looked like Dolly (Jenna's lovey for the past 3 1/2 years). When I looked at Owen again, I just laughed because he really did resemble Dolly. We had to capture that!

Celebrating Fall

As usual, we have been quite busy this fall season with all our festivals and parties. Joe and I usually love this time of year and look forward to all of our traditions, but I will admit, it has been a bit more trying with a new baby in tow! Owen has been a trooper with this mad family he has been born into!! We have already been to the Indian Summer Festival (which was very hot!), the Jack O'Lantern Spooktacular (which was very cold!), the Great Pumpkin Patch (which was very windy!), Where are the Wild Things at the Illinois State Museum, and our play group Halloween party (which was very loud!). And just for good measure we threw in a trip to the St. Louis Zoo. We did miss one Halloween party due to illness and still have a couple more Halloween celebrations to go before the actual event of trick-or-treating, not to mention carving our pumpkins! The Jack O'Lantern Spooktacular was a first for us this year and it was wonderful!! It is held at the Washington Park Botanical Gardens and it is an amazing walk through 2008 lit Jack O'Lanterns! The number will increase every year as the number of pumpkins matches the year. Jenna's preschool class craved a pumpkin for the event, but in all honesty we could not find it amongst the other 2007 pumpkins but we had so much fun looking for it! Despite getting to the pumpkin patch later in the month we were still able to pick our own pumpkins from the patch. This is always a fun time watching the kids critique every pumpkin they find wondering if the next one they find might be better. Normally our pumpkins reflect our position in the family - Joe's is the biggest, then mine, then Alex's, then Jenna's, and Owen's would be the smallest this year. But Alex threw that out the window this year and got the biggest pumpkin! He can lift bigger pumpkins so why not go with the biggest?! Halloween costumes were much easier this year. Alex is a pirate and is wearing a costume he already had but we did buy him a new sword and Jenna is finally the ghost she has always wanted to be! As for Owen, we have slimmed him down by putting a skeleton onesie on him...it glows in the dark!! While we have enjoyed our busy season Joe and I have decided to ease up a bit during the Holiday season, stay home more and really just take in our incredible kids - to have fun with them, to play with them, to make great memories with them!

Funny Jenna

On the way to preschool this morning Jenna informed me that Owen was "slobbering milk." This is Alex and Jenna's way of telling me that Owen has spit up. I cannot see Owen when we are in the car because he is rear-facing and we have yet to find a system of mirrors that allow me to see him. Anyway, it doesn't really matter because no one can reach Owen; I'm driving, Owen is in the middle row, and the two older ones are in the back row. As usual, I thank Jenna for letting me know and say, as I always do, that I will clean Owen up when we get to where we are going. Jenna then says, "Never mind, Mom. Owen is getting it. He is scooping the milk back into his mouth with his hands." Then there is a pause, I assume she is watching this process, and then I hear "Mom, that is sooo gross!" Never a dull moment in our lives!

9 Years

Nine years ago today I married my best friend, my soul mate. In a day when marriages easily fail, I cannot imagine not being married to Joe for the rest of my life. While we have a long way to go before we are old and gray, we think of the day when we will sit in our rocking chairs on our wrap-around porch (a house we don't own yet) on a beautiful Fall morning (our favorite season) drinking our coffee, still holding hands, waiting for our kids and grand kids to come for a visit. Our nine years together have gone by quickly. Together we have purchased one car, one house, gone on three big vacations, and have brought into this world three absolutely amazing kids. We have endured sad times together and, yes, we have had our share of arguments but always is the love, respect, and admiration for/of each other. So, how will we celebrate these last nine years? Will we hire a sitter and go out for a fancy dinner? We will go see a movie? We will go out for a coffee afterwards? Nope. We will celebrate it the best way we can think of - small, quiet, and cozy here at home with the kids. I'm making one of Joe's favorite meals and then after we put the kids to bed we plan on cuddling on the couch and watching the VP debate relishing in the fact that we both love the simplicity of life and still love each other's company. Happy Anniversary Joe...I love you!!

A Week in the Life

My, my! It's been quite some time. I'm not sure if it's I haven't really had anything to say or that I haven't really had time. Some of both I guess. Well, I am embarking upon a new project this week - documenting my life for a whole week. It is a scrapbooking project taught by Ali Edwards. Even though I may not lead the most exciting life, I think it will be a fun project to look back on in 5, 10, even 20 years from now. The project entails carrying your camera with you everywhere and taking pictures of your everyday life. Along with the pictures, you carry a notebook with you also and jot down thoughts, funny things said, what you did, etc. For this project, I did not do a whole house cleaning so my house looks good in the photos. I want to capture the chaos I live in day in and day out. Clutter is part of my life right now, so why not document it? I am also hoping that getting pictures of myself will motivate me to start shedding those baby pounds! **I will have to finish later, Owen has woke up from his nap and needs to be fed!!**

Hello Preschool!

Today was Jenna's first day of preschool. As we were driving to her school, I was second guessing my decision to put her into the school that I did. Jenna kept talking about Alex's last preschool, the preschool she knew, the preschool she was comfortable with. I was upset with myself for basing my decision on what was convenient and easiest for me and not thinking about where Jenna would be most comfortable. Even though Alex spent a year at this preschool, also, Jenna was only two years old and really has no memory of it, or so I thought. But when we went inside, she knew where to go to hang up her back pack and she walked right to the boys bathroom, where we went with Alex, so I knew she had at least a vague memory of the place. After redirecting her to the girls bathroom, my apprehension eased a bit. We knew Jenna was a bit scared, but she was also very excited to finally be going to school just like Alex. We walked her into her classroom, gave our hugs and kisses and walked out. And I was fine. No tears, no second-thoughts, no fears that she was going to have a horrible time. It is nicer this way. It is easier this way. I think it is because I have now been through this with Alex and I know the school. I know the teachers. I know the program. I am comfortable with it all. The two and half hours flew by and before I knew it, I was unsticking the "magic glue" from Jenna with a tap of my hand on her head and she was back in my arms - all smiles and telling me that she had so much fun! I decided a special treat was in order and after some time running down the hill, we went for some ice-cream. Yes, it was lunch time, but some days deserve ice-cream for lunch and this was definitely one of them. When we sat down to eat Jenna said, "OK, now let me tell you about my day." I heard about the boy in the green shirt with the stripe and the number 3 that she played with. I heard about applesauce and milk for snack. I heard about criss-cross applesauce while listening to Polar Bear, Polar Bear. I heard about the trucks and big mountain she played with and about how she wanted to play with the baby dolls but that area was always really crowded. I heard about the girl in her class that cried and cried because she wanted her mommy and how Jenna did NOT cry. And I heard about her favorite part of the day, playing outside and how she climbed on top of the monkey bars. I am so proud and so very happy for Jenna to have something of her own - to be able to see her become her own self, without the shadow of her big brother looming over her. I think she is going to have a great year! You go my girly girl!!

First Day of Kindergarten

Wasn't it just days ago when I first held you in my arms and got lost in your eyes? Wasn't it just hours ago when you hit all your milestones - smiling, laughing, rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking? Wasn't it just minutes ago when I first had to let you go and walked you into your first preschool class? Where does the time go? I have been by your side for six years now and you have been by mine. And though we are still a team, and will always be, our time together is changing. You will be away from me for the better part of the day, continuing to grow into your own little person, venturing out and finding your place in the world. I will still guide you. I will still teach you. And I will love watching you continue to grow, just as I have loved watching you over the last six years. And I am so happy that we survived this day - me, choking back the tears as I gave you that hug and kiss good-bye and watched you walk through the doors of the school; you, having so much fun on your first day with recess ("we had three recesses today Mom!!") being your favorite part. It will be a good year, buddy, and I am so happy for you!

Quiet...Too Quiet

Right now it is just me and my man, Owen. Alex and Jenna are at Grandma and Grandpa Robeen's. They left around 4pm yesterday and I still cannot adjust to the absolute quietness of the house (Owen is asleep). It is funny, but I do not like the quiet. I know at times I would do anything to have some peace around here, but now that I have it, I don't like it. It is eerie. It proves just how much my life is entwined with the kids...how my life is the kids. The send off was very hard for me. It was all just bad timing on our part. We had Joe's parents come after quiet time, in which Jenna fell asleep. Jenna has a hard time waking up, she needs extra care when she first wakes up, some cuddle time on the couch normally. So yesterday she awoke to me packing her clothes and toys in a suit case and it was just a bit much. She broke down crying - torn between really wanting to go and needing to stay home with me. It was hard, but my strong-willed girl worked through it and decided to go. As they pulled out of the drive way her eyes filled with tears and her lips quivered as she said "I love you." The minute they were out of eye shot, I started to cry. It was hard to let both of them go, especially under the circumstances. But just as we knew, Jenna was fine by the time they reached the end of our road. Joe and I sat on the couch looking at each other after the kids left trying to figure out what we did before we had kids, or what we did when we just had Alex. It was a quiet night...again that word...quiet.

My day today...

Today was a shopping nightmare. I knew I was taking a risk by not putting the older two down for their quiet time. But Owen was diagnosed with eczema and I needed to change his baby wash, lotion, and detergent. So, the trip was necessary. And since we were out, I figured I'd start Alex's school shopping. Now, Owen does not like his car seat. He normally screams an entire car trip. Today started out well. No screaming. We get to the store, a smooth transition from car to inside and he remains asleep. The kids want a double cart so they don't have to walk and I agree knowing that Jenna will tire out. We make it to the baby section and I check out the creams and wash, but want to check the general section before I decide what to get. So, off to school supplies. Just as we are getting the list out, Owen wakes up and starts screaming. He NEEDS to be out of his seat. But I cannot push the huge double cart with one hand. So, I tell the other two to sit tight and we are off to the front of the store to switch carts, with Owen screaming the whole time. We make the switch and head to the back of the store again. On the way, we hit the cream/lotion section and I have to read all the labels and find nothing - I'll have to head back to the baby section for that. But we need other things in that area, so let's keep shopping...oh, yeah, Owen is in one arm and my other arm is supposed to push the cart and hold his pacifier in his mouth...tricky, but somehow we manage. I find the huge sized laundry detergent and lug it into the cart with one hand. Then onto the huge sized paper-towels and toilet paper - here I put the kids to work and they become the other four arms every mother needs. By this time, Owen has made it clear that he does not want to be lying down in my arm but up on my shoulder. Even though he has good head control, he's still at the age where two arms are really needed to hold him....hmm, my one arm left now has how many jobs? So, I put my chin to work and hold onto his shoulder with it, while pushing the shopping cart with my other hand. OK, back to school supplies. Really, how many packs of markers, crayons and bottles of glue does one child need - today, we purchased 8 total and we are still not done! The bright side, Alex and Jenna had fun running around trying to find everything we needed. When we couldn't find anything else on the list, it was time to head back to the baby department to get the wash and lotion. To get to said location we would have to pass the toy department. Really, my left arm is now numb from lugging Owen's 12 lbs around, my neck is sore from acting like another arm and I am starting to break a sweat. I just want to finish the trip and get home. I agree to two aisles only and have to repeat myself only 20 times that we were not at the store to buy toys. We leave the toy department (with muffled comments, most likely regarding what a horrible mother I am and how unfair life can be), head to the baby department, and then I realize I forgot the coffee. I cannot leave the store without purchasing more coffee, how am I to cope tomorrow if I don't get more coffee. The coffee is on the other side of the store, so off we go and we might as well stop by the kids artsy stuff to see if we can find the crayons that were out in the school supply section. Knowing that I was going to need two arms to check-out, I ease Owen back into his car seat. At this time, Alex and Jenna pounce on the sides of the cart, adding 90 lbs that I must push around. Get coffee and head to check out lanes, finally!! Start putting our stuff up and Owen stirs and starts screaming. Let me just say that my boy is loud, very loud, like everyone anywhere near you staring at you loud. We get the stuff unloaded, I hand over my coupons and the poor check out guy picks up his phone - I give him a pleading look while fumbling with my one hand to find my wallet in my huge diaper bag - apparently at Target, you are only allowed so many coupons at one time without manager approval. Thankfully the guy hangs up his phone and says he's going to save me five minutes and just scan all the coupons. Really, I think he just wants Owen out of the store. I load the stuff back into the cart and with the little sanity I have left head for the door when I hear a little voice say "Mommy, I have to go potty". Really. Is this really happening? Knowing Jenna would not make it home I head to the restrooms. Alex pipes in that he also has to go, so I throw them both into the family bathroom and tell them to hurry. Owen is a screaming, sweaty mess and it really seems like his head is about to explode, he is that red. Alex slowly opens the door, sticks his head out and tells me that Jenna is pooping...yes, it got that much better. Now, I am required to go in and wipe her, with Owen ready to pop. And let me tell you, the bathroom really is a great amplifier for a screaming infant. Owen goes back into his carseat, the screaming escalates, I didn't know that it could. We finish in there, open the door to an audience - I'm sure the whole store could hear Owen by now. It is feeding time. Their is no way I'm going to make it home. So, we head to the Starbuck's in the store, find a seat and I fix Owen his bottle. While feeding him, I somehow manage to find my wallet, go up to the counter, purchase two cookies and a bottle of water for Alex and Jenna. At least I now had time to relax and there was some quiet. In this quiet moment I overhear two women at the table next to me talking about a friend of theirs who is expecting. This woman has decided to stay at home with her baby and one woman says to the other, "she is going to be bored out of her mind." How was your day?

Remembering...

One year ago today we lost our little angel. Not having a definitive medical answer for four days, but knowing in my heart what was happening will probably stay with me forever. The weeks afterwards of comprehending the loss and grieving are still fresh in my mind. But the pain is fading. The loss greatly impacted my pregnancy with Owen. Even in the last few weeks of my pregnancy, I feared I would lose the baby. I cannot put into words the overwhelming relief that showered me when Owen was put into my arms and I heard him crying. My baby was alive, my baby was healthy. The birth of all my children will be moments that I will never forget. But Owen's birth will always hold that much more for me. I will always remember and I will always love the one I lost.

Happy Birthday!

OK, so I'm late in posting...but my arms are rarely empty these days! We had a big week last week! Alex and Jenna celebrated their birthdays! It is hard to believe that Alex is now 6 and even harder for me to grasp is that Jenna is 4!! We had a small celebration with just the 5 of us on their actual birthday. First thing in the morning the kids dove into their pile of presents from us, Owen, and each other. Then, Joe took Alex and Jenna to the water park during the day. Our day ended with dinner at Steak 'N Shake (the kid's latest favorite restaurant). Their party was held on the 19th at Chuck E. Cheese. The theme this year was split between Ben 10 for Jenna and Transformers for Alex. I decided to make life easy for myself this year and ordered cakes - which turned out great!! The kids had a great time and as usual, it was Christmas in July! I'm still trying to figure out where to put all the new stuff!! Jenna received a nice mix of boy toys and girly things too! She makes a beautiful Snow White in her new dress from Grandma and Grandpa Robeen. Joe and I are getting a kick out of watching her care for her new baby from Auntie Marge and Uncle Manny, which she has named Sally. Jenna has mastered copying me and the way I care for Owen, even holding Sally's bottle with her mouth like I do during those rare times when I could use three arms!! Alex was loaded down with Transformers, GI Joe's, and of course, Star Wars. He took much of his loot and headed up north with Banya and Papa for a week. I hope he is having fun. Jenna misses him so much already. We also fit in a doctor's visit this past week and I was so shocked at much they have grown over one year!! Alex gained 7 pounds and grew 3 inches. He is now 53 pounds and 47 inches tall. Jenna gained 8 pounds and also grew 3 inches. She is now 40 pounds and is 40 inches tall. And let's not forget our "little" bruiser, Owen, who is now tipping the scales at 10 pounds 9 ounces and is 22 1/2 inches long. What can I say, we have some solid, sturdy kids!! Alex received his shots for kindergarten and he did so great!! He cried with the 3rd and 4th shots and though I could only see his legs, I had to stifle my own tears...pregnancy hormones...as I flashed back to watching him get his first shots when he was a tiny baby. Where does the time go? Life is crazy with Owen thrown into the mix. But it is such a crazy GOOD!! I already cannot imagine life without him and am head-over-heels in love with him. The kids adore him and we are easing into this new life of ours. Joe is back at work. I'm mothering only 2 right now. The real test will come next week when Alex is thrown back into the mix. But he is so helpful. It will be good to have him home again. NOTE: check back next week as my tune might have changed completely and there may be a ticker counting down the days until he goes to school!!!

Web Nursery

Owen's hospital picture can be viewed at http://www.our365.com/NewbornPortraits/BabyDetail.aspx?birthid=21f7080e-ab49-4d4f-84a9-a1131ab7f6d0&babyid=9292c61d-f47a-4549-9f3d-f56743758b62 Sorry for the long web address, I'm still trying to figure out how to link! Just copy and paste the address.

Baby's Here!!

Our SON, Owen Reid, was born on June 26th at 8:52 am. He tipped the scales at 9 lbs, 5oz and was 22 inches long. As I mentioned in my last post, my doctor had a plan for my delivery. Well, little Owen had his own plan. I went into labor on my own around 2am on the 26th. Since I was supposed to check into the hospital around 5am, I decided to labor at home for as long as I could. My contractions started at 12minutes apart, then moved up to 10 minutes apart. At 8 minutes apart, around 3:30am, I decided to take a shower and get ready to go. Joe and I left for the hospital at 4:30am, when my contractions where 6 minutes apart. I was admitted shortly after 5am and by the time I was checked, about 6:30am, I was 5cm. I asked for my epidural then and received it around 7am, I think. I tried to rest, but really, how could I sleep!! I was waiting for my doctor to come and break my water around 8:30am. But around that time I was starting to get uncomfortable. I mentioned to Joe I was feeling lots of pressure and after experiencing three "pressure moments", I called for the nurse. She checked me and in a shocked tone informed me that I was completely dilated and the baby's head was right there. It was a frenzy of commotion after that. My doctor was paged and I was told to "breathe" through the contractions. My doctor arrived and tried to break my water, but she believes it had broken earlier. She went to change and the nurse prepped me for a practice push. I was half way through the push when I was told to stop because the baby's head was crowning. At this point, I was losing control and was yelling that I HAD to push, I NEEDED to push. But I struggled through it and when my doctor gave me the OK to push, I did and the baby's head popped right out. One more tiny push and the baby was out and we saw that we had a new baby BOY! I thought I was having a boy, but I was wrong with my other two, so I figured I was having a girl. Joe and I were very surprised!! Owen is a wonderful baby! He rarely fusses and sleeps all the time! So, who does he look like...he looks just like Owen!! He resembles both Alex and Jenna in different ways, but favors Jenna a bit more. Alex and Jenna are completely in love with him! Alex loves to hold him and help me feed him. Jenna likes picking out his clothes and getting his pacifier. She loves to "pet" him, as she calls it. We are adjusting well and hope that things continue to go as smoothly as they have been.

The Wait is Almost Over

I had another doctor's appointment today to see if we could go ahead with my induction on the 26th...and we got the green light!! Although it has taken me four weeks to go from a one to a two, it was enough for my doctor to feel more comfortable about inducing me. The baby's head is still not engaged, but it is a bit further down. My doctor now feels, as I have for weeks, that the baby's face is pointing toward my stomach. This accounts for my incredibly SLOW progress and the intense back pain I have been feeling for the last couple of days. Due to this presentation of the baby, it will most likely mean that I will be facing a longer labor - longer than I should experience since this is my third baby. Really, I don't care. As long as I have my epidural, I will be in labor for as long as it takes!! By my doctor's estimates, though anything can happen, expect Baby Robeen to make his/her appearance late afternoon on the 26th!!!

Forgot the HAPPY News!!

In my vast disappointment with my doctor's appointment I forgot to mention the extremely wonderful event that happened yesterday....Jenna pooped in the potty!! Now, if you have been following my blog, I have posted about the potty war before. Jenna has been "pee" trained since she was three. She no longer needs a pull-up at nap nor at night and hasn't used one for a long time. But the poop. Oh the poop! She has had an unexplainable fear of pooping in the potty. Nothing we did or said could change this fear. After trying rewards and punishment, we gave up and just let her poop in a pull-up, sitting on the potty. I began the when-you-are-four-there-are-no-more-pull-ups speech a couple of months ago. Well, for whatever reason, yesterday she decided that she was going to poop in the potty. I said, OK, thinking nothing would happen. But, she did it. And, boy, did we celebrate! She ran and told Alex. She called Daddy at work. And then the rewards...Jenna got a Ben 10 figure, that she has known has been in the house waiting for just this moment and she got all her "truckses" back that had been previously taken away (part of the punishment that did not work). She pooped two more times in the potty yesterday and has pooped three times in the potty today. Yes, extreme, but we think she is still getting used to it and doesn't release everything at one go. Regardless, we are so proud of her and more importantly she is so proud of herself and has declared herself an official big girl!! Way to go Jenna, you beat your fourth birthday deadline and we are so happy for you!!!

Yes, we are STILL waiting...

After enduring three weeks of contractions and cramping, I am STILL at a loose one. This was my fourth exam with no change at all. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. So, the plan for now is to go back in for another exam on Tuesday morning to see if I am more favorable for my scheduled induction on Thursday, June 26th. It would be nice to go into labor on my own before then, but if that does not happen, then I am hoping that regardless of how my appointment goes on Tuesday the induction will happen on Thursday. The discomfort is starting to take it's toll on me and my family. I easily snap at the kids and have cried more than I really care too. I just told Joe tonight that I am starting to loose perspective on this because I am focusing more on just having the pregnancy over than meeting our new little baby. Stay tuned...who knows what will happen!

Still Waiting...

No baby yet. We are still waiting. Me, waiting not so patiently. I'm extremely uncomfortable. Enough said. My new theory is that this baby will be born on Friday the 13th, because really, who wants to have their baby born on Friday the 13th!! I told Joe that if it is a boy born on the 13th we will just have to name him Jason!! I have another doctor's appointment on the 12th. Hopefully all of these contractions I have been having will have made some change bringing me that much closer to meeting the little wriggly one in my belly!!

Pregnancy Brain at it's best

So, today I pulled the all-time winning pregnancy brain move so far. This takes the cake for all the other pregnancy brain moves I have made from all my pregnancies. So, Alex and I had to go grocery shopping today (Jenna is spending time at Banya and Papa's...all by herself). When we left our house, it was cloudy but showing no signs of raining. As we get closer to Meijer, the end of the world is descending upon us and we drive right into a powerful thunderstorm. We pull into the parking lot and sit in the car a bit as we decide what we want to do - dash for the store and get soaked or just head home (at $4.00 a gallon of gas this wasn't really appealing to me). As we were sitting there was a slight lull in the storm and I said to Alex let's just go for it, it's only rain we'll dry off. So, as we open the doors I tell Alex not to lock them, that way we can get back into the car quickly if it is still raining. We take off, I do not go into labor while running to the store, and we proceed to shop. About one hour later, we are checked out and I go to get my keys. I cannot find them anywhere!! Then, it hits me, I left them in the car. I tell Alex we are locked out. He reminds me we didn't lock the doors. Now, I think we don't have a car anymore because someone stole it. As we head out, I see our car - relief. Alex opens my door and says "Yep, Mom they're here." I had left the keys IN the ignition with the doors unlocked!!! I'm lucky it was not stolen. Ahh, pregnancy brain at it's finest. I put Alex in charge of the keys the rest of the trip for his fee of $2.00!! So sad when your 5 year old is more responsible than you are!!

9 Months

So, this is it - the final month. I am really, really hoping that I do not have to go all the way to my due date. Since this will be my third delivery and the fact that Jenna came two weeks early, my doctor thinks I have a pretty good chance of going earlier than my due date. I had my first weekly appointment yesterday and found out that I am dilated to a "loose" one and the baby is head down (my doctor felt the head). Of course, I could stay there for a couple of weeks or I could go into labor any day now. This is the part that is driving me crazy!! I hate not knowing when it will happen as I am such a planner. I took the kids for a bike ride today and half-way through it I thought I was going to throw myself into labor!! It is hot and sticky out, I swelled up like a balloon and what I have believed to be the baby moving (arching his/her back or stretching) are actually Braxton-Hicks contractions and I had a few of those! Joe is working on a project at work that is due today and he is the only one who can do it. All he asked last night was that I not go into labor today! I don't think he would have approved of my actions this morning! This afternoon I'm taking it easy and helping the kids make big brother/sister t-shirts that they can wear to the hospital. I have realized that there are two time frames in their minds - Before Big Belly and After Big Belly. I was a much more fun mom, apparently, in the time of Before Big Belly. This phrase often is associated with when we went to Disney. "Mom, do you remember when we went to Disney and you could do things because it was Before your Big Belly..." Ahh, nothing like the sweet honesty of kids.

Preschool Fieldtrip

On May 22 we went on the end-of-the-year field trip with Alex's preschool. Our destination - the Children's Museum in Bloomington/Normal. Our mode of transportation - Amtrak. What a long, but fun day we had!! A group of almost 30 rode the train. The kids had so much fun! Although we have rode the Amtrak before, Jenna was just a baby and has no memory of it. So, this was quite a big deal for her. Joe took the day off and came with us. All the kids wanted to sit together and at one point I think we had 8 kids sitting in four seats! Visiting the snack car was a big treat. I opted not to walk much on the train. I am waddling enough on my own without the aid of a moving train! The museum was great! There are three floors of fun, exploration, and discovery to be had. Jenna and I lost Alex and Joe for most of the morning. The water table, lego table, and farm harvesting center were big hits for Jenna in the morning. Joe told me that he and Alex loved the giant sized chess set. We met with the group for lunch and the afternoon hit for Jenna was the wall painting where she was able to paint on glass. Then it was back down to the first floor where she discovered the train table and finally met up with Alex again where we played restaurant and grocery store. One final stop at the water table and our day at the museum was over. The train trip back wasn't as fun, but we were tired and had trouble finding seats. We all ended up in the observation car and Jenna and Alex played with friends until our arrival back in Springfield. We all had a good time and agreed it would be a trip we could do again. It was a bit sad as we parted with our friends as it most likely will be the last time we see them. With all the kids going to different schools next year, it will be hard to keep in touch. But now our summer has begun and our wait for baby is on!!

Graduation

So, did I cry? You bet! It wasn't at the processional. It wasn't when Alex was awarded his "degree". It was at the very beginning with the slide show that introduced the graduating kids. A baby photo popped up first, followed by a recent picture of the child, and ended with a family photo. Of course, sappy music was playing in the background, the kind you dance with your mom or dad at your wedding. I got teary eyed when the slide show began and it wasn't even Alex on the screen yet. As the alphabet got closer to him, the tears just kept coming. I looked over at Joe, all embarrassed and cursed pregnancy hormones. He just gave me a reassuring look and said it was fine. Alex hugged me. Whew! That was hard to get over. I was fine through the songs sung by the kids. Then the kids had a surprise they had to go get. When I saw the first kid come through the doors with a pink carnation, I knew the water works would start again. And I saw my baby boy, now a five year old boy - a child, and no longer a baby - round the corner with my flower. He had a huge smile on his face and came up to me and gave me a huge hug and handed me the flower. I held on a bit longer than I should have and a bit tighter but when I let him go, I was fine again. The morning ended with the processional, the presentation of the degrees and then we had refreshments. Alex had a cupcake, a piece of cake, and a cookie. How could we say no, it was his big day! Jenna, now, she gave me some grief. We were going to stay with the class so that I could help out before the ceremony began, but she so badly wanted to do what the other kids were doing that I had to take her out. I felt bad for her. She wanted a hat. She wanted to sit on stage. She wanted to sing the songs. But once I removed her and gave her some one-on-one time, she was OK. Then when Joe showed up we made a big deal that she got to sit with Daddy. That appeased her enough. At one point she did tell me that when she went to preschool, Alex could NOT sit up front with her because it would be her special day! Afterwards we went to McDonald's (they are giving out Speed Racer toys, you know). Alex did find a surprise on his booster seat, an army bucket filled with a pack of WOW cards, Spiderman cards, and Star Wars cards along with a Hulk pen and a new toothbrush (he needed a new one, so why not just throw it in). Joe surprised both kids with baseball bats and balls. After quiet time we are headed outside to play some baseball. It's been a good day and Alex has felt special and knows that we are proud of him, what more can we ask for?

Big Changes Ahead

It is hard for me to believe that tomorrow Alex "graduates" from preschool. He had a graduation ceremony last year but I was fine with it because I knew he was going to preschool for another year. But tomorrow, well, I think it will be hard for me. In just a few short months Alex will begin the next phase of his life - the school years. I am having a hard time thinking about him being away from me the whole day -not knowing what he is doing, who he is talking to, how he is behaving, what he is eating, wondering if he is having fun, wondering if he is getting in trouble, wondering if he fits in. It's a lot to deal with. And I know deep down that he will be just fine. I really think he is going to like school. He knows what is ahead. He knows he is going to go to school like Daddy goes to work (5 days of school, 2 days off). He knows he is going to eat lunch at school (just make sure you pack things I like, Mom). He knows he no longer has to have quiet time (the biggest highlight I think). Oh well, plenty of time to dwell on these thoughts in August. I just hope I'm not a huge emotional mess tomorrow. I was teary-eyed at the Big Brother/Big Sister class the kids went to at the hospital this past weekend. Alex and Jenna were so excited about the class. They learned about how things will be different when the baby comes home and that the baby will take up a lot of mom and dad's time. The nurse told the kids that it was alright to feel upset or angry about the baby sometimes. If they felt this way then they were to tell mom or dad that they needed some alone time with mom or with dad. When she said that, I flashed back to one of the hardest moments I had after Jenna came home. Alex woke up from his nap and called for me. I went into his room carrying Jenna. Alex's eyes teared up and he said in his little-just-turned-2-year-old voice "Baby down. Me, Mommy." I'm hoping we all transition smoothly. The class really helped them feel special and understand what is to come. We visited a maternity suite, so they know what the room will look like when they come to visit. They saw a newborn through the nursery window. They made pictures for the baby that the hospital staff will put on the baby's bassinet and they were able to wrap a present for the baby. Alex picked out a bib that said "I've got a great big brother" and Jenna picked out a stuffed animal. The kids then got a certificate and a bag filled with lots of neat things like books and crayons. Jenna thought the tiny baby diaper was so funny. Alex is now really excited about the baby. In class they mentioned how the baby is already getting to know their voices and that when they come to see the baby, the baby will probably turn in their direction because he/she already knows who they are. And that the baby is getting to know their touch, too. This sunk in with Alex because he has been rubbing my belly so much more and talking to the baby. It is so precious. The big day is approaching soon. I'll be 35 weeks on Thursday - 2 to 5 weeks left. Time is going by fast now - and as achy and tired as I feel - this is a good thing! I'll try to post pictures of the graduation ceremony tomorrow, check back!

Mother's Day Tea

Today I was treated to a Mother's Day Tea at Alex's preschool. The timing was perfect as Joe had the day off and was able to watch Jenna so that I could enjoy some time with just Alex. The table center pieces were "flower pots" (Styrofoam cups) painted by the kids with a "flower" in each one (a piece of paper with their picture on it). Alex's pot was painted his standard three colors- blue, red, and black. We enjoyed a tasty snack of fruit and cheese kabobs, cherry tarts (handmade by the kids that morning) and lemonade. Alex and I were glad that tea wasn't actually served because neither of us likes tea!! After snack the kids got up on stage and sang us three songs. The first song was about their love for their moms and the kids did sign language as they sang. Alex wasn't a loud singer this year and he was last year, but he knew all the motions to the songs and made eye contact with me quite a few times. I loved every minute of it. Then the moms were treated to gifts made by the kids - a family portrait on a plate. It nearly brought my emotional, hormonal, pregnant self to tears. Included in our family picture was Daddy, Mommy, Jenna, Alex, Lucky, and C.C. Every one wanted to know if Alex had included the baby in our picture. He didn't, and to that I was glad because I would have been mortified at how large he would have drawn my stomach!! Overall, it was a great time for the two of us. And now, Joe has taken the kids out to do some "secret shopping". We will celebrate my day tomorrow by doing some baby-readiness shopping followed by an ice-cream treat. Then on Sunday we are headed to Hardin to see Joe's parents before they are off on their month-long vacation to Japan and Hawaii. It should be a good weekend.

New Bike

One of the benefits of being a younger sibling is getting things earlier. Alex got his first bike for his 5th birthday. Not quite 4, and for no reason at all, Jenna has gotten her first bike. We thought it was time for her to have her own "big girl" bike and she loves it! Joe and I had the perfect opportunity to have a "Jenna Day". While Alex was at a birthday party, Joe and I took Jenna to Toys R Us and told her she could pick out a bike of her very own. She was thrilled! And though she could not get her dream bike, a Ben 10 bike, because it only came in big sizes, she is very happy with the bike she chose. Jenna still is having trouble starting up the bike, but as her legs get stronger she will do just fine. She is so happy to be just like Alex. And the good thing is, Alex is happy for her, too! (Mom, FYI, Alex's bike is 16" and Jenna's bike is 12").

Funny Alex

I love some of the things that come out of that boy's mouth. It's those moments that I want to capture forever. Here are two of my latest favorites... Alex: Mom, why are we the only yard that has all the pretty yellow flowers? Me: We are just lucky I guess. (Yes, he was speaking of dandelions!!) As my stomach continues to EXPAND, I have given the kids a new job - helping me off the couch or out of bed. They get a kick out of it! One day as I was getting out of the computer chair Alex looks over at me and says "Mom, is that big belly of yours weighing you down like a boulder?" I love him!

Single Digit Countdown

I am now 31 weeks, heading into my 32nd week. This is good. It means the baby can come as early as in 6 weeks!! Yikes! Daunting as that seems, it will be so nice not dealing with the hip pain, the numerous nightly trips to the bathroom, the swelling of my hands and feet every morning and every night. It is time to start preparing for our little one. One thing I think I will miss is Alex and Jenna running to give me a hug only to bounce their little heads off my belly - it's pretty funny watching them!! I think Jenna will miss using the baby as a pillow, even if she does get kicked every now and then. Only good times are ahead for us. I am looking forward to them!!

Going Green

In light of the whole "Green" movement and yesterday's celebration of Earth Day, I really want to think of different changes we can make in our lives to help the environment. I know we are doing our bit now, but I didn't realize how much we actually already do until I did some research and watched some "green" shows. It makes me feel good knowing that simple things we do everyday are already helping our planet. We, of course, recycle. It is one of the easiest things I think anybody can do. And growing up with the recycling nazi, aka my mom, it comes as second nature. One of Alex and Jenna's chores is to put the recycling in the bin. Joe made a change a year ago and one that I was resistant to at first, but now, it's just part of our life. We compost. We have a stainless steel pail that sits on our kitchen counter with a bio-degradable bag as a liner and all our eligible kitchen food waste goes in. We can easily fill a bag in less than two days with apple skins and cores, banana peels, egg shells, veggie cuttings, etc. And when the kids and I go on picnic lunches, we bring our compost home. Joe finally received his compost tumbler for his birthday and it is a hit with the kids. They love giving it a roll to mix the compost. This compost is then used in the garden where Joe and the kids grow a good part of our produce for the summer (yet another eco-friendly job on our part). We have replaced about 90% of the light bulbs in our house with compact florescent lighting. We have installed a programmable thermostat and have energy efficient appliances. We do not use water bottles. Our latest adventure is our purchase of BPA-free baby bottles. I found a wonderful site on-line called Green to Grow and have decided to go with these bottles. I'm sure there is more that we already do and there is so much more that we can do. I'm not saying I'm going 100% green. I really don't think I can do cloth diapers and paper towels are really, really handy with little kids. And a mini-van is pretty essential if we want our family of five (all in car seats of some kind) to travel together. I would buy a hybrid in an instant if they made one as the gas guzzling beast we currently own makes me cringe every time I fill it up - not only for the effects on my wallet but to the environment as well. However, where I can make changes I will try. I think my next step will be transitioning to reusable shopping bags. Of course, this means I have to think of another source for kitty litter garbage bags and bathroom garbage can liners!! But these changes give me some peace knowing that I am trying to make this planet better for my kids. And, that I am teaching my kids to waste less and reuse more.

First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

We had our ultrasound yesterday. Everything looks great with the baby! The baby was moving around a lot but we were able to see him/her yawn and swallow. We saw the heart beating - a nice strong beat. We saw the baby's big belly, to match mommy's! And we saw his/her leg. Oh, we did see some arm movements too! The baby is a bit on the big side, already weighing over 3 lbs. The size of the baby would move my due date up by a week to June 19th, but my doctor is not going to officially move it because she is just expecting a baby around 8 lbs or so. But the best part was seeing the baby's face in 3D! This wasn't available to us when we had Alex and Jenna. I didn't understand the image at first and was the last one in the room to get it. In my defense, the image was not nearly as clear as those you see in commercials or on TV. The baby was not giving a good shot of his/her face, so the image is not solid. But when I did understand what I was looking at, I instantly thought the baby looked just like Joe. After a couple of more pictures, Joe and I both agreed that the baby looks a lot more like Jenna than Alex. So of course, I am picturing a blond-haired, blue-eyed girl. But I told Joe that it would be funny if it turns out to be a brown-haired, brown-eyed boy with features like Jenna's - the perfect combination of Joe and I!! Ten weeks and counting!! My excitement builds every day! Oh, and I have laid down the law regarding names and told Joe he has until May 1st to complete his list. I have narrowed my list down to my top three choices for each gender, which Joe agrees with. So, I can rest just a bit easier now. We don't know if we will share the names or not. That just may be surprise too!

Earthquake

Did you feel it this morning at 4:37am? We did!! It is the first earthquake that Joe and I have experienced and it was weird! We woke up at the same time and I asked Joe "why is our bed shaking?" We lay there for a second or two, and though neither one of said anything we were both thinking it was the cats that were causing it. But really, two cats could not produce that kind of shaking! Joe jumped out of bed (and told me later the floor was shaking too) to look for the cause and that is when I heard Alex saying "what is shaking my bed?" Alex later told us he thought Jenna was throwing a tantrum (she's on the bottom bunk and he's on top). Then he thought it was Joe giving him a back rub. When those two didn't pan out, that's when he asked why his bed was shaking. Joe told him it was nothing and to go back to sleep. But we knew it something! Logic told us it was an earthquake, but hey, we live in Illinois not California, so it didn't make sense - especially coming out of deep sleep. We thought a big truck driving in front of the house - no truck noise. We thought wind - absolute stillness outside. We thought foundation slipping - nah. Joe went on-line and came back a few minutes later to confirm that it was, indeed, an earthquake. It was hard to go back to sleep but we finally did. When we woke up for the day we told Alex he had felt an earthquake. In his little life he has experienced a tornado (two years ago) and now an earthquake. While both of these events have happened in Jenna's lifetime also, she doesn't remember the tornado and slept right through the earthquake. Joe felt the after-shock this morning around 10:15am or so. Jenna and I were in the car and didn't feel it. Alex was at preschool and also did not feel it. I have to say, it was a weird crazy feeling; frightening only in the respect that it jarred us awake and we had no clue what was going on. Mother Nature - she keeps us on our toes!

The Park

We took advantage of the beautiful weather we are having and went to the Rochester Park today after story time at the library. It is amazing to see what a difference a year makes in the kid's play at the park. Alex was able to do the monkey bars all by himself. He fearlessly went down the fire pole, no help needed. And for the first time ever, my heart did not skip a beat when I saw him leaping from rock to rock on the big boulders. I was confident in his ability and did not envision him missing the next rock and breaking an arm or gashing his head open. My little Jenna was quite fearless also, taking on every net climbing device the park had and succeeding at every one. She still needed help with lots of things, but her determination to be just like her brother made her try every thing he did. It's so nice to watch them run around together, deeply involved in whatever imaginary game they have chosen at that moment - Star Wars, Transformers, Ben 10, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was a good time. We are headed to the "baby doctor" in about an hour and today we get to see our baby on the T.V. again. (This is how the kids describe it). I'm hoping the baby doesn't spill the beans about it's gender - we've held off this long and with only 10 weeks to go, I don't want the surprise ruined. Hopefully the tech will be very careful and not let us see anything!! I'm getting very anxious to have our little one arrive. Not only because of the increasing aches and pains - but because I just want to see his/her face, touch his/her little fingers, and just have a baby in my arms again!! We really need to get on that name thing. Not having any idea of what we may name this child is starting to keep me up at night. Joe's girl names were less than acceptable and he knows it, so he is starting over. I fear we may end up with Snowmanny Jedi if we don't get a move on it!!

I Passed!

This morning I had my glucose test. I have been really nervous about this test because my mom had gestational diabetes with my sister. My mom was the same age I am now. And since I seem to follow my mom's medical past, I thought for sure I would fail the test. But I passed. The number had to be lower than 135 and I was at 115. However, I was quite surprised to find out that I am anemic. Obviously I have realized that I have been much more tired with this pregnancy, but I chalked that up to being pregnant and taking care of two little kids. Heck, just taking care of Alex and Jenna alone can tire me out! But I never really thought anything of it. I have been given a prescription for an iron pill and must remain on it through the rest of my pregnancy. My doctor told me I should start feeling much better soon. It would be nice to feel more energized. Maybe I can actually start doing something around the house again!! I have an ultrasound in two weeks and my due date has been officially moved up to June 26th. I am almost 28 weeks pregnant, into my third trimester, with 12 weeks left!!! I have already picked picture outfits and coming home outfits for each gender. With my little pile, it looks like we are having twins!! We are no where close to picking names. I guess we should get a move on that. I don't want a repeat of last time with Joe flipping through the name book WHILE I am pushing the baby out!! Lucky for us Jenna was a girl and we had had her name picked out for quite some time!

Three Things

1 - Update on Lucky: OK, so I said that I wanted it to be an infection so that I didn't feel like all that money was wasted if we had to put him down. Well, it turns out that Lucky does just have some sort of infection. Now I feel like we spent $245 just to find out he is sick! All of my prenatal care, nine months worth, which includes doctor visits, sonograms, blood work, costs us only $50!! Crazy! Anyway, we did find out that Lucky is boarder line diabetic. When we took him to the vet the first time (which cost $123) we knew he had a weight issue. Lucky's weight issue turns out to be an obese issue. He was put on a special diet food and lost 1/2 lbs in two weeks. He has 4 1/2 lbs to go. He is currently on an antibiotic, which I have to go and pick up another bottle because he needs a double dose due to his weight. Isn't it sad that I have not yet missed one of Lucky's doses of medicine but can't even count how many of Alex's doses I missed? 2 - Poop Wars: Jenna has been peeing on the potty since she turned three. She has not worn pull-ups at nap time for months. Now, she is pull-up free at night, too, and has been for about a month. All great, right? Wrong. Jenna still refuses to poop in the potty. We are now at the point where she will sit on the potty to go, but still must have a pull-up on in order to actually poop. Last week, we were on a count down. When the pull-ups were gone, she would start pooping in the potty. The day came when the pull-ups were all gone and she had a hysterical melt-down. I had kept one hidden just in case this would happen. She won and pooped in the pull-up. We then had to make a trip to the store to buy more. I went to the largest boxes, the ones with 50+ pull-ups and asked Jenna if I should just buy the biggest size they had since she would still be pooping in a pull-up when she was 18. Yes, a mom-of-the-year moment, especially in a store where I was probably overheard. But, really, can any mom out there blame me? I have tried positive reinforcement - a treat out of the treat box every time she poops in the potty. I have tried punishment - 10 cars taken away every time she uses a pull-up. Now, I am just going to play up the case that when she is four, there are no more pull-ups. Four year olds do NOT wear pull-ups. I'm hoping four months of hearing this will sink in and work. It did for peeing in the potty. Stay tuned as the Poop Wars rage on. 3 - A mother's dedication. Alex has been wanting his army sheets back on his bed. Now, last time I made his bed (he has the top bunk)I told Joe that I couldn't do it again. But feeling guilty over my lack of maintaining my household, I thought I would get up and do something while Joe was giving the kids a bath. The sheets, I thought. So, I lugged my huge seven-months pregnant belly (and it is huge, by the way) up the ladder, stripped his old bedding and began the task of putting on new sheets. This involves several steps of standing on the ladder and lifting the mattress. Then crawling on the bed and lifting the other half of the mattress, while still on the bed. Another trip back down the ladder to get the flat sheet, more maneuvering to get it spread out. More standing on the ladder to tuck in. More laying on the bed while trying to lift the mattress to tuck in the back side. By the time I was done, I was sweating and completely exhausted. Joe came in to find me sprawled on Alex's bed, not able to move. I told him I was just relaxing for a moment. He came back five minutes later, only to find me in the same spot. The thought of moving my legs over the bed to get on the ladder was just too much for me. And I still had to put on the blanket and replace all 100 stuffed animals (maybe not that many but enough to form a two-layer perimeter around his bed). I managed somehow to get back down the ladder. Told the kids to get up on the bed and just threw all the animals up to them. Then, I looked at Joe and said, really this is the LAST time I am doing this! Will I try it again, probably. I just hope Joe can rig up some type of crane to get me back down off the bed again!!

Mom-of-the-Year

So when I really botch up parenting I tell Joe that I am going to get Mom-of-the-Year award. It's just my way of acknowledging that I have messed up. So, my latest is awarded to me for failure to remember that Alex is on an antibiotic and it must be taken three times a day!! It was easy to remember when he was really sick, just laying on the couch, not eating, burning up and just plain miserable. Well, now that he is better, it is so easy to forget!!! I'm pretty good with the morning dose, horrible with the afternoon dose and hit or miss on the evening dose. I wonder what long-term damage I may be doing? If nothing else, I guess he will get sick again real soon since I can't seem to keep him on a steady dose!! In other news, sickness abounds me!! Although Alex is much better, Jenna and Joe both have bad colds. I swear, pregnancy is the best immunity! And our latest possible illness is our cat Lucky. I had to take him in this morning because he has been lethargic, not eating, not going to the bathroom, drooling, and just not himself. Turns out he has a very high temperature and may have some type of infection. Or he may have organ failure. Only the blood tests will tell. If he is in some type of organ failure, then we will put him down. But before we can find out all this, I had to spend $245 on him today!! The price of pets!!! At this point, I'm hoping for an infection so I don't feel like I just wasted all that money - sounds ungrateful I know but hey, I'm not made of money!! Let's hope that I can remember Lucky's medicine, which is in the fridge, next to Alex's medicine. Hmm, maybe I should separate them!

Easter

We had a nice quiet Easter here at home. The kids woke up at 6:30am, as usual, and yelled with delight when they found their baskets brimming with goodies. It took me awhile to actually get out of bed, so I missed the dissection of their baskets, but Jenna kept running back to my bedroom informing me of what she got. Her highlight was the big blue duck that she has wanted for weeks. She was saving up her money to buy it herself, but the Easter Bunny beat her to it. Alex was excited about his Leapster game that he really wanted. After a quick egg hunt, in which Alex found all 29 of his eggs in less than five minutes, he settled on the couch and played his Leapster most of the day. We let him as he was not feeling well. He had had a fever for the previous 3 days and was diagnosed with strep, but it turns out it wasn't. Regardless, Alex was weak and tired and not quite himself. In fact, he didn't even ask for a piece of his Easter candy until after lunch and at that, picked one small piece and that was it. Jenna, however, would have eaten nothing but candy all day if we let her. We stayed in our pjs all day and laughed at the crazy weather outside - sometimes raining, sometimes sleeting, sometimes big huge snowflakes, one small period of bright sunshine, followed by more rain/snow mix. Only in the Midwest I guess!! Overall, a good family day that we all enjoyed.

It Happened!

I have been trying for the last two weeks to get Alex and Jenna to feel the baby move. But it is easier said than done. The baby seems to know when anyone else's hand is on my belly. The baby can be doing an Irish jig and the minute I grab Joe, Alex, or Jenna's hand and place it on my stomach all movement comes to a stop. Now, if I were to lay my own hand on my stomach the baby would continue to jump and jive. So, I tried having the kids just keep their hands on my stomach, but they have no patience and give up easily. But today that changed for Alex. We were just finishing up reading our books before quiet time when the baby sprang into action. I grabbed Alex's hand and quickly put it on my stomach right before the baby gave a good, hard kick. Alex's mouth dropped open. His eyes widened and he shouted "I felt it! I felt the baby! He's really in there!" Priceless. So, Jenna came over and said she wanted to feel, too. But, of course, all movement ceased. The baby made some little squirms and Jenna said she felt them, but I really don't think she did. I think she just wanted to be like Alex. Poor girly. Her day will come and I look forward to seeing her face light up and say "I felt her!" Yes, we are back to Jenna wanting a little sister. Alex has said only a baby boy will be allowed in the house. Three more months until we find out!

Preschool

Yay!! Jenna got into Washington Park preschool! She is enrolled in the morning 3-year old class. We are putting her into the 3-year old class because she will also be held back from entering kindergarten until she is 6-years old. She will be going to school Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Jenna is very excited and cannot wait to start!!

Retiring Ballerina

I'm glad I took these pictures back in February (right before Valentine's Day, which explains the heart on Jenna's check) because my little ballerina has called it quits. I have been struggling with Jenna about going to ballet class for a few weeks now and this morning she decided she has had enough. Could it be because it is the only girly activity she is in? Who knows. Jenna told me this morning "I love Mrs. Grace. I just don't want to go to ballet class anymore." So for now, our dancing days are over. Maybe one day we will head back.

Not an Ordinary Day

When I woke up this morning, I didn't want to open my eyes. I have known this day would come. I have not looked forward to this day. I have known that I would have to go through the motions of an ordinary day. Six months ago, I made dentist appointments for today, knowing that while I should be busy I would not be. So, after opening my eyes, I began my not so ordinary day in an ordinary way. I fixed breakfast for the kids and myself, watched some morning news, got all of us ready, and left for our dentist appointments. Filling out the paper work, I had to write this date down over and over, each time acting as a reminder of what today should have been. Today should have been the day I had my third baby. Or maybe I would have already had my baby and today I would be holding that precious bundle in my arms. Today, my arms ache for that baby. You see, this baby that is now growing so wonderfully inside of me is not our first attempt at having a third child. We were pregnant once before. And I have kept silent about that baby, only telling the closest of family members and friends. I suffered through morning sickness and fatigue once before, back in the summer. I had made it through Alex and Jenna's birthday without letting on. Joe and I have always waited until after our first doctor's appointment before sharing the news. But this time, I wouldn't make it to that first doctor's appointment. At almost eight weeks, I started to bleed. Days later we would learn that our baby, a baby that Joe had wanted so badly and took over a year to convince me to try for, had no heartbeat. We had lost our little one far, far too early and on July 26, 2007 the pregnancy was over. It was an extremely difficult time for me. I went through so many emotions and at times couldn't understand why I felt such grief for someone I never knew. I will never know if that baby was a boy or girl. I will never know if that baby looked like Alex or like Jenna. I will never hear that baby's laugh or gaze into that baby's eyes. But in every sense I had lost a baby, a child of mine. As a mother, it has been the hardest emotion to deal with. I grieved. I mourned. I wanted to let everyone know that, for me, that child existed. I wanted to acknowledge that that baby was a part of me, and always will be. But it is a difficult topic to talk about. And only those who have gone through such a loss can understand. I am talking about it now because there is no reason to keep it hidden. And because I will never get through another March 4th without thinking about that baby, just like I will never get through another July 26th without feeling sadness for our loss. But what is helping, what is getting me through this day, is the movement - the LIFE - that is inside of me now. This current pregnancy has been different for me. I was filled with fear for the first eight weeks. At my first appointment, while answering tons of questions all I wanted to do was scream at them to let me see my baby's heartbeat. And when the time came, and I did see that tiny heart, I broke down crying - huge sobs of relief. But I have still been filled with anxiety. I know women who have lost their babies in their 5th month. I know women who have lost their babies as late as their 38th and 39th weeks of pregnancy. I know, now, that there are no guarantees. I take nothing for granted. I know that bad things can happen to me. I hope that they will not. I hope that at the end of June my arms will be filled with a beautiful, healthy baby. In the meantime, I will take whatever sickness, ache and/or pain comes my way. And I will know that the baby I lost, the one that made me realize how much I really did want another baby, the one that gave it's life for the life of the baby that grows inside me today, will always live in my heart and will never be forgotten.

The Name Game

Well, now at 22 weeks, I have decided that I am ready to start thinking about names for the baby. When we were picking out names for Alex and Jenna, a friend of ours had let us borrow a book. Rather than asking for the book back, again, we went out to Barnes and Noble and bought our own baby name book. I tried using the Internet, but nothing compares to sinking into the couch with a pen and paper and looking at all the names we could choose for our baby. So, I have made my first list for boys, which must be compared to Joe's list and then whittled down several times. I won't share any just yet as neither Joe nor I have fallen in love with any of the names. I am now working on my girl's names and although I am already on the "M"'s, the list is very short. Oh, and our decision to name our first two kids was not a conscious one based on our own initials. It just worked out that way, so don't expect an "A" or a "J" name. If it happens, it happens by chance and not on purpose. I'm not sure if Joe has begun his girl's list yet. But all this talk of baby names has sparked the interest of Alex and Jenna. They have arrived at their own lists and I am so very glad that the decision is NOT theirs. Alex's list is for boys only and include Darth Vader, Darth Maul, Darth Sidious, Jayden Core (his favorite character from a Star Wars computer game - I actually really do like Jayden and it is on my list, just not Core for a middle name), Emperor, Mace, and I think Yoda was mentioned also. Do you sense a Star Wars theme here? (Use the force!) Jenna's list was much smaller and in her mind, gender neutral. Her number one choice is Ben 10. Not just Ben, but Ben 10 - her current favorite obsession. Then she said Ariel for a girl or Eric for a boy (Little Mermaid), followed by Chad Vader. Have you seen these mini-movies on the Internet? They are totally inappropriate for my kids, but thanks to Dad on a Mom's night out, Alex and Jenna were introduced to Chad Vader and have fallen in love with them. Joe has told them they are not to repeat anything they hear on a Chad Vader movie - so that should tell you something. Anyway, I think you can see from their choices why I am glad that the kids are not choosing the baby's name. Then again, on Joe's list for boys is his traditional Scottish fave - Hamish. Hmm, will we ever get this baby named?

It's Official

Alex is now officially registered for kindergarten. The meeting was at the school last night and I wasn't prepared for it at all. I had believed it was an informational meeting, telling parents things they can do to get their child ready for kindergarten, and that the paper work would be handed out, but would be turned in during registration week in August. No. That wasn't the case. Some of the paper work had to be turned in that night. I had no phone numbers with me for doctors or emergency contacts. I hadn't really decided on half-day or full-day. I just wasn't ready for it all. Then, the meeting began and I was thrown by some of the information. The first blow hit me when they said school would begin around the 15th of August. That's the middle of August, not the end of August as I had it in my mind for school beginning. It hit me that I would NOT have a full summer with Alex this year. I would NOT have almost two full months after the baby is born to help Alex adjust to that huge life change before embarking on another. The second blow hit when they said that on the first day of school I am allowed to walk Alex to the door of the building but that they do NOT want parents coming into the building and taking their child to the classroom. I knew that day would come, but not the FIRST day. Pregnancy hormones don't help, as I felt the tears come to my eyes just thinking about Alex beginning the next phase of his life. A phase more and more independent of me. There is no more I can do now. I've already held him back, it's time for this next phase. It's just such a long day. He will be gone from 8:15am when I drop him off to 3:20pm when I pick him up. I just hope that I can prepare myself over the next 6 months for this change. I think a lot of tissue will be needed for that day.

Snow Play

Yay! I finally have access to some of my pictures again (computer died, long story, sore subject with Joe and his lack of progress in restoring my access to our pictures). ANYWAY, these are some pictures of us playing after our big snowfall in the beginning of February. We got a bit over 12 inches and took full advantage of it! Joe and I rediscovered how much fun it was to get in the snow!! Joe built the fort and I built the snowman. Where were the kids that were supposed to be helping us? Making snow angels, pulling down icicles, and waiting for us to finish so we could have a huge snowball fight. And, just to let you know, that is Joe's coat that I am wearing as my belly has outgrown my own winter coat. I was told, oh just wear one of your husbands coats, not a bad idea if your husband isn't a foot taller than you. Oh well, it got me out in the snow. I went back inside to start lunch before the kids started the snowball fight with Joe. At one point I looked out the window and saw Joe down on the ground with Jenna on top of his chest and Alex pounding snowballs at him. Poor guy. The day ended with the kids demolishing the fort in about 5 minutes. It was so much fun watching them taking running hits at it and then jumping up and down on the blocks of snow. I was supposed to have been cleaning inside that day. But who cares if the house went messy for another day if it meant I could make these memories with my family.

Stomach Flu update

OK, so I never got hit. I woke up Friday morning knowing that I had gotten a cold instead. Friday went well. No puking from anyone. Joe was back at work. Friday night, out of the blue, after one puke free day, Jenna wakes up at 10:30pm and projectile vomits four rounds - all over her bed, all over herself, all over me. Nasty. Saturday morning Joe is off to prompt care and spends the rest of the morning there. I clean up the previous night's aftermath, still feeling miserable with my cold. But, Jenna was back to normal. She just didn't want to eat and who could blame her. The rest of the family's stomachs are now returning to normal. Alex has caught my cold and is in the miserable stage, while I'm feeling better in that department. However, I have decided that my morning sickness has returned. What is making it worse now is this ever-so-active baby doing gymnastics! Not so much fun when you are feeling queasy and someone is doing somersaults in your stomach!! My only question, is there a way to safely douse your house in bleach?

Stomach Flu, Stomach Flu, How I Hate You!

The stomach flu has hit the Robeen household. Alex was the first victim and spent last Thursday night vomitting his entire dinner, afternoon snack, and part of his lunch (yep, in that order) up. I waited for Jenna to be struck next. Friday, Alex is better and the rest of us are fine. Saturday and Sunday pass, I am happy to think that it was only Alex. Monday, happiness gone, Alex gets hit AGAIN! This time the poor boy spent most of the day in the bathroom with it coming out the other end. It was the first time he has had this type of flu and he handled it well. By Tuesday he has recovered. Wednesday I wake up to find Joe lying on the bathroom floor. Next victim. He takes the day off of work. I throw up twice that morning, but decide it is pregnancy related (yes, I know. I am almost 20 weeks along!!!) Thursday, 1 AM, Jenna cries out and we don't reach her in time - vomit all over her bed. UGH!! She spends the rest of the day on the couch. Joe is better and heads back to work but I summon him home early because I feel horrible, I have more laundry than humanly possible to wash, especially when there is no laundry detergent, and poor Alex has been ignored all day. This morning, we all woke up feeling pretty good. I still have not officially gotten this stomach flu....yet. I think I have been feeling queasy and ill partly because of the pregnancy and partly because I think I'm going to get the flu, so I'm making myself feel ill. We have all been on the flu diet this week...gatorade, bananas, crackers, jell-o, sprite, chicken noodle soup. Today, I decided I was going to feel fine and eat like a normal person. So far, so good. Of course, because I have decided that I am fine and not sick, I'll probably wake up in the middle of the night with the stomach flu.