{Me}...as a Mom

What I Learned this Halloween...

2010-11-04T14:34:00.004-05:00

This past Halloween has taught me so much. I normally try to make my kids Halloween costumes. Why? Well, prior to this past weekend, because in all honesty, I thought it made me a better mom. How ignorant my thinking has been. Owen was easy. He wanted to be Buzz Lightyear. I knew I wasn't going to make that costume. He's two, he won't mind a store bought one. Done. Easy. Jenna wanted to be a cat. Another no brainer. Half store bought, half home embellished. Done. She loved it. I am Mom, hear me roar. Alex, well, here is the back story on Alex. Alex loves Halloween for the load of candy it brings. But Alex has never been one to dress up. He never played dress when he was younger. He doesn't like things to be "different" - silly sock days, he feels embarrassed to wear two different socks; mixed up day - you would think we asked him to chop off an arm by asking him to wear his clothes inside out; you get the point? He doesn't like masks or things about his head. So, he took his time thinking about what he wanted to be. It's as if dressing up at Halloween causes him physical pain. But Alex finally decided on a mummy. Great! Easy!! No problem. I gathered my supplies. I spent a morning cutting strips from a white bed sheet and coffee staining them to get that great dirty mummy color. All I had to do was wrap him. I even had the forethought to get some double-sided fabric tape to help the strips stick. Saturday Oct 30th comes. We have a Halloween costume party at Alex's friend's house. We begin to wrap and realize that as he moves, the wrap falls apart. We try again and again. We get safety pins. No luck. What are we doing wrong? It is one hour later and we are now late for the party. We decide to go with what we have and we will change him shortly after we get to the party. But no, Alex can't even make it out the door without the costume falling apart. Remember, Alex doesn't like to dress up so we have no alternative costumes on hand. Realizing he has no costume for a costume party, Alex breaks down. I normally try to hold back my tears when my kids are hurting. I want to show them a strong face. But this time, as I held him, I let the tears flow. I had let him down. I felt like a huge failure. We dried our tears and went to the party. Luckily, some of the other kids didn't dress up either. Alex had a blast and I was happy for him. But after getting them to bed that night, I was still thinking about how I could make this mummy costume work. I stayed up until 2am putting it together and it looked great! Despite being exhausted, and now sick with a terrible cold, I was happy to have gotten it done and couldn't wait for Alex to wake up in the morning. Well, despite the fact that I allowed for room in the wraps for Alex's body, the awesome looking costume did not fit him. I busted seams trying to make it work, but to no end was his body fitting in the costume. Another huge failure! The only thing we could do was to run out and buy him a costume for trick or treating. Let me tell you, with a picky child, there is little to choose from on Halloween morning. Alex didn't want the ninja, ghostbuster, cowboy, army solider, or mario costumes. Forget anything remotely ghostly or scary - so not Alex. But after 3 stores he finally found something he wanted; a blue penguin. Now, we hesitated with this. We tried to talk him out of it. Joe said that if Alex were going out with his friends he would be laughed at (said to me, not to Alex). But Alex insisted. When we put it on Alex, his face kind of fell. He looked uncomfortable to me and, again, my heart broke because I felt like all of this was my fault. I quickly thought up 2 other costumes he could wear. But Alex said he was going to be the penguin. So, we all got ready, we snapped our pictures, and off we went to take the kids trick or treating. By the 3rd house, Joe and I looked at how happy our kids were, how much fun they were having, and we knew that the penguin costume was perfect for Alex. I wish I could have enjoyed that night more. But I was tired, I was sick, I was emotionally spent. And it was while I watched my kids running from house to house that I realized that it is OK to just go to the store and buy a Halloween costume. What matters most, is that my kids get to be what they want to be, that they have fun, and that I don't have the weight of the world on my shoulders trying to be the "perfect" mom. Because being the "perfect" mom results in me being stressed, grumpy, mean, and totally missing the fun of the moment. I learned that I am not Martha Stewart. I am not a woman who can do everything...cook, sew, craft, organize. After 8 years of being a mom, I have finally learned that I cannot do everything and do it well. It was a lesson I learned through tears on my part and on the part of my oldest son. It was a lesson I learned with a broken heart. But finally the lesson has been learned and I will embrace not being perfect.

Remember me?

2009-11-05T08:44:00.002-06:00

I used to actually blog with some regularity. Now, it seems like a thing of the past along with scrapbooking, downtime, and sanity among other things! And as I sit down to type, thinking I may have just a moment, my little man has found me and how he hates seeing me at the computer. He knows it means I won't pay attention to him. So, he resorts to destruction to pull me away from his dreaded enemy...yes, I hear it beginning now. He is rummaging behind me, looking for something to destroy. Better go for now before it gets bad. Maybe I'll try again when he is asleep, if I don't fall asleep with him!

Friday, last full day at the beach

2009-06-26T20:22:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday Owen!!! We had so much fun celebrating Owen's first birthday at the beach. It was a rough start for Owen. He woke up around 5:30am, cranky and crying. It took two bottles to finally get him back to sleep around 6:30am. By then, the other two were up but they were playing quietly, so I slept in until 7am. I made everyone breakfast - and the birthday boy and Joe finally woke around 8am. After we ate, it was time to open presents! Alex got Owen a stuffed frog. Jenna got Owen a car. Mom and Dad got Owen a toy remote control, which he did not want to let go of all day! Heather got Owen clippos and they were a huge hit with all three kids! Some green stuff fell out of Heather's card, too! Due to our celebrations, we had a late start to the beach. But, wow, what a day!! The waves were out of control!! They were huge and powerful and we had a blast. Joe, the daredevil, went way out and let the waves crash over his head. Me, well, I was more cautious and when the break reached my shoulders I called it quits and headed for land. Alex and Jenna had so much fun sitting further inland and letting the waves push them ashore. I tried it once and what a ride! Owen had another great day in the waves and playing in the sand. He looks so cute walking down the beach. We hit the pool on our way back to the condo for a quick dip and then up for lunch. After lunch we sang to Owen, though I forgot the candle...bad Mommy! I made Owen froggy cupcakes and he did a number on one!!! He is destructive by nature, and he unleashed his wrath on this poor cupcake! More of it went through his tiny fists than actually got in his mouth! It was a great time! After a short nap, the kids wanted to go back to the pool. Owen and I headed to the beach for a short walk. We saw a small crab and Owen loved chasing it. Owen really wanted to go in the water but it was really low tide and the sand was really soft, I just kept sinking. I didn't go out as far as he wanted and he was getting angry! Luckily, Joe and the kids joined us on the beach and Joe took Owen out further for his "wave fix". We played in the water a bit longer but the wind really picked up and the sand started to blow, which does not feel nice at all. We ran for the condo and as we were getting in a storm blew in. It was actually nice to watch a storm out at ocean. It blew over soon and now it is nice again. I'd like to get on the balcony for one more night, but I'm trying to get us all packed up. How fast the week went by!!! It has been a great vacation for all of us and I am so happy we did this. Now, if only I can remember this feeling 3 hours into our trip back home, 6 hours in, 9 hours in....15 hours driving time alone - then count in the potty breaks, the food breaks, the gas breaks - they never all line up! We'll be home Sunday. Until then...

Thursday at the Beach

2009-06-25T21:57:00.002-05:00

Yet another great day here at Myrtle Beach! We spent the morning down at the beach where Owen decided that today was the day he would just plunge into the ocean and stick his face in the water! He also enjoyed playing in the wet sand. He would gather handfuls and try to throw them, however, throwing for Owen means dropping them behind him, or in this case, on top of his head. Luckily, his hat caught most of the mess! Alex caught a minnow and was very proud of himself. He went running up the beach to show Joe, who was making sandcastles with Jenna. We were yelling at him to put the fish back into the water, I think he made it...at least, I hope he did. Owen took a nice siesta on the beach and I held him while I sat with my beach chair in the water's edge...bliss! Afterwards we took a dip in the pool. Alex is getting really good in the water and Jenna and I had a great game of "shark and diver" where she was the shark trying to get me, the diver. We came back up for some lunch and then got ready to go shopping. The kids had been given money by family members and were eager to spend it. We went to this really nice shopping area that resembled a coastal town, complete with boardwalks and water. Owen was treated to his first ice-cream and the "more" sign was in full force after his first bite! Back to the condo for dinner and then bed. Tonight was the first night I did not sit on the balcony and listen to the ocean. Instead, I was busy in the kitchen making cupcakes for Owen's first birthday tomorrow!! I cannot believe that my baby will be turning one year old. We have a few small presents for him and plan to spend the day on the beach, our last full day here.

Wednesday at the Beach

2009-06-24T21:47:00.002-05:00

This morning we saw a pod of dolphins playing in the ocean!! It was amazing! At first we saw three sets of two dolphins, one set coming shortly behind the other. The second set played in front of our building for a bit, jumping out of the ocean so we could get a good look. I was able to capture bits of them on camera but it was difficult to do. After the third set swam out of our view Joe noticed more further out in the ocean. It appears that the six we saw were like scouts while the rest of the pod stayed further back. It was great and I am so glad that I finally saw some sea life!! Our morning consisted of some time on the beach, where we were finally able to build a sand castle without Owen destroying it. Owen actually got into the ocean today, wave jumping with Joe. Joe would put Owen into the water and then pick him up as the wave came in. Owen was full of laughs with that! Joe, Jenna, and Alex saw a stingray in the water, too. Before coming back up to the condo we stopped at the pool for a quick swim. Owen and I didn't last long as the water was too cold for Owen. So, we headed up and let the others swim a bit longer. Owen took a nice long nap and after lunch the older two eventually crashed also. I had some time to myself on the beach today thanks to Joe. It was great. I took my chair and a magazine and sat at the waters edge just soaking up the sun and the beauty of the ocean. We all had dinner on the balcony and decided to take a stroll on the beach afterwards. I thought this would be a perfect time for my envisioned photo session on the beach. Well, what I envision and what my reality is are two different things. I got the kids dressed, we found a nice empty spot, took maybe one or two pictures with a fussy Owen and then the batteries died. Joe ran up to get new batteries, the kids got wet, Owen got into the sand, and somehow our nice empty spot on the beach became a football field. Joe got back, Owen was no longer in the mood for any type of pictures, and the kids just wanted to play in the water. Well, we did the best we could and I haven't looked at any of the pictures yet, but I hope I got a few decent shots. I don't think I have any good ones of the three kids together. Oh well. We came back for some dessert, I put Owen to bed and when it got dark, Joe headed to the beach with Alex and Jenna for some crab hunting! They caught one and spotted a few more. They had lots of fun and Joe got about 3 minutes of it on tape. Well, I am being summoned by my little man. Another great day at the beach!

Tuesday at the Beach

2009-06-23T21:09:00.002-05:00

Today was a much better morning for me. I was up early with my boys and enjoyed a nice breakfast with them while Joe and Jenna slept in. Of course, I didn't get to see anything cool like dolphins or sharks, but I had fun with the boys anyway. We hit the beach about 9am and actually remembered to bring the camera this time. The kids went right into the ocean even though it was a bit chilly this morning. And of course, they collected tons of shells. Jenna has added some seaweed to her collection also. Owen was a bit scared of the sand and water this morning. He didn't want any of it touching his toes but he certainly wanted to be out in the waves! He loves watching them roll in and crash against my legs. He laughs as I squeal and say another one is coming for us! Finally, he decided to get down in the sand and I tried to build a sand castle with him. Well, Owen the Destroyer likes me to make a castle so that he can quickly knock it down. He went exploring and likes the tall grass along the beach. Owen took a nice nap on the beach and I didn't end up with a baby outline tan as I had thought while I held him! We came back in around 11am for an early lunch, showered and headed out to Ripley's Aquarium. The kids really enjoyed it and so did we! There was one part where we stood on a moving floor and went through a glass tunnel so that the fish and sharks were swimming overhead as well as on both sides of us. Owen was in awe! His face was priceless. Alex and Jenna were amazed at all the sharks. Afterwards we headed out for some seafood - well, I had salad and non-water living food. The kids ate their weight in crab legs and Joe ate his weight in all the seafood they had to offer, he was in heaven. With full bellies, we headed back to our beach home. Everyone is sleeping now, ready for another full day at the beach tomorrow, with some added pool time at Jenna's request.

Myrtle Beach

2009-06-22T21:40:00.002-05:00

So, I have to play catch up since this is the first time I have had a chance to blog. Prepare for a long post! Friday June 19 - So, things never go the way you plan, even if you plan well. We were supposed to have gotten on the road by 4am. Life lesson #1 - we are never on the road when we say we will be. We headed out the door at 5am and learned life lesson #2 - just because you pull your kids out of bed in the early morning, they do not go back to sleep. We started our journey and my plan was to drive until 8am when we would stop for breakfast. Life lesson #3 - I am not an out-the-door-on-the-road type of person. I need to eat within 30 minutes of waking, so I was very sick and on the verge of puking, so we had to stop earlier for breakfast. That started the non-stop potty breaks that Jenna required. Needless to say, it was a long day spent traveling. We all had a great time going through the mountains. We went through two tunnels, through the mountains, and Alex and Jenna thought that was just the coolest thing ever. The kids, for the most part, traveled well. Our last minute decision to buy a dual screen DVD player really paid off! We finally stopped for the night at 7pm (eastern time) and ended up in a less than stellar hotel. It looked great from the outside, the lobby was nice, the room horrible! Owen found a pot pipe and glass jar in the drawer and his feet were filthy from walking on the floor. It was late, the kids were tired, against our better judgement we stay but I made sure discounts were given. Saturday June 20- It was another full day of traveling. As we got closer we ran into Myrtle Beach tourist traffic and spent a long time going a short distance. But we arrived at our condo around 5pm. And it is so worth the long drive!! This place is beautiful!! Our balcony looks out right onto the ocean. We hear the waves from our bedroom. It is a short walk to the beach - like down the elevator and a minute to the sand. The condo is beautifully decorated and has the comforts of home. As much as we wanted to hit the beach, we had to get some dinner and do our grocery shopping. We ate at a great deli and then headed to Walmart. Wow! What an experience that was! I don't even want to know what that place would look like if a hurricane were on the way, but I think we got a glimpse of what if could be like. I have never been to a store that packed before and so picked over. It was all tourists stocking up for the week. Grapes were gone, cheese was gone, small containers of ketchup and mustard gone. The shelves were empty! We gathered what we could and headed back to the condo. It was a late night and we just all headed to bed. Sunday June 21 - Our first beach day!!! We were up early, had breakfast on the balcony, changed into our swimsuits, lotioned up and headed to the beach. Alex and Jenna charged right in and took to jumping the waves like pros. They had two boogie boards here at the condo - the way Jenna was on it, she looked like she belonged on the other ocean!! Owen, well, it took my baby some time to come around. He didn't like the feel of the sand on his feet. He hated the water. But he loved watching the waves. After some time, he was willing to put his feet down but if a wave got to close we had to pick him up. After he got braver, he started exploring more. However, as he was walking back up the beach to me he stepped on a shell and cut his foot. It isn't bad, it doesn't hurt him, but it bothered me all the same. I kept him out of the sand for the rest of the day. We headed back up to the condo for a snack and decided to just stay in until lunch. Well, Alex and Jenna don't really spend much time indoors. They love the balconies and spend all their time out on them. We had lunch on the balcony, had some quiet time and then went down to the pool. We didn't stay too long because the ocean was calling the kids! Back to the beach for some more wave jumping and shell collecting. Back up to the condo for baths, dinner and a movie - we watched E.T. and then to bed. Joe and I like to spent some time on the balcony watching the waves and listening to the ocean after we put the kids down. Monday June 22 - Today I woke up sick, very sick. I was in bed all day with a severe headache and nasty stomach. I don't even remember how many times I threw up. It sucks being sick and listening to the waves and wanting so badly to go to the beach! Joe was a huge help and took all three kids down to the beach for the morning so I could rest. They had a great time and saw lots of wild life. In the early morning they saw dolphins swimming in the ocean from the balcony as well as a school fish and larger fish, maybe even small sharks, eating the school! They saw crabs and little bugs of some sort when they went down to the beach and of course, they came back with lots of shells. Lunch on the balcony with Dad, quiet time on the balcony while Owen napped with me in bed. Then the older two and Joe headed down to the beach again. I was feeling much better and planned on bringing Owen down to meet them, but discovered we were out of formula so back to the dreaded Walmart to get some. It wasn't as bad today and we made it back in time to head to the beach. This place is great because it is next to a preserve so the beach is less crowded and a bit of a further walk down and you feel like you have your own private beach. Today I got into the ocean and jumped the waves, first by myself and then with Jenna. Alex and Jenna built castles and we stayed to watch them be destroyed by the high tide. Owen is loving the water now and is getting into the shell collecting thing too. Of course, he loves to pick them up and put them straight into his mouth! Dinner on the balcony, baths and then to bed. I love being able to type while sitting on the balcony and listening to the waves. It's too dark to see them now, but the sound is so relaxing. Time to go to bed.

Owen Update

2009-05-18T20:22:00.003-05:00

We have a walker!! Owen took his first steps a couple of weeks ago and has been perfecting his technique ever since. He prefers walking over crawling and will crawl to the nearest object to pull himself up. We love watching the pride on his face as he walks towards us. Of course, with his new found skill, we are entering the bumps and bruises phase of life with a baby. It doesn't help having older siblings who chase after him or come running around corners and take him out. Owen has also cut another tooth bringing his total up to 7 and is working on two molars. He is waving bye-bye and says ba ba for bye-bye and for baby. He signs "more" and "all done" and has mastered the art of shaking his head no!! Owen loves clapping and is realizing that he can make us laugh. Tonight he entertained us with a new dance and just kept going because of our reaction. He is still horribly attached to me but when I think of Alex finishing up his first year of school in just a couple of weeks, I relish it and know that it will all go by too quickly!

Jenna Update

2009-05-18T20:13:00.003-05:00

Jenna participated in a gymnastics recital earlier this month. She had so much fun and loves her ribbons and medal that she received! Last week we learned that her coach would like to put her on the pre-team track at the gym. Today, we signed her up. Over the summer Jenna will spend two hours in the gym a week. She will begin working on the larger equipment more. During the next year, they will work with Jenna to move her up to a level four, which is the standing that is required to begin competing. Jenna will be able to begin competing when she is six years old. Right now Jenna is very excited about all of this. We will continue to follow this as long as she is having fun. Of course, all this happening today coincided with her first injury. I was awed at watching her hold a perfect hand stand today for a good amount of time, then watched as she crashed over and quickly grabbed her foot. I noticed her rubbing her little toe on her left foot. She sat for a bit, then jumped right up and went back to work. After class she told me she hurt her toe. I told her I saw it and asked if it still hurt. She said a little. We went to the park, where she jumped and ran and climbed all afternoon with her friends. After getting Alex from school, we finally came home and she took her shoes off. She said she hated her shoes because they hurt her toe. When I looked at her toe I could not believe what I saw...red, purple nasty bruise the entire length of her toe and wrapped around the backside. It isn't broke, not after everything she did that day, but it looks terrible and I sit back and sigh and think this may just be the beginning of many more injuries.

Alex Update

2009-05-18T20:01:00.002-05:00

The first picture is on Mother's Day. Alex lost one of his front teeth. OK, he pulled it a bit prematurely as there was too much blood involved for my liking. Luckily he did do this because it was a great cover for one of our biggest parent blunders to date...the tooth fairy forgot! Here is the story - Mother's Day was great. I spent a quiet day with my family which is just what I wanted to do. We spent the afternoon outside enjoying the weather but I was silently being attacked by nasty allergens. During Owen's bath my hands broke out in a very painful allergic reaction. I took some benadryl knowing that it would knock me out for the rest of the night, but needing it because my hands hurt so bad. Before I passed out I reminded my back-up tooth fairy of his job. Well, he was side-lined by Jenna later that night due to nightmares, leg pain, something along those lines, so the tooth fairy never came. UGH! After much doubt in the tooth fairy's existence, Joe reassured Alex that the tooth fairy would come that night. That is was actually Alex who messed the tooth fairy up. See, she had Alex on the schedule for that night, but Alex threw her off by pulling the tooth out early and she could not possibly squeeze him in. Sold, story worked, tooth fairy came, all was good!! Three days later the other front tooth came out and the tooth fairy was on time!! We love his gappy grin!!

Overheard

2009-03-16T14:51:00.002-05:00

A conversation between Alex and Jenna- Jenna: Alex, we're best friends, right? Alex: Yup. Jenna: And our fun will never end, right Alex? Alex: Never.

Family Bingo Night

2009-01-31T21:44:00.002-06:00

Last night was Family Bingo Night at Alex's school. It was to be a night of family fun - dinner (hot dogs and popcorn), bingo, and raffle prizes. It turned out to be a disaster!! It started out rather chaotic, but once we were settled in our seats and Owen adjusted to the huge crowd of people, I thought it would be fine. The bingo caller was really fast and Joe and I had to keep an eye on our own cards, completely help Jenna, and double-check Alex's card. Oh, yeah, I was also feeding Owen his dinner at the time, too! Alex came close to bingo several times but just when he thought for sure he would win, we were told to clear our cards. He also wasn't winning any of the raffle prizes and was starting to get discouraged. Well, several games into it and Jenna gets a bingo. We cheer for her and Joe takes her up to pick out a prize. Alex slumps further into his seat. Joe and I are both one number from getting a bingo and tell Alex if either of us win, he can have our prize. Well, neither of us win. Alex does not get a prize. I see the storm clouds coming. Alex fights back the tears as he is at his school, after all, sitting next to his best friend, no doubt, who insists on talking to Alex, unaware of the inner turmoil that Alex is in. We pack up and head home. I know it is going to be bad when we walk in the house. And then it happens. I try to talk to Alex, to explain that it is very hard to win when that many people are playing (at least 100) and that we were very lucky that at least one person in our family won. He huffs and puffs with his back to me, arms failing at me anytime I try to touch him. So, I ask him to talk to me, to tell me how he is feeling. More huffs and puffs. So, I tell him he doesn't need to talk. I tell him how I can't fix it for him but that I could certainly hold him and hug him. And with that, I see his back heaving and hear the sobs getting louder. I pick him up and just hold him and let him cry. I feel horrible. I want to fix it. I want to make it better. But, really, I can't fix it. I can't make him win something. Buying him something won't fix it, either, it just puts a band-aid on the situation and makes him dependent on retail therapy. So, I just hold him and know that this is just a life lesson that he has to learn. When Alex calms down we explain to him that he is going to have to lose many times in life before he will win but that just makes winning that much better. We tell him it is hard to understand but it is something he must accept. The thing is, it seems like Jenna is the one that always wins in situations like this. The girl is just lucky. And while I am so happy for her, I feel so bad for Alex. Growing up is not easy. Parenting a child through these lessons I have already learned is even harder because sometimes we can't make it better and sometimes we should not make it better and that is what is hardest for me.

Owen at 6 months

2009-01-15T16:52:00.001-06:00

More Owen pics

2009-01-15T16:49:00.001-06:00

Owen Pictures

2009-01-15T16:39:00.002-06:00

It's been too long since I've lasted blogged. My bad, but where to find the time?! I'll keep it short and simple - Owen is now 6 months old and still a pure delight! We've battled some nasty stomach bugs, but overall Owen is doing great. He is now rolling from his back to his front and vice-verse. He has mastered an adorable scoot on his bottom that he uses to move himself forward and when on his tummy he can spin around and move backwards. Owen weighs 21 lbs 2 oz and is 27 1/2 inches long. The pictures of Owen are from November 2008, December 2008, and January 2009.

Historical for me...not for my kids

2008-11-05T13:12:00.002-06:00

Last night was history in the making for millions of Americans. Joe and I watched the poll returns all night. The moment Senator Obama was declared the next President of the United States is one I will never forget. The feeling I had, that many across the country had, is best summed up in Obama's slogan - YES WE CAN!!!!! I felt as if I were living in a movie minute when the country has united in a victory - like in Armageddon after the asteroid has been blown up or in Independence Day when the aliens have been defeated. Some of the most important values I want to teach my kids are to accept differences and treat everyone equally. I know that everyone has their prejudices and too many people stereotype. I live my life ignoring stereotypes and try to not pass judgement on others. I say try, and I am sorry that I do have to try, because no one is perfect. I work on certain prejudices that may creep into my life, and for the most part, I truly believe I am accepting of everyone. Joe and I have tried to expose our kids to all walks of life, so that they do not look down at others, so that differences that do exist are just that differences but not inequalities or disabilities. That no one is better than anyone else because they make more money, they have a certain color of skin, they are in a "normal" relationship. And while having an African-American President is a huge deal for me, for Joe, for most of this country, it will not be a big deal for my kids and that is a GOOD thing!! I am hoping that for the next eight years, when the President comes on TV, my kids will see Obama before them and think nothing of the fact that he is African-American. I hope that this is a step towards erasing racial divides in our country. I hope that President Obama is just the first of many "minorities" that will lead our country during my kids' lives. For my kids, the thrill of this victory is not that Obama is African-American, but that mommy once worked with this great man. For me, it is that I truly believe our country will now be in the right hands. And that while all the problems will not be solved overnight, our country is headed in the right direction. Today, I am proud to be an American.

Owen and Dolly

2008-10-28T14:17:00.002-05:00

As I mentioned in the previous post, the night of the Jack O'Lantern Spooktacular was cold so we needed to bundle Owen up. It was the first time he wore his winter coverall. When we put him in the van Jenna took one look at him and said he looked like Dolly (Jenna's lovey for the past 3 1/2 years). When I looked at Owen again, I just laughed because he really did resemble Dolly. We had to capture that!

Celebrating Fall

2008-10-28T13:47:00.004-05:00

As usual, we have been quite busy this fall season with all our festivals and parties. Joe and I usually love this time of year and look forward to all of our traditions, but I will admit, it has been a bit more trying with a new baby in tow! Owen has been a trooper with this mad family he has been born into!! We have already been to the Indian Summer Festival (which was very hot!), the Jack O'Lantern Spooktacular (which was very cold!), the Great Pumpkin Patch (which was very windy!), Where are the Wild Things at the Illinois State Museum, and our play group Halloween party (which was very loud!). And just for good measure we threw in a trip to the St. Louis Zoo. We did miss one Halloween party due to illness and still have a couple more Halloween celebrations to go before the actual event of trick-or-treating, not to mention carving our pumpkins! The Jack O'Lantern Spooktacular was a first for us this year and it was wonderful!! It is held at the Washington Park Botanical Gardens and it is an amazing walk through 2008 lit Jack O'Lanterns! The number will increase every year as the number of pumpkins matches the year. Jenna's preschool class craved a pumpkin for the event, but in all honesty we could not find it amongst the other 2007 pumpkins but we had so much fun looking for it! Despite getting to the pumpkin patch later in the month we were still able to pick our own pumpkins from the patch. This is always a fun time watching the kids critique every pumpkin they find wondering if the next one they find might be better. Normally our pumpkins reflect our position in the family - Joe's is the biggest, then mine, then Alex's, then Jenna's, and Owen's would be the smallest this year. But Alex threw that out the window this year and got the biggest pumpkin! He can lift bigger pumpkins so why not go with the biggest?! Halloween costumes were much easier this year. Alex is a pirate and is wearing a costume he already had but we did buy him a new sword and Jenna is finally the ghost she has always wanted to be! As for Owen, we have slimmed him down by putting a skeleton onesie on him...it glows in the dark!! While we have enjoyed our busy season Joe and I have decided to ease up a bit during the Holiday season, stay home more and really just take in our incredible kids - to have fun with them, to play with them, to make great memories with them!

Funny Jenna

2008-10-07T13:44:00.002-05:00

On the way to preschool this morning Jenna informed me that Owen was "slobbering milk." This is Alex and Jenna's way of telling me that Owen has spit up. I cannot see Owen when we are in the car because he is rear-facing and we have yet to find a system of mirrors that allow me to see him. Anyway, it doesn't really matter because no one can reach Owen; I'm driving, Owen is in the middle row, and the two older ones are in the back row. As usual, I thank Jenna for letting me know and say, as I always do, that I will clean Owen up when we get to where we are going. Jenna then says, "Never mind, Mom. Owen is getting it. He is scooping the milk back into his mouth with his hands." Then there is a pause, I assume she is watching this process, and then I hear "Mom, that is sooo gross!" Never a dull moment in our lives!

9 Years

2008-10-02T13:52:00.004-05:00

Nine years ago today I married my best friend, my soul mate. In a day when marriages easily fail, I cannot imagine not being married to Joe for the rest of my life. While we have a long way to go before we are old and gray, we think of the day when we will sit in our rocking chairs on our wrap-around porch (a house we don't own yet) on a beautiful Fall morning (our favorite season) drinking our coffee, still holding hands, waiting for our kids and grand kids to come for a visit. Our nine years together have gone by quickly. Together we have purchased one car, one house, gone on three big vacations, and have brought into this world three absolutely amazing kids. We have endured sad times together and, yes, we have had our share of arguments but always is the love, respect, and admiration for/of each other. So, how will we celebrate these last nine years? Will we hire a sitter and go out for a fancy dinner? We will go see a movie? We will go out for a coffee afterwards? Nope. We will celebrate it the best way we can think of - small, quiet, and cozy here at home with the kids. I'm making one of Joe's favorite meals and then after we put the kids to bed we plan on cuddling on the couch and watching the VP debate relishing in the fact that we both love the simplicity of life and still love each other's company. Happy Anniversary Joe...I love you!!

A Week in the Life

2008-09-30T13:53:00.002-05:00

My, my! It's been quite some time. I'm not sure if it's I haven't really had anything to say or that I haven't really had time. Some of both I guess. Well, I am embarking upon a new project this week - documenting my life for a whole week. It is a scrapbooking project taught by Ali Edwards. Even though I may not lead the most exciting life, I think it will be a fun project to look back on in 5, 10, even 20 years from now. The project entails carrying your camera with you everywhere and taking pictures of your everyday life. Along with the pictures, you carry a notebook with you also and jot down thoughts, funny things said, what you did, etc. For this project, I did not do a whole house cleaning so my house looks good in the photos. I want to capture the chaos I live in day in and day out. Clutter is part of my life right now, so why not document it? I am also hoping that getting pictures of myself will motivate me to start shedding those baby pounds! **I will have to finish later, Owen has woke up from his nap and needs to be fed!!**

Hello Preschool!

2008-09-02T13:16:00.003-05:00

Today was Jenna's first day of preschool. As we were driving to her school, I was second guessing my decision to put her into the school that I did. Jenna kept talking about Alex's last preschool, the preschool she knew, the preschool she was comfortable with. I was upset with myself for basing my decision on what was convenient and easiest for me and not thinking about where Jenna would be most comfortable. Even though Alex spent a year at this preschool, also, Jenna was only two years old and really has no memory of it, or so I thought. But when we went inside, she knew where to go to hang up her back pack and she walked right to the boys bathroom, where we went with Alex, so I knew she had at least a vague memory of the place. After redirecting her to the girls bathroom, my apprehension eased a bit. We knew Jenna was a bit scared, but she was also very excited to finally be going to school just like Alex. We walked her into her classroom, gave our hugs and kisses and walked out. And I was fine. No tears, no second-thoughts, no fears that she was going to have a horrible time. It is nicer this way. It is easier this way. I think it is because I have now been through this with Alex and I know the school. I know the teachers. I know the program. I am comfortable with it all. The two and half hours flew by and before I knew it, I was unsticking the "magic glue" from Jenna with a tap of my hand on her head and she was back in my arms - all smiles and telling me that she had so much fun! I decided a special treat was in order and after some time running down the hill, we went for some ice-cream. Yes, it was lunch time, but some days deserve ice-cream for lunch and this was definitely one of them. When we sat down to eat Jenna said, "OK, now let me tell you about my day." I heard about the boy in the green shirt with the stripe and the number 3 that she played with. I heard about applesauce and milk for snack. I heard about criss-cross applesauce while listening to Polar Bear, Polar Bear. I heard about the trucks and big mountain she played with and about how she wanted to play with the baby dolls but that area was always really crowded. I heard about the girl in her class that cried and cried because she wanted her mommy and how Jenna did NOT cry. And I heard about her favorite part of the day, playing outside and how she climbed on top of the monkey bars. I am so proud and so very happy for Jenna to have something of her own - to be able to see her become her own self, without the shadow of her big brother looming over her. I think she is going to have a great year! You go my girly girl!!

First Day of Kindergarten

2008-08-20T20:23:00.004-05:00

Wasn't it just days ago when I first held you in my arms and got lost in your eyes? Wasn't it just hours ago when you hit all your milestones - smiling, laughing, rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking? Wasn't it just minutes ago when I first had to let you go and walked you into your first preschool class? Where does the time go? I have been by your side for six years now and you have been by mine. And though we are still a team, and will always be, our time together is changing. You will be away from me for the better part of the day, continuing to grow into your own little person, venturing out and finding your place in the world. I will still guide you. I will still teach you. And I will love watching you continue to grow, just as I have loved watching you over the last six years. And I am so happy that we survived this day - me, choking back the tears as I gave you that hug and kiss good-bye and watched you walk through the doors of the school; you, having so much fun on your first day with recess ("we had three recesses today Mom!!") being your favorite part. It will be a good year, buddy, and I am so happy for you!

Quiet...Too Quiet

2008-08-14T15:19:00.002-05:00

Right now it is just me and my man, Owen. Alex and Jenna are at Grandma and Grandpa Robeen's. They left around 4pm yesterday and I still cannot adjust to the absolute quietness of the house (Owen is asleep). It is funny, but I do not like the quiet. I know at times I would do anything to have some peace around here, but now that I have it, I don't like it. It is eerie. It proves just how much my life is entwined with the kids...how my life is the kids. The send off was very hard for me. It was all just bad timing on our part. We had Joe's parents come after quiet time, in which Jenna fell asleep. Jenna has a hard time waking up, she needs extra care when she first wakes up, some cuddle time on the couch normally. So yesterday she awoke to me packing her clothes and toys in a suit case and it was just a bit much. She broke down crying - torn between really wanting to go and needing to stay home with me. It was hard, but my strong-willed girl worked through it and decided to go. As they pulled out of the drive way her eyes filled with tears and her lips quivered as she said "I love you." The minute they were out of eye shot, I started to cry. It was hard to let both of them go, especially under the circumstances. But just as we knew, Jenna was fine by the time they reached the end of our road. Joe and I sat on the couch looking at each other after the kids left trying to figure out what we did before we had kids, or what we did when we just had Alex. It was a quiet night...again that word...quiet.

My day today...

2008-08-07T00:17:00.003-05:00

Today was a shopping nightmare. I knew I was taking a risk by not putting the older two down for their quiet time. But Owen was diagnosed with eczema and I needed to change his baby wash, lotion, and detergent. So, the trip was necessary. And since we were out, I figured I'd start Alex's school shopping. Now, Owen does not like his car seat. He normally screams an entire car trip. Today started out well. No screaming. We get to the store, a smooth transition from car to inside and he remains asleep. The kids want a double cart so they don't have to walk and I agree knowing that Jenna will tire out. We make it to the baby section and I check out the creams and wash, but want to check the general section before I decide what to get. So, off to school supplies. Just as we are getting the list out, Owen wakes up and starts screaming. He NEEDS to be out of his seat. But I cannot push the huge double cart with one hand. So, I tell the other two to sit tight and we are off to the front of the store to switch carts, with Owen screaming the whole time. We make the switch and head to the back of the store again. On the way, we hit the cream/lotion section and I have to read all the labels and find nothing - I'll have to head back to the baby section for that. But we need other things in that area, so let's keep shopping...oh, yeah, Owen is in one arm and my other arm is supposed to push the cart and hold his pacifier in his mouth...tricky, but somehow we manage. I find the huge sized laundry detergent and lug it into the cart with one hand. Then onto the huge sized paper-towels and toilet paper - here I put the kids to work and they become the other four arms every mother needs. By this time, Owen has made it clear that he does not want to be lying down in my arm but up on my shoulder. Even though he has good head control, he's still at the age where two arms are really needed to hold him....hmm, my one arm left now has how many jobs? So, I put my chin to work and hold onto his shoulder with it, while pushing the shopping cart with my other hand. OK, back to school supplies. Really, how many packs of markers, crayons and bottles of glue does one child need - today, we purchased 8 total and we are still not done! The bright side, Alex and Jenna had fun running around trying to find everything we needed. When we couldn't find anything else on the list, it was time to head back to the baby department to get the wash and lotion. To get to said location we would have to pass the toy department. Really, my left arm is now numb from lugging Owen's 12 lbs around, my neck is sore from acting like another arm and I am starting to break a sweat. I just want to finish the trip and get home. I agree to two aisles only and have to repeat myself only 20 times that we were not at the store to buy toys. We leave the toy department (with muffled comments, most likely regarding what a horrible mother I am and how unfair life can be), head to the baby department, and then I realize I forgot the coffee. I cannot leave the store without purchasing more coffee, how am I to cope tomorrow if I don't get more coffee. The coffee is on the other side of the store, so off we go and we might as well stop by the kids artsy stuff to see if we can find the crayons that were out in the school supply section. Knowing that I was going to need two arms to check-out, I ease Owen back into his car seat. At this time, Alex and Jenna pounce on the sides of the cart, adding 90 lbs that I must push around. Get coffee and head to check out lanes, finally!! Start putting our stuff up and Owen stirs and starts screaming. Let me just say that my boy is loud, very loud, like everyone anywhere near you staring at you loud. We get the stuff unloaded, I hand over my coupons and the poor check out guy picks up his phone - I give him a pleading look while fumbling with my one hand to find my wallet in my huge diaper bag - apparently at Target, you are only allowed so many coupons at one time without manager approval. Thankfully the guy hangs up his phone and says he's going to save me five minutes and just scan all the coupons. Really, I think he just wants Owen out of the store. I load the stuff back into the cart and with the little sanity I have left head for the door when I hear a little voice say "Mommy, I have to go potty". Really. Is this really happening? Knowing Jenna would not make it home I head to the restrooms. Alex pipes in that he also has to go, so I throw them both into the family bathroom and tell them to hurry. Owen is a screaming, sweaty mess and it really seems like his head is about to explode, he is that red. Alex slowly opens the door, sticks his head out and tells me that Jenna is pooping...yes, it got that much better. Now, I am required to go in and wipe her, with Owen ready to pop. And let me tell you, the bathroom really is a great amplifier for a screaming infant. Owen goes back into his carseat, the screaming escalates, I didn't know that it could. We finish in there, open the door to an audience - I'm sure the whole store could hear Owen by now. It is feeding time. Their is no way I'm going to make it home. So, we head to the Starbuck's in the store, find a seat and I fix Owen his bottle. While feeding him, I somehow manage to find my wallet, go up to the counter, purchase two cookies and a bottle of water for Alex and Jenna. At least I now had time to relax and there was some quiet. In this quiet moment I overhear two women at the table next to me talking about a friend of theirs who is expecting. This woman has decided to stay at home with her baby and one woman says to the other, "she is going to be bored out of her mind." How was your day?

Remembering...

2008-07-26T11:31:00.002-05:00

One year ago today we lost our little angel. Not having a definitive medical answer for four days, but knowing in my heart what was happening will probably stay with me forever. The weeks afterwards of comprehending the loss and grieving are still fresh in my mind. But the pain is fading. The loss greatly impacted my pregnancy with Owen. Even in the last few weeks of my pregnancy, I feared I would lose the baby. I cannot put into words the overwhelming relief that showered me when Owen was put into my arms and I heard him crying. My baby was alive, my baby was healthy. The birth of all my children will be moments that I will never forget. But Owen's birth will always hold that much more for me. I will always remember and I will always love the one I lost.

Happy Birthday!

2008-07-22T14:10:00.003-05:00

OK, so I'm late in posting...but my arms are rarely empty these days! We had a big week last week! Alex and Jenna celebrated their birthdays! It is hard to believe that Alex is now 6 and even harder for me to grasp is that Jenna is 4!! We had a small celebration with just the 5 of us on their actual birthday. First thing in the morning the kids dove into their pile of presents from us, Owen, and each other. Then, Joe took Alex and Jenna to the water park during the day. Our day ended with dinner at Steak 'N Shake (the kid's latest favorite restaurant). Their party was held on the 19th at Chuck E. Cheese. The theme this year was split between Ben 10 for Jenna and Transformers for Alex. I decided to make life easy for myself this year and ordered cakes - which turned out great!! The kids had a great time and as usual, it was Christmas in July! I'm still trying to figure out where to put all the new stuff!! Jenna received a nice mix of boy toys and girly things too! She makes a beautiful Snow White in her new dress from Grandma and Grandpa Robeen. Joe and I are getting a kick out of watching her care for her new baby from Auntie Marge and Uncle Manny, which she has named Sally. Jenna has mastered copying me and the way I care for Owen, even holding Sally's bottle with her mouth like I do during those rare times when I could use three arms!! Alex was loaded down with Transformers, GI Joe's, and of course, Star Wars. He took much of his loot and headed up north with Banya and Papa for a week. I hope he is having fun. Jenna misses him so much already. We also fit in a doctor's visit this past week and I was so shocked at much they have grown over one year!! Alex gained 7 pounds and grew 3 inches. He is now 53 pounds and 47 inches tall. Jenna gained 8 pounds and also grew 3 inches. She is now 40 pounds and is 40 inches tall. And let's not forget our "little" bruiser, Owen, who is now tipping the scales at 10 pounds 9 ounces and is 22 1/2 inches long. What can I say, we have some solid, sturdy kids!! Alex received his shots for kindergarten and he did so great!! He cried with the 3rd and 4th shots and though I could only see his legs, I had to stifle my own tears...pregnancy hormones...as I flashed back to watching him get his first shots when he was a tiny baby. Where does the time go? Life is crazy with Owen thrown into the mix. But it is such a crazy GOOD!! I already cannot imagine life without him and am head-over-heels in love with him. The kids adore him and we are easing into this new life of ours. Joe is back at work. I'm mothering only 2 right now. The real test will come next week when Alex is thrown back into the mix. But he is so helpful. It will be good to have him home again. NOTE: check back next week as my tune might have changed completely and there may be a ticker counting down the days until he goes to school!!!

Web Nursery

2008-07-07T12:16:00.003-05:00

Owen's hospital picture can be viewed at http://www.our365.com/NewbornPortraits/BabyDetail.aspx?birthid=21f7080e-ab49-4d4f-84a9-a1131ab7f6d0&babyid=9292c61d-f47a-4549-9f3d-f56743758b62 Sorry for the long web address, I'm still trying to figure out how to link! Just copy and paste the address.

Baby's Here!!

2008-07-03T14:11:00.002-05:00

Our SON, Owen Reid, was born on June 26th at 8:52 am. He tipped the scales at 9 lbs, 5oz and was 22 inches long. As I mentioned in my last post, my doctor had a plan for my delivery. Well, little Owen had his own plan. I went into labor on my own around 2am on the 26th. Since I was supposed to check into the hospital around 5am, I decided to labor at home for as long as I could. My contractions started at 12minutes apart, then moved up to 10 minutes apart. At 8 minutes apart, around 3:30am, I decided to take a shower and get ready to go. Joe and I left for the hospital at 4:30am, when my contractions where 6 minutes apart. I was admitted shortly after 5am and by the time I was checked, about 6:30am, I was 5cm. I asked for my epidural then and received it around 7am, I think. I tried to rest, but really, how could I sleep!! I was waiting for my doctor to come and break my water around 8:30am. But around that time I was starting to get uncomfortable. I mentioned to Joe I was feeling lots of pressure and after experiencing three "pressure moments", I called for the nurse. She checked me and in a shocked tone informed me that I was completely dilated and the baby's head was right there. It was a frenzy of commotion after that. My doctor was paged and I was told to "breathe" through the contractions. My doctor arrived and tried to break my water, but she believes it had broken earlier. She went to change and the nurse prepped me for a practice push. I was half way through the push when I was told to stop because the baby's head was crowning. At this point, I was losing control and was yelling that I HAD to push, I NEEDED to push. But I struggled through it and when my doctor gave me the OK to push, I did and the baby's head popped right out. One more tiny push and the baby was out and we saw that we had a new baby BOY! I thought I was having a boy, but I was wrong with my other two, so I figured I was having a girl. Joe and I were very surprised!! Owen is a wonderful baby! He rarely fusses and sleeps all the time! So, who does he look like...he looks just like Owen!! He resembles both Alex and Jenna in different ways, but favors Jenna a bit more. Alex and Jenna are completely in love with him! Alex loves to hold him and help me feed him. Jenna likes picking out his clothes and getting his pacifier. She loves to "pet" him, as she calls it. We are adjusting well and hope that things continue to go as smoothly as they have been.

The Wait is Almost Over

2008-06-24T13:08:00.002-05:00

I had another doctor's appointment today to see if we could go ahead with my induction on the 26th...and we got the green light!! Although it has taken me four weeks to go from a one to a two, it was enough for my doctor to feel more comfortable about inducing me. The baby's head is still not engaged, but it is a bit further down. My doctor now feels, as I have for weeks, that the baby's face is pointing toward my stomach. This accounts for my incredibly SLOW progress and the intense back pain I have been feeling for the last couple of days. Due to this presentation of the baby, it will most likely mean that I will be facing a longer labor - longer than I should experience since this is my third baby. Really, I don't care. As long as I have my epidural, I will be in labor for as long as it takes!! By my doctor's estimates, though anything can happen, expect Baby Robeen to make his/her appearance late afternoon on the 26th!!!

Forgot the HAPPY News!!

2008-06-20T16:48:00.002-05:00

In my vast disappointment with my doctor's appointment I forgot to mention the extremely wonderful event that happened yesterday....Jenna pooped in the potty!! Now, if you have been following my blog, I have posted about the potty war before. Jenna has been "pee" trained since she was three. She no longer needs a pull-up at nap nor at night and hasn't used one for a long time. But the poop. Oh the poop! She has had an unexplainable fear of pooping in the potty. Nothing we did or said could change this fear. After trying rewards and punishment, we gave up and just let her poop in a pull-up, sitting on the potty. I began the when-you-are-four-there-are-no-more-pull-ups speech a couple of months ago. Well, for whatever reason, yesterday she decided that she was going to poop in the potty. I said, OK, thinking nothing would happen. But, she did it. And, boy, did we celebrate! She ran and told Alex. She called Daddy at work. And then the rewards...Jenna got a Ben 10 figure, that she has known has been in the house waiting for just this moment and she got all her "truckses" back that had been previously taken away (part of the punishment that did not work). She pooped two more times in the potty yesterday and has pooped three times in the potty today. Yes, extreme, but we think she is still getting used to it and doesn't release everything at one go. Regardless, we are so proud of her and more importantly she is so proud of herself and has declared herself an official big girl!! Way to go Jenna, you beat your fourth birthday deadline and we are so happy for you!!!

Yes, we are STILL waiting...

2008-06-19T18:50:00.004-05:00

After enduring three weeks of contractions and cramping, I am STILL at a loose one. This was my fourth exam with no change at all. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. So, the plan for now is to go back in for another exam on Tuesday morning to see if I am more favorable for my scheduled induction on Thursday, June 26th. It would be nice to go into labor on my own before then, but if that does not happen, then I am hoping that regardless of how my appointment goes on Tuesday the induction will happen on Thursday. The discomfort is starting to take it's toll on me and my family. I easily snap at the kids and have cried more than I really care too. I just told Joe tonight that I am starting to loose perspective on this because I am focusing more on just having the pregnancy over than meeting our new little baby. Stay tuned...who knows what will happen!

Still Waiting...

2008-06-10T13:39:00.002-05:00

No baby yet. We are still waiting. Me, waiting not so patiently. I'm extremely uncomfortable. Enough said. My new theory is that this baby will be born on Friday the 13th, because really, who wants to have their baby born on Friday the 13th!! I told Joe that if it is a boy born on the 13th we will just have to name him Jason!! I have another doctor's appointment on the 12th. Hopefully all of these contractions I have been having will have made some change bringing me that much closer to meeting the little wriggly one in my belly!!

Pregnancy Brain at it's best

2008-06-03T13:04:00.002-05:00

So, today I pulled the all-time winning pregnancy brain move so far. This takes the cake for all the other pregnancy brain moves I have made from all my pregnancies. So, Alex and I had to go grocery shopping today (Jenna is spending time at Banya and Papa's...all by herself). When we left our house, it was cloudy but showing no signs of raining. As we get closer to Meijer, the end of the world is descending upon us and we drive right into a powerful thunderstorm. We pull into the parking lot and sit in the car a bit as we decide what we want to do - dash for the store and get soaked or just head home (at $4.00 a gallon of gas this wasn't really appealing to me). As we were sitting there was a slight lull in the storm and I said to Alex let's just go for it, it's only rain we'll dry off. So, as we open the doors I tell Alex not to lock them, that way we can get back into the car quickly if it is still raining. We take off, I do not go into labor while running to the store, and we proceed to shop. About one hour later, we are checked out and I go to get my keys. I cannot find them anywhere!! Then, it hits me, I left them in the car. I tell Alex we are locked out. He reminds me we didn't lock the doors. Now, I think we don't have a car anymore because someone stole it. As we head out, I see our car - relief. Alex opens my door and says "Yep, Mom they're here." I had left the keys IN the ignition with the doors unlocked!!! I'm lucky it was not stolen. Ahh, pregnancy brain at it's finest. I put Alex in charge of the keys the rest of the trip for his fee of $2.00!! So sad when your 5 year old is more responsible than you are!!

9 Months

2008-05-30T12:20:00.002-05:00

So, this is it - the final month. I am really, really hoping that I do not have to go all the way to my due date. Since this will be my third delivery and the fact that Jenna came two weeks early, my doctor thinks I have a pretty good chance of going earlier than my due date. I had my first weekly appointment yesterday and found out that I am dilated to a "loose" one and the baby is head down (my doctor felt the head). Of course, I could stay there for a couple of weeks or I could go into labor any day now. This is the part that is driving me crazy!! I hate not knowing when it will happen as I am such a planner. I took the kids for a bike ride today and half-way through it I thought I was going to throw myself into labor!! It is hot and sticky out, I swelled up like a balloon and what I have believed to be the baby moving (arching his/her back or stretching) are actually Braxton-Hicks contractions and I had a few of those! Joe is working on a project at work that is due today and he is the only one who can do it. All he asked last night was that I not go into labor today! I don't think he would have approved of my actions this morning! This afternoon I'm taking it easy and helping the kids make big brother/sister t-shirts that they can wear to the hospital. I have realized that there are two time frames in their minds - Before Big Belly and After Big Belly. I was a much more fun mom, apparently, in the time of Before Big Belly. This phrase often is associated with when we went to Disney. "Mom, do you remember when we went to Disney and you could do things because it was Before your Big Belly..." Ahh, nothing like the sweet honesty of kids.

Preschool Fieldtrip

2008-05-27T14:32:00.002-05:00

On May 22 we went on the end-of-the-year field trip with Alex's preschool. Our destination - the Children's Museum in Bloomington/Normal. Our mode of transportation - Amtrak. What a long, but fun day we had!! A group of almost 30 rode the train. The kids had so much fun! Although we have rode the Amtrak before, Jenna was just a baby and has no memory of it. So, this was quite a big deal for her. Joe took the day off and came with us. All the kids wanted to sit together and at one point I think we had 8 kids sitting in four seats! Visiting the snack car was a big treat. I opted not to walk much on the train. I am waddling enough on my own without the aid of a moving train! The museum was great! There are three floors of fun, exploration, and discovery to be had. Jenna and I lost Alex and Joe for most of the morning. The water table, lego table, and farm harvesting center were big hits for Jenna in the morning. Joe told me that he and Alex loved the giant sized chess set. We met with the group for lunch and the afternoon hit for Jenna was the wall painting where she was able to paint on glass. Then it was back down to the first floor where she discovered the train table and finally met up with Alex again where we played restaurant and grocery store. One final stop at the water table and our day at the museum was over. The train trip back wasn't as fun, but we were tired and had trouble finding seats. We all ended up in the observation car and Jenna and Alex played with friends until our arrival back in Springfield. We all had a good time and agreed it would be a trip we could do again. It was a bit sad as we parted with our friends as it most likely will be the last time we see them. With all the kids going to different schools next year, it will be hard to keep in touch. But now our summer has begun and our wait for baby is on!!

Graduation

2008-05-21T14:11:00.002-05:00

So, did I cry? You bet! It wasn't at the processional. It wasn't when Alex was awarded his "degree". It was at the very beginning with the slide show that introduced the graduating kids. A baby photo popped up first, followed by a recent picture of the child, and ended with a family photo. Of course, sappy music was playing in the background, the kind you dance with your mom or dad at your wedding. I got teary eyed when the slide show began and it wasn't even Alex on the screen yet. As the alphabet got closer to him, the tears just kept coming. I looked over at Joe, all embarrassed and cursed pregnancy hormones. He just gave me a reassuring look and said it was fine. Alex hugged me. Whew! That was hard to get over. I was fine through the songs sung by the kids. Then the kids had a surprise they had to go get. When I saw the first kid come through the doors with a pink carnation, I knew the water works would start again. And I saw my baby boy, now a five year old boy - a child, and no longer a baby - round the corner with my flower. He had a huge smile on his face and came up to me and gave me a huge hug and handed me the flower. I held on a bit longer than I should have and a bit tighter but when I let him go, I was fine again. The morning ended with the processional, the presentation of the degrees and then we had refreshments. Alex had a cupcake, a piece of cake, and a cookie. How could we say no, it was his big day! Jenna, now, she gave me some grief. We were going to stay with the class so that I could help out before the ceremony began, but she so badly wanted to do what the other kids were doing that I had to take her out. I felt bad for her. She wanted a hat. She wanted to sit on stage. She wanted to sing the songs. But once I removed her and gave her some one-on-one time, she was OK. Then when Joe showed up we made a big deal that she got to sit with Daddy. That appeased her enough. At one point she did tell me that when she went to preschool, Alex could NOT sit up front with her because it would be her special day! Afterwards we went to McDonald's (they are giving out Speed Racer toys, you know). Alex did find a surprise on his booster seat, an army bucket filled with a pack of WOW cards, Spiderman cards, and Star Wars cards along with a Hulk pen and a new toothbrush (he needed a new one, so why not just throw it in). Joe surprised both kids with baseball bats and balls. After quiet time we are headed outside to play some baseball. It's been a good day and Alex has felt special and knows that we are proud of him, what more can we ask for?

Big Changes Ahead

2008-05-20T14:52:00.002-05:00

It is hard for me to believe that tomorrow Alex "graduates" from preschool. He had a graduation ceremony last year but I was fine with it because I knew he was going to preschool for another year. But tomorrow, well, I think it will be hard for me. In just a few short months Alex will begin the next phase of his life - the school years. I am having a hard time thinking about him being away from me the whole day -not knowing what he is doing, who he is talking to, how he is behaving, what he is eating, wondering if he is having fun, wondering if he is getting in trouble, wondering if he fits in. It's a lot to deal with. And I know deep down that he will be just fine. I really think he is going to like school. He knows what is ahead. He knows he is going to go to school like Daddy goes to work (5 days of school, 2 days off). He knows he is going to eat lunch at school (just make sure you pack things I like, Mom). He knows he no longer has to have quiet time (the biggest highlight I think). Oh well, plenty of time to dwell on these thoughts in August. I just hope I'm not a huge emotional mess tomorrow. I was teary-eyed at the Big Brother/Big Sister class the kids went to at the hospital this past weekend. Alex and Jenna were so excited about the class. They learned about how things will be different when the baby comes home and that the baby will take up a lot of mom and dad's time. The nurse told the kids that it was alright to feel upset or angry about the baby sometimes. If they felt this way then they were to tell mom or dad that they needed some alone time with mom or with dad. When she said that, I flashed back to one of the hardest moments I had after Jenna came home. Alex woke up from his nap and called for me. I went into his room carrying Jenna. Alex's eyes teared up and he said in his little-just-turned-2-year-old voice "Baby down. Me, Mommy." I'm hoping we all transition smoothly. The class really helped them feel special and understand what is to come. We visited a maternity suite, so they know what the room will look like when they come to visit. They saw a newborn through the nursery window. They made pictures for the baby that the hospital staff will put on the baby's bassinet and they were able to wrap a present for the baby. Alex picked out a bib that said "I've got a great big brother" and Jenna picked out a stuffed animal. The kids then got a certificate and a bag filled with lots of neat things like books and crayons. Jenna thought the tiny baby diaper was so funny. Alex is now really excited about the baby. In class they mentioned how the baby is already getting to know their voices and that when they come to see the baby, the baby will probably turn in their direction because he/she already knows who they are. And that the baby is getting to know their touch, too. This sunk in with Alex because he has been rubbing my belly so much more and talking to the baby. It is so precious. The big day is approaching soon. I'll be 35 weeks on Thursday - 2 to 5 weeks left. Time is going by fast now - and as achy and tired as I feel - this is a good thing! I'll try to post pictures of the graduation ceremony tomorrow, check back!

Mother's Day Tea

2008-05-09T16:20:00.003-05:00

Today I was treated to a Mother's Day Tea at Alex's preschool. The timing was perfect as Joe had the day off and was able to watch Jenna so that I could enjoy some time with just Alex. The table center pieces were "flower pots" (Styrofoam cups) painted by the kids with a "flower" in each one (a piece of paper with their picture on it). Alex's pot was painted his standard three colors- blue, red, and black. We enjoyed a tasty snack of fruit and cheese kabobs, cherry tarts (handmade by the kids that morning) and lemonade. Alex and I were glad that tea wasn't actually served because neither of us likes tea!! After snack the kids got up on stage and sang us three songs. The first song was about their love for their moms and the kids did sign language as they sang. Alex wasn't a loud singer this year and he was last year, but he knew all the motions to the songs and made eye contact with me quite a few times. I loved every minute of it. Then the moms were treated to gifts made by the kids - a family portrait on a plate. It nearly brought my emotional, hormonal, pregnant self to tears. Included in our family picture was Daddy, Mommy, Jenna, Alex, Lucky, and C.C. Every one wanted to know if Alex had included the baby in our picture. He didn't, and to that I was glad because I would have been mortified at how large he would have drawn my stomach!! Overall, it was a great time for the two of us. And now, Joe has taken the kids out to do some "secret shopping". We will celebrate my day tomorrow by doing some baby-readiness shopping followed by an ice-cream treat. Then on Sunday we are headed to Hardin to see Joe's parents before they are off on their month-long vacation to Japan and Hawaii. It should be a good weekend.

New Bike

2008-05-09T16:10:00.002-05:00

One of the benefits of being a younger sibling is getting things earlier. Alex got his first bike for his 5th birthday. Not quite 4, and for no reason at all, Jenna has gotten her first bike. We thought it was time for her to have her own "big girl" bike and she loves it! Joe and I had the perfect opportunity to have a "Jenna Day". While Alex was at a birthday party, Joe and I took Jenna to Toys R Us and told her she could pick out a bike of her very own. She was thrilled! And though she could not get her dream bike, a Ben 10 bike, because it only came in big sizes, she is very happy with the bike she chose. Jenna still is having trouble starting up the bike, but as her legs get stronger she will do just fine. She is so happy to be just like Alex. And the good thing is, Alex is happy for her, too! (Mom, FYI, Alex's bike is 16" and Jenna's bike is 12").

Funny Alex

2008-05-01T12:41:00.003-05:00

I love some of the things that come out of that boy's mouth. It's those moments that I want to capture forever. Here are two of my latest favorites... Alex: Mom, why are we the only yard that has all the pretty yellow flowers? Me: We are just lucky I guess. (Yes, he was speaking of dandelions!!) As my stomach continues to EXPAND, I have given the kids a new job - helping me off the couch or out of bed. They get a kick out of it! One day as I was getting out of the computer chair Alex looks over at me and says "Mom, is that big belly of yours weighing you down like a boulder?" I love him!

Single Digit Countdown

2008-04-29T14:54:00.002-05:00

I am now 31 weeks, heading into my 32nd week. This is good. It means the baby can come as early as in 6 weeks!! Yikes! Daunting as that seems, it will be so nice not dealing with the hip pain, the numerous nightly trips to the bathroom, the swelling of my hands and feet every morning and every night. It is time to start preparing for our little one. One thing I think I will miss is Alex and Jenna running to give me a hug only to bounce their little heads off my belly - it's pretty funny watching them!! I think Jenna will miss using the baby as a pillow, even if she does get kicked every now and then. Only good times are ahead for us. I am looking forward to them!!

Going Green

2008-04-23T12:46:00.002-05:00

In light of the whole "Green" movement and yesterday's celebration of Earth Day, I really want to think of different changes we can make in our lives to help the environment. I know we are doing our bit now, but I didn't realize how much we actually already do until I did some research and watched some "green" shows. It makes me feel good knowing that simple things we do everyday are already helping our planet. We, of course, recycle. It is one of the easiest things I think anybody can do. And growing up with the recycling nazi, aka my mom, it comes as second nature. One of Alex and Jenna's chores is to put the recycling in the bin. Joe made a change a year ago and one that I was resistant to at first, but now, it's just part of our life. We compost. We have a stainless steel pail that sits on our kitchen counter with a bio-degradable bag as a liner and all our eligible kitchen food waste goes in. We can easily fill a bag in less than two days with apple skins and cores, banana peels, egg shells, veggie cuttings, etc. And when the kids and I go on picnic lunches, we bring our compost home. Joe finally received his compost tumbler for his birthday and it is a hit with the kids. They love giving it a roll to mix the compost. This compost is then used in the garden where Joe and the kids grow a good part of our produce for the summer (yet another eco-friendly job on our part). We have replaced about 90% of the light bulbs in our house with compact florescent lighting. We have installed a programmable thermostat and have energy efficient appliances. We do not use water bottles. Our latest adventure is our purchase of BPA-free baby bottles. I found a wonderful site on-line called Green to Grow and have decided to go with these bottles. I'm sure there is more that we already do and there is so much more that we can do. I'm not saying I'm going 100% green. I really don't think I can do cloth diapers and paper towels are really, really handy with little kids. And a mini-van is pretty essential if we want our family of five (all in car seats of some kind) to travel together. I would buy a hybrid in an instant if they made one as the gas guzzling beast we currently own makes me cringe every time I fill it up - not only for the effects on my wallet but to the environment as well. However, where I can make changes I will try. I think my next step will be transitioning to reusable shopping bags. Of course, this means I have to think of another source for kitty litter garbage bags and bathroom garbage can liners!! But these changes give me some peace knowing that I am trying to make this planet better for my kids. And, that I am teaching my kids to waste less and reuse more.

First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

2008-04-18T13:40:00.005-05:00

We had our ultrasound yesterday. Everything looks great with the baby! The baby was moving around a lot but we were able to see him/her yawn and swallow. We saw the heart beating - a nice strong beat. We saw the baby's big belly, to match mommy's! And we saw his/her leg. Oh, we did see some arm movements too! The baby is a bit on the big side, already weighing over 3 lbs. The size of the baby would move my due date up by a week to June 19th, but my doctor is not going to officially move it because she is just expecting a baby around 8 lbs or so. But the best part was seeing the baby's face in 3D! This wasn't available to us when we had Alex and Jenna. I didn't understand the image at first and was the last one in the room to get it. In my defense, the image was not nearly as clear as those you see in commercials or on TV. The baby was not giving a good shot of his/her face, so the image is not solid. But when I did understand what I was looking at, I instantly thought the baby looked just like Joe. After a couple of more pictures, Joe and I both agreed that the baby looks a lot more like Jenna than Alex. So of course, I am picturing a blond-haired, blue-eyed girl. But I told Joe that it would be funny if it turns out to be a brown-haired, brown-eyed boy with features like Jenna's - the perfect combination of Joe and I!! Ten weeks and counting!! My excitement builds every day! Oh, and I have laid down the law regarding names and told Joe he has until May 1st to complete his list. I have narrowed my list down to my top three choices for each gender, which Joe agrees with. So, I can rest just a bit easier now. We don't know if we will share the names or not. That just may be surprise too!

Earthquake

2008-04-18T13:22:00.002-05:00

Did you feel it this morning at 4:37am? We did!! It is the first earthquake that Joe and I have experienced and it was weird! We woke up at the same time and I asked Joe "why is our bed shaking?" We lay there for a second or two, and though neither one of said anything we were both thinking it was the cats that were causing it. But really, two cats could not produce that kind of shaking! Joe jumped out of bed (and told me later the floor was shaking too) to look for the cause and that is when I heard Alex saying "what is shaking my bed?" Alex later told us he thought Jenna was throwing a tantrum (she's on the bottom bunk and he's on top). Then he thought it was Joe giving him a back rub. When those two didn't pan out, that's when he asked why his bed was shaking. Joe told him it was nothing and to go back to sleep. But we knew it something! Logic told us it was an earthquake, but hey, we live in Illinois not California, so it didn't make sense - especially coming out of deep sleep. We thought a big truck driving in front of the house - no truck noise. We thought wind - absolute stillness outside. We thought foundation slipping - nah. Joe went on-line and came back a few minutes later to confirm that it was, indeed, an earthquake. It was hard to go back to sleep but we finally did. When we woke up for the day we told Alex he had felt an earthquake. In his little life he has experienced a tornado (two years ago) and now an earthquake. While both of these events have happened in Jenna's lifetime also, she doesn't remember the tornado and slept right through the earthquake. Joe felt the after-shock this morning around 10:15am or so. Jenna and I were in the car and didn't feel it. Alex was at preschool and also did not feel it. I have to say, it was a weird crazy feeling; frightening only in the respect that it jarred us awake and we had no clue what was going on. Mother Nature - she keeps us on our toes!

The Park

2008-04-17T14:03:00.002-05:00

We took advantage of the beautiful weather we are having and went to the Rochester Park today after story time at the library. It is amazing to see what a difference a year makes in the kid's play at the park. Alex was able to do the monkey bars all by himself. He fearlessly went down the fire pole, no help needed. And for the first time ever, my heart did not skip a beat when I saw him leaping from rock to rock on the big boulders. I was confident in his ability and did not envision him missing the next rock and breaking an arm or gashing his head open. My little Jenna was quite fearless also, taking on every net climbing device the park had and succeeding at every one. She still needed help with lots of things, but her determination to be just like her brother made her try every thing he did. It's so nice to watch them run around together, deeply involved in whatever imaginary game they have chosen at that moment - Star Wars, Transformers, Ben 10, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was a good time. We are headed to the "baby doctor" in about an hour and today we get to see our baby on the T.V. again. (This is how the kids describe it). I'm hoping the baby doesn't spill the beans about it's gender - we've held off this long and with only 10 weeks to go, I don't want the surprise ruined. Hopefully the tech will be very careful and not let us see anything!! I'm getting very anxious to have our little one arrive. Not only because of the increasing aches and pains - but because I just want to see his/her face, touch his/her little fingers, and just have a baby in my arms again!! We really need to get on that name thing. Not having any idea of what we may name this child is starting to keep me up at night. Joe's girl names were less than acceptable and he knows it, so he is starting over. I fear we may end up with Snowmanny Jedi if we don't get a move on it!!

I Passed!

2008-04-01T12:47:00.003-05:00

This morning I had my glucose test. I have been really nervous about this test because my mom had gestational diabetes with my sister. My mom was the same age I am now. And since I seem to follow my mom's medical past, I thought for sure I would fail the test. But I passed. The number had to be lower than 135 and I was at 115. However, I was quite surprised to find out that I am anemic. Obviously I have realized that I have been much more tired with this pregnancy, but I chalked that up to being pregnant and taking care of two little kids. Heck, just taking care of Alex and Jenna alone can tire me out! But I never really thought anything of it. I have been given a prescription for an iron pill and must remain on it through the rest of my pregnancy. My doctor told me I should start feeling much better soon. It would be nice to feel more energized. Maybe I can actually start doing something around the house again!! I have an ultrasound in two weeks and my due date has been officially moved up to June 26th. I am almost 28 weeks pregnant, into my third trimester, with 12 weeks left!!! I have already picked picture outfits and coming home outfits for each gender. With my little pile, it looks like we are having twins!! We are no where close to picking names. I guess we should get a move on that. I don't want a repeat of last time with Joe flipping through the name book WHILE I am pushing the baby out!! Lucky for us Jenna was a girl and we had had her name picked out for quite some time!

Three Things

2008-03-31T14:32:00.002-05:00

1 - Update on Lucky: OK, so I said that I wanted it to be an infection so that I didn't feel like all that money was wasted if we had to put him down. Well, it turns out that Lucky does just have some sort of infection. Now I feel like we spent $245 just to find out he is sick! All of my prenatal care, nine months worth, which includes doctor visits, sonograms, blood work, costs us only $50!! Crazy! Anyway, we did find out that Lucky is boarder line diabetic. When we took him to the vet the first time (which cost $123) we knew he had a weight issue. Lucky's weight issue turns out to be an obese issue. He was put on a special diet food and lost 1/2 lbs in two weeks. He has 4 1/2 lbs to go. He is currently on an antibiotic, which I have to go and pick up another bottle because he needs a double dose due to his weight. Isn't it sad that I have not yet missed one of Lucky's doses of medicine but can't even count how many of Alex's doses I missed? 2 - Poop Wars: Jenna has been peeing on the potty since she turned three. She has not worn pull-ups at nap time for months. Now, she is pull-up free at night, too, and has been for about a month. All great, right? Wrong. Jenna still refuses to poop in the potty. We are now at the point where she will sit on the potty to go, but still must have a pull-up on in order to actually poop. Last week, we were on a count down. When the pull-ups were gone, she would start pooping in the potty. The day came when the pull-ups were all gone and she had a hysterical melt-down. I had kept one hidden just in case this would happen. She won and pooped in the pull-up. We then had to make a trip to the store to buy more. I went to the largest boxes, the ones with 50+ pull-ups and asked Jenna if I should just buy the biggest size they had since she would still be pooping in a pull-up when she was 18. Yes, a mom-of-the-year moment, especially in a store where I was probably overheard. But, really, can any mom out there blame me? I have tried positive reinforcement - a treat out of the treat box every time she poops in the potty. I have tried punishment - 10 cars taken away every time she uses a pull-up. Now, I am just going to play up the case that when she is four, there are no more pull-ups. Four year olds do NOT wear pull-ups. I'm hoping four months of hearing this will sink in and work. It did for peeing in the potty. Stay tuned as the Poop Wars rage on. 3 - A mother's dedication. Alex has been wanting his army sheets back on his bed. Now, last time I made his bed (he has the top bunk)I told Joe that I couldn't do it again. But feeling guilty over my lack of maintaining my household, I thought I would get up and do something while Joe was giving the kids a bath. The sheets, I thought. So, I lugged my huge seven-months pregnant belly (and it is huge, by the way) up the ladder, stripped his old bedding and began the task of putting on new sheets. This involves several steps of standing on the ladder and lifting the mattress. Then crawling on the bed and lifting the other half of the mattress, while still on the bed. Another trip back down the ladder to get the flat sheet, more maneuvering to get it spread out. More standing on the ladder to tuck in. More laying on the bed while trying to lift the mattress to tuck in the back side. By the time I was done, I was sweating and completely exhausted. Joe came in to find me sprawled on Alex's bed, not able to move. I told him I was just relaxing for a moment. He came back five minutes later, only to find me in the same spot. The thought of moving my legs over the bed to get on the ladder was just too much for me. And I still had to put on the blanket and replace all 100 stuffed animals (maybe not that many but enough to form a two-layer perimeter around his bed). I managed somehow to get back down the ladder. Told the kids to get up on the bed and just threw all the animals up to them. Then, I looked at Joe and said, really this is the LAST time I am doing this! Will I try it again, probably. I just hope Joe can rig up some type of crane to get me back down off the bed again!!

Mom-of-the-Year

2008-03-29T11:21:00.002-05:00

So when I really botch up parenting I tell Joe that I am going to get Mom-of-the-Year award. It's just my way of acknowledging that I have messed up. So, my latest is awarded to me for failure to remember that Alex is on an antibiotic and it must be taken three times a day!! It was easy to remember when he was really sick, just laying on the couch, not eating, burning up and just plain miserable. Well, now that he is better, it is so easy to forget!!! I'm pretty good with the morning dose, horrible with the afternoon dose and hit or miss on the evening dose. I wonder what long-term damage I may be doing? If nothing else, I guess he will get sick again real soon since I can't seem to keep him on a steady dose!! In other news, sickness abounds me!! Although Alex is much better, Jenna and Joe both have bad colds. I swear, pregnancy is the best immunity! And our latest possible illness is our cat Lucky. I had to take him in this morning because he has been lethargic, not eating, not going to the bathroom, drooling, and just not himself. Turns out he has a very high temperature and may have some type of infection. Or he may have organ failure. Only the blood tests will tell. If he is in some type of organ failure, then we will put him down. But before we can find out all this, I had to spend $245 on him today!! The price of pets!!! At this point, I'm hoping for an infection so I don't feel like I just wasted all that money - sounds ungrateful I know but hey, I'm not made of money!! Let's hope that I can remember Lucky's medicine, which is in the fridge, next to Alex's medicine. Hmm, maybe I should separate them!

Easter

2008-03-25T15:18:00.005-05:00

We had a nice quiet Easter here at home. The kids woke up at 6:30am, as usual, and yelled with delight when they found their baskets brimming with goodies. It took me awhile to actually get out of bed, so I missed the dissection of their baskets, but Jenna kept running back to my bedroom informing me of what she got. Her highlight was the big blue duck that she has wanted for weeks. She was saving up her money to buy it herself, but the Easter Bunny beat her to it. Alex was excited about his Leapster game that he really wanted. After a quick egg hunt, in which Alex found all 29 of his eggs in less than five minutes, he settled on the couch and played his Leapster most of the day. We let him as he was not feeling well. He had had a fever for the previous 3 days and was diagnosed with strep, but it turns out it wasn't. Regardless, Alex was weak and tired and not quite himself. In fact, he didn't even ask for a piece of his Easter candy until after lunch and at that, picked one small piece and that was it. Jenna, however, would have eaten nothing but candy all day if we let her. We stayed in our pjs all day and laughed at the crazy weather outside - sometimes raining, sometimes sleeting, sometimes big huge snowflakes, one small period of bright sunshine, followed by more rain/snow mix. Only in the Midwest I guess!! Overall, a good family day that we all enjoyed.

It Happened!

2008-03-18T13:25:00.003-05:00

I have been trying for the last two weeks to get Alex and Jenna to feel the baby move. But it is easier said than done. The baby seems to know when anyone else's hand is on my belly. The baby can be doing an Irish jig and the minute I grab Joe, Alex, or Jenna's hand and place it on my stomach all movement comes to a stop. Now, if I were to lay my own hand on my stomach the baby would continue to jump and jive. So, I tried having the kids just keep their hands on my stomach, but they have no patience and give up easily. But today that changed for Alex. We were just finishing up reading our books before quiet time when the baby sprang into action. I grabbed Alex's hand and quickly put it on my stomach right before the baby gave a good, hard kick. Alex's mouth dropped open. His eyes widened and he shouted "I felt it! I felt the baby! He's really in there!" Priceless. So, Jenna came over and said she wanted to feel, too. But, of course, all movement ceased. The baby made some little squirms and Jenna said she felt them, but I really don't think she did. I think she just wanted to be like Alex. Poor girly. Her day will come and I look forward to seeing her face light up and say "I felt her!" Yes, we are back to Jenna wanting a little sister. Alex has said only a baby boy will be allowed in the house. Three more months until we find out!

Preschool

2008-03-07T13:06:00.002-06:00

Yay!! Jenna got into Washington Park preschool! She is enrolled in the morning 3-year old class. We are putting her into the 3-year old class because she will also be held back from entering kindergarten until she is 6-years old. She will be going to school Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Jenna is very excited and cannot wait to start!!

Retiring Ballerina

2008-03-05T15:21:00.002-06:00

I'm glad I took these pictures back in February (right before Valentine's Day, which explains the heart on Jenna's check) because my little ballerina has called it quits. I have been struggling with Jenna about going to ballet class for a few weeks now and this morning she decided she has had enough. Could it be because it is the only girly activity she is in? Who knows. Jenna told me this morning "I love Mrs. Grace. I just don't want to go to ballet class anymore." So for now, our dancing days are over. Maybe one day we will head back.

Not an Ordinary Day

2008-03-04T13:36:00.002-06:00

When I woke up this morning, I didn't want to open my eyes. I have known this day would come. I have not looked forward to this day. I have known that I would have to go through the motions of an ordinary day. Six months ago, I made dentist appointments for today, knowing that while I should be busy I would not be. So, after opening my eyes, I began my not so ordinary day in an ordinary way. I fixed breakfast for the kids and myself, watched some morning news, got all of us ready, and left for our dentist appointments. Filling out the paper work, I had to write this date down over and over, each time acting as a reminder of what today should have been. Today should have been the day I had my third baby. Or maybe I would have already had my baby and today I would be holding that precious bundle in my arms. Today, my arms ache for that baby. You see, this baby that is now growing so wonderfully inside of me is not our first attempt at having a third child. We were pregnant once before. And I have kept silent about that baby, only telling the closest of family members and friends. I suffered through morning sickness and fatigue once before, back in the summer. I had made it through Alex and Jenna's birthday without letting on. Joe and I have always waited until after our first doctor's appointment before sharing the news. But this time, I wouldn't make it to that first doctor's appointment. At almost eight weeks, I started to bleed. Days later we would learn that our baby, a baby that Joe had wanted so badly and took over a year to convince me to try for, had no heartbeat. We had lost our little one far, far too early and on July 26, 2007 the pregnancy was over. It was an extremely difficult time for me. I went through so many emotions and at times couldn't understand why I felt such grief for someone I never knew. I will never know if that baby was a boy or girl. I will never know if that baby looked like Alex or like Jenna. I will never hear that baby's laugh or gaze into that baby's eyes. But in every sense I had lost a baby, a child of mine. As a mother, it has been the hardest emotion to deal with. I grieved. I mourned. I wanted to let everyone know that, for me, that child existed. I wanted to acknowledge that that baby was a part of me, and always will be. But it is a difficult topic to talk about. And only those who have gone through such a loss can understand. I am talking about it now because there is no reason to keep it hidden. And because I will never get through another March 4th without thinking about that baby, just like I will never get through another July 26th without feeling sadness for our loss. But what is helping, what is getting me through this day, is the movement - the LIFE - that is inside of me now. This current pregnancy has been different for me. I was filled with fear for the first eight weeks. At my first appointment, while answering tons of questions all I wanted to do was scream at them to let me see my baby's heartbeat. And when the time came, and I did see that tiny heart, I broke down crying - huge sobs of relief. But I have still been filled with anxiety. I know women who have lost their babies in their 5th month. I know women who have lost their babies as late as their 38th and 39th weeks of pregnancy. I know, now, that there are no guarantees. I take nothing for granted. I know that bad things can happen to me. I hope that they will not. I hope that at the end of June my arms will be filled with a beautiful, healthy baby. In the meantime, I will take whatever sickness, ache and/or pain comes my way. And I will know that the baby I lost, the one that made me realize how much I really did want another baby, the one that gave it's life for the life of the baby that grows inside me today, will always live in my heart and will never be forgotten.

The Name Game

2008-02-27T14:31:00.003-06:00

Well, now at 22 weeks, I have decided that I am ready to start thinking about names for the baby. When we were picking out names for Alex and Jenna, a friend of ours had let us borrow a book. Rather than asking for the book back, again, we went out to Barnes and Noble and bought our own baby name book. I tried using the Internet, but nothing compares to sinking into the couch with a pen and paper and looking at all the names we could choose for our baby. So, I have made my first list for boys, which must be compared to Joe's list and then whittled down several times. I won't share any just yet as neither Joe nor I have fallen in love with any of the names. I am now working on my girl's names and although I am already on the "M"'s, the list is very short. Oh, and our decision to name our first two kids was not a conscious one based on our own initials. It just worked out that way, so don't expect an "A" or a "J" name. If it happens, it happens by chance and not on purpose. I'm not sure if Joe has begun his girl's list yet. But all this talk of baby names has sparked the interest of Alex and Jenna. They have arrived at their own lists and I am so very glad that the decision is NOT theirs. Alex's list is for boys only and include Darth Vader, Darth Maul, Darth Sidious, Jayden Core (his favorite character from a Star Wars computer game - I actually really do like Jayden and it is on my list, just not Core for a middle name), Emperor, Mace, and I think Yoda was mentioned also. Do you sense a Star Wars theme here? (Use the force!) Jenna's list was much smaller and in her mind, gender neutral. Her number one choice is Ben 10. Not just Ben, but Ben 10 - her current favorite obsession. Then she said Ariel for a girl or Eric for a boy (Little Mermaid), followed by Chad Vader. Have you seen these mini-movies on the Internet? They are totally inappropriate for my kids, but thanks to Dad on a Mom's night out, Alex and Jenna were introduced to Chad Vader and have fallen in love with them. Joe has told them they are not to repeat anything they hear on a Chad Vader movie - so that should tell you something. Anyway, I think you can see from their choices why I am glad that the kids are not choosing the baby's name. Then again, on Joe's list for boys is his traditional Scottish fave - Hamish. Hmm, will we ever get this baby named?

It's Official

2008-02-20T16:40:00.003-06:00

Alex is now officially registered for kindergarten. The meeting was at the school last night and I wasn't prepared for it at all. I had believed it was an informational meeting, telling parents things they can do to get their child ready for kindergarten, and that the paper work would be handed out, but would be turned in during registration week in August. No. That wasn't the case. Some of the paper work had to be turned in that night. I had no phone numbers with me for doctors or emergency contacts. I hadn't really decided on half-day or full-day. I just wasn't ready for it all. Then, the meeting began and I was thrown by some of the information. The first blow hit me when they said school would begin around the 15th of August. That's the middle of August, not the end of August as I had it in my mind for school beginning. It hit me that I would NOT have a full summer with Alex this year. I would NOT have almost two full months after the baby is born to help Alex adjust to that huge life change before embarking on another. The second blow hit when they said that on the first day of school I am allowed to walk Alex to the door of the building but that they do NOT want parents coming into the building and taking their child to the classroom. I knew that day would come, but not the FIRST day. Pregnancy hormones don't help, as I felt the tears come to my eyes just thinking about Alex beginning the next phase of his life. A phase more and more independent of me. There is no more I can do now. I've already held him back, it's time for this next phase. It's just such a long day. He will be gone from 8:15am when I drop him off to 3:20pm when I pick him up. I just hope that I can prepare myself over the next 6 months for this change. I think a lot of tissue will be needed for that day.

Snow Play

2008-02-13T14:28:00.003-06:00

Yay! I finally have access to some of my pictures again (computer died, long story, sore subject with Joe and his lack of progress in restoring my access to our pictures). ANYWAY, these are some pictures of us playing after our big snowfall in the beginning of February. We got a bit over 12 inches and took full advantage of it! Joe and I rediscovered how much fun it was to get in the snow!! Joe built the fort and I built the snowman. Where were the kids that were supposed to be helping us? Making snow angels, pulling down icicles, and waiting for us to finish so we could have a huge snowball fight. And, just to let you know, that is Joe's coat that I am wearing as my belly has outgrown my own winter coat. I was told, oh just wear one of your husbands coats, not a bad idea if your husband isn't a foot taller than you. Oh well, it got me out in the snow. I went back inside to start lunch before the kids started the snowball fight with Joe. At one point I looked out the window and saw Joe down on the ground with Jenna on top of his chest and Alex pounding snowballs at him. Poor guy. The day ended with the kids demolishing the fort in about 5 minutes. It was so much fun watching them taking running hits at it and then jumping up and down on the blocks of snow. I was supposed to have been cleaning inside that day. But who cares if the house went messy for another day if it meant I could make these memories with my family.

Stomach Flu update

2008-02-13T14:19:00.002-06:00

OK, so I never got hit. I woke up Friday morning knowing that I had gotten a cold instead. Friday went well. No puking from anyone. Joe was back at work. Friday night, out of the blue, after one puke free day, Jenna wakes up at 10:30pm and projectile vomits four rounds - all over her bed, all over herself, all over me. Nasty. Saturday morning Joe is off to prompt care and spends the rest of the morning there. I clean up the previous night's aftermath, still feeling miserable with my cold. But, Jenna was back to normal. She just didn't want to eat and who could blame her. The rest of the family's stomachs are now returning to normal. Alex has caught my cold and is in the miserable stage, while I'm feeling better in that department. However, I have decided that my morning sickness has returned. What is making it worse now is this ever-so-active baby doing gymnastics! Not so much fun when you are feeling queasy and someone is doing somersaults in your stomach!! My only question, is there a way to safely douse your house in bleach?

Stomach Flu, Stomach Flu, How I Hate You!

2008-02-08T14:05:00.000-06:00

The stomach flu has hit the Robeen household. Alex was the first victim and spent last Thursday night vomitting his entire dinner, afternoon snack, and part of his lunch (yep, in that order) up. I waited for Jenna to be struck next. Friday, Alex is better and the rest of us are fine. Saturday and Sunday pass, I am happy to think that it was only Alex. Monday, happiness gone, Alex gets hit AGAIN! This time the poor boy spent most of the day in the bathroom with it coming out the other end. It was the first time he has had this type of flu and he handled it well. By Tuesday he has recovered. Wednesday I wake up to find Joe lying on the bathroom floor. Next victim. He takes the day off of work. I throw up twice that morning, but decide it is pregnancy related (yes, I know. I am almost 20 weeks along!!!) Thursday, 1 AM, Jenna cries out and we don't reach her in time - vomit all over her bed. UGH!! She spends the rest of the day on the couch. Joe is better and heads back to work but I summon him home early because I feel horrible, I have more laundry than humanly possible to wash, especially when there is no laundry detergent, and poor Alex has been ignored all day. This morning, we all woke up feeling pretty good. I still have not officially gotten this stomach flu....yet. I think I have been feeling queasy and ill partly because of the pregnancy and partly because I think I'm going to get the flu, so I'm making myself feel ill. We have all been on the flu diet this week...gatorade, bananas, crackers, jell-o, sprite, chicken noodle soup. Today, I decided I was going to feel fine and eat like a normal person. So far, so good. Of course, because I have decided that I am fine and not sick, I'll probably wake up in the middle of the night with the stomach flu.

Party of Five

2008-01-14T13:42:00.001-06:00

Yes, I am still here. It has been too long since I have last blogged, but I believe my reasons to be good. I have been quite ill since October and finding time to do anything has been very hard. But if there are any "good" illnesses, then mine is the best kind. We are expecting another baby!! I am 16 weeks along, and am still suffering from morning sickness, though not as frequently as in my first trimester. However, I have actually vomited much more in my second trimester. I have been sick since I was about five weeks pregnant. Joe and I would say "OK, only seven more weeks." Then, "OK, only four more weeks." At 12 weeks, and still very sick, we gave up and said it will end when it ends. At 16 weeks, I am really hoping that time is soon! I was sick for five months with Alex, so I know I could go on for about another four weeks. But, like I said, this is the best kind of illness to have and if it means that in June I get a beautiful healthy baby to hold in my arms, then I'll put up with it for as long as I have to. I can feel the baby move, the pro of being a veteran mom. The con, I certainly look pregnant, farther along than I really am and am in full maternity wardrobe. We will NOT find out the sex of the baby. We had too much fun being surprised with the other kids. Plus, with a boy and a girl already, I'm set and have no need to find out ahead of time. I am horrible at predicting what I am having and was wrong with both Alex and Jenna, so I won't even bother with this one. The kid's have been so much fun with this. At first, Alex was extremely angry and made it quite clear that he did "not want another person living in this house." But he has come around and now talks about helping me with bathing the baby. He only wants a brother and has decided his name will be Jedi. Jenna, as much of a tomboy as she is, is very excited and really into the whole baby thing. She talks about the baby all the time and has even mentioned the baby growing in her belly - "my belly hurts because my baby is getting bigger." At first she really wanted a sister, but now will tell anyone that asks that she wants a brother. However, when speaking about the baby Jenna refers to the baby as "she." Jenna has named the baby Snowmanny and calls the baby this all the time. I wish I could make a three year understand time, because I am asked too often "when is it June?" I reply, " we have a long time to go, Jenna." The kids have been real troopers with me being sick. I give them so much credit and in return they keep me laughing. I love their view on all of this. If I throw up, they say it was the baby pushing things up and out of my mouth. We had an interesting discussion with Alex and have ventured into the early beginnings of the "birds and the bees" conversation with him. He asked if he could have a baby when he got older. We told him of course he could, but that he couldn't have one in his belly. He was very disappointed and asked why. We gave the basic gender differences talk and explained why only girls can carry babies. He looked as us and said, "so, you poop the baby out." I stifled my laugh and said, "well, something like that but not really." Conversation ended then. We have emphasized the good things that are happening already because of the baby - like when we made a special trip to Culver's because the baby just had to have ice cream. They both thanked the baby! And then there was the string of trips to Burger King because the only thing the baby wanted for dinner was a whopper. The next 24 weeks will be interesting - I only hope the morning sickness goes away soon!! Next doctor's appointment Jan. 24 for an ultrasound....sorry, not changing my mind about finding out!

For One More Day

2007-12-10T14:44:00.000-06:00

Did you watch this movie on TV last night? I did. I read the book last month. Incredible book. The movie was good, but as usual did not do the book justice. Are movies ever better than the books they are based on? In my opinion, no. Anyway, I wanted to share my favorite part of the book.

..."I also believe that parents, if they love you, will hold you up safely, above swirling waters, and sometimes that means you'll never know what they endured, and you may treat them unkindly, in a way you otherwise wouldn't."

"But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begin."

I love the last sentence the most, both as a mother myself and as a daughter. I truly believe that becoming a parent greatly changes your view of your own parents. From the moment I laid eyes on Alex and felt that incredible rush of unconditional love, I knew that my life was not just my own, anymore, that I would do anything for him. That is when I realized that two other people in this world felt this way about me - my parents. After having Jenna, I realized that there are no favorites, every child is loved and cherished. It made sense to me, to see sadness in their eyes when I was sad; to see the pride and happiness in their faces when I succeeded and was happy. And it is a good feeling to know that my parents are always there for me. So, in the spirit of the movie and book, I say to my mom and dad, thank you for everything you have done for me. You have raised me to be happy and successful in everything I have set out to do in life. I would not change a thing; every moment I have spent on this earth has led me to where I am today, and that is a good place, a place where I want to be. I love you both very much!!

P.S. The van is making a funny sound - is my lemon clause still good? JUST KIDDING!!!

15 days to Christmas

2007-12-10T14:25:00.001-06:00

And I am finally posting these Halloween pictures!! I have to say to my brother, Gary, I am soo sorry it has taken me forever to post these!! You see, I told him a couple of days before Halloween that I would post the one of the kids with R2D2. And, well, I didn't. So, here it is. My brother made this R2D2 out of a pumpkin and then packaged it up and sent it to the kids. They LOVED it! My friend said it should have been submitted into some kind of contest - it looked that good! Now, I am sad to say, it is a rotting waste in our compost pile. I won't take a picture of that; it is a sad site. Nevertheless, Halloween went well. As you can see by the pictures, Jenna stayed true to her pirate self. There were no more battles over her costume. The kids got tons of candy and most was sent to work with Daddy. But I won't go into too many details as Halloween is long over. I just wanted to get this pictures posted before my brother disowned me!!

I hate Halloween

2007-10-25T13:46:00.001-05:00

OK, for the longest time I have LOVED the season of fall - the leaves changing color, the cooler weather, the wonderful fall festivals, pumpkins, and Halloween. Halloween has always been one of our favorite holidays. I don't know why, really, it is just a great holiday. That is, until you have kids. Now, I know that like Christmas, Halloween should only get better once you have kids. After all, you can go trick-or-treating again and you get the chance to really get into costumes again. Ah, the costumes. Today, that is why I hate Halloween. Like my crazy attempts to make my kid's birthday cake, I like to also make their Halloween costumes. So, I always start asking way in advance. Last year Alex wanted to be a Jedi Knight. He saw a costume he liked on-line, so I broke down and bought one. This year, Alex said he wanted to be a Jedi Knight again. No problem, saves me time and money. Jenna said she wanted to be a zebra. Great I thought, it was Alex's old costume from two years ago that my mom and I worked very long on. What an easy Halloween for me!! Yay!! Here comes the bubble burst, two weeks ago, Jenna started to say that she wanted to be a ghost for Halloween so that she could scare people. I didn't mention that a three-year old dressed up as a ghost was only going to be seen as cute and not scary. I kept on her and she was persistent about the ghost. So, Tuesday night Jenna and I set out to the store to buy our ghost making supplies. Wednesday night we started to make the costume - which, to say the least, was HORRIBLE!!! She wouldn't hold still, I cut the hole for her face too big, and everything ended in chaos with lots of yelling and tears and hostility. Jenna ended up saying she didn't want to be a ghost anymore. Feeling like a failure of a mother for fighting with my three-year old and in the process killing her dream of being a ghost, I sent Joe out to the store to buy another sheet. I then stayed up very late trying my best to get this costume done in time for the Halloween party at the library today. (Once again, I owe it all to Joe - as usual, he is the calm in the middle of a storm and worked so patiently with me to get it done. I love you, hon!!) So, I wake up this morning feeling a bit better about myself, feeling a bit more like an acceptable mom, anticipating the beaming smile on Jenna's face when she sees that I have made this great costume - only to descend back into chaos. All I had to do was cut the bottom for an appropriate length. All Jenna had to do was put the costume on and hold still for just a bit while I cut the bottom. But she went right into tantrum mode and the fighting started all over again!! Here I was, yelling at my three-year old about how late I stayed up working on this and couldn't she at least give it a try. Does she really care how late I stayed up? No. Is she going to give it a try if she doesn't like it? No. She's three. So, after her storming off and me gathering myself, we had a heart-to-heart and lots of hugs and kisses. And then we only had 30 minutes to come up with a new costume for story time. (Note: the zebra costume was not an option as part of it was dismantled to become part of the ghost costume, which is now lying in a crumpled pile in the corner of our unused room.) Now, Jenna and Alex have lots of dress up clothes, so we had things to fall back on. Jenna has lots of princess dresses, which look beautiful on the hanger because that is where they always are. But the hopeful mom-of-a-little-girl in me thought, well we just got back from Disney, so maybe, just maybe she will want to dress up as a princess. NO. At first she wanted to be Darth Vader. Jenna, the cape is too long and I don't have time to hem it up. Then, she wanted to be a solider. Jenna, all there is to that is a vest and a helmet, how about something else. Finally, she decided on a pirate. She went all out, donning the sword, eye patch, and hat. And, you know what, she was a great looking pirate. She loved it and, most importantly, she had fun. To be honest, so did I. So, I guess I don't really hate Halloween. Well, not until Saturday when she has to dress up again for a party at our friends. Hmm, wonder if she will be a pirate again, or if our battles over a costume will start all over?

Where Dreams Come True

2007-10-03T15:08:00.001-05:00

We embarked on our first family vacation on September 20th of this year and we went to the most magical place in the country...Disney World!!! It was a wonderful trip, full of very happy memories. If you ask Alex what his favorite part of the trip was, he would say riding the Buzz Lightyear ride at Magic Kingdom. For Jenna, it was all about the Dumbo ride!! Both kids really enjoyed the parades. I loved watching their faces light up with excitement as they yelled "Look, look, there's (fill in the character)!" And I love how Alex sees the beauty in the elements of the parade. "Mom, look. Isn't that butterfly so pretty?" I loved watching Jenna's eyes widen and her smile get bigger as she met Pluto for the first time. The big hug she gave him and then, the absolute pure delight on her face as Pluto held her Dolly for a picture. (One of her wishes was for a princess to hold her Dolly, but she settled for Pluto). Rounding the corner at MGM to find a huge AT AT staring at us was magical as Jenna screamed "ALEX, ALEX, do you see that!! Do you see what is there?" But Alex didn't hear her because he was already running ahead to get a better look!! And my heart was bursting when Alex came face to face with Darth Vader. I saw the hesitation in his eyes, felt it in his body, but it was Darth Vader after all. He walked up, handed his clipboard over for an autograph, and bravely posed for a picture, then high tailed it out of there! It was good to expose them to new things, also, like live shows. In general, I think they liked them and it is something I will continue to do with them. We also really liked all the different dining we did. Alex's favorite restaurant was the Sci-Fi Dine-In (pictured at top). It was certainly different...we sat in a car and watched movie clips of old "B" sci-fi movies made in the 50's. It was unique and entertaining. We did so much on this trip - flew in an airplane for the first time, rode buses, boats, and monorails. We stayed up late, ate too many desserts, bought way to many weapons (2 storm trooper blasters, 2 small Buzz Lightyear blasters, 2 pirate swords, 1 large Buzz Lightyear blaster, and 1 Buzz Lightyear mechanical arm grabber). It was a good first vacation, yes, we had tears, tantrums, meltdowns, but for all the bad, there are very good memories. It is not a vacation we will take again next year, but we will go back. Alex wasn't quite ready for all of it. He is scared to try new things and sat out a lot of the rides. Hopefully, next time he will be more willing to venture out. Jenna, our fearless one, would have gone on everything if she were tall enough. We need to give her a few years to grow and then watch out, an adrenaline junky she will become!! Now, it's time to look over our 900 + pictures, yes, that is correct 900, and pick out the best for our scrapbook. Funny thing is, Joe says we should have taken more pictures!!!! I've got my work cut out for me, but am itching to get it started. I'll post more pictures as I weed through them all!

Finally, a ballerina!!

2007-09-06T15:10:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a big day for Jenna, too. She started her first ballet class. And in all the excitement and craziness of Alex's first day of school, I neglected to snap a picture of Jenna all decked out in her ballet attire - bad, bad mommy!! She looked so cute in her pink leotard and pink tutu; her white capri leggings and her little pink ballet shoes. A picture that is etched in my mind and heart at least. For the most part, Jenna had a good time and participated in class. She did her stretches (nose to toes, butterfly knees, tall ballerina arms) and she did her twirls and leaps and rolls, forwards and backwards. She wasn't feeling too well, and towards the end of class her attention span just went out the door and so did Jenna, literally!! After a bit of coaxing, Jenna came back into the class to get her ballerina stamp. Her teacher, Mrs. Grace, is excellent with the kids and Jenna really likes her. It's going to be a good class!

Back to School

2007-09-06T14:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Alex's first day at his new preschool. Although he doesn't look too happy in the picture taken outside of his school, he had a GREAT time! Alex's job was line leader and he got to lead the kids out to the play ground. He said it was a cool job. He said he played with everything, but forgot to do the art project (so typical of Alex). He said the computer at his school is better than the computer at home (I didn't point out that the one at school doesn't have his Jedi games on it). He said he likes his new school better than his old school (because it has a computer). He ate a granola bar and applesauce for snack. They had juice boxes, a big hit with Alex. By the end of his day, he was a sweaty mess of a boy with a huge smile on his face, wanting to know when his next day of school was. It was a good day.

This year was easier for me, as we have one year of pre-school under our belt. This year I was not up all night worrying about all the things that could go wrong. This year I did not fear that he would hate school. This year I did not worry about him missing me and being miserable. This year I did not cry when I walked out the door. I do confess, I did worry about Alex not knowing any of the kids. At his old school, he had three life-long friends in his class. I was afraid he wouldn't have anyone to play with. I was afraid of him hanging out by himself. But when I pulled up, I saw him running around with a bunch of the boys in his class, laughing and having so much fun. I realized that I view so much of his life through adult eyes, through my eyes. I forget how quickly kids adapt to change and how easy it is for them to make friends. And I am so glad of that and so proud of Alex for making the best of it. In fact, the first thing he asked me was "when do I get to go to school where I go back in the afternoon?" I was thrown off by his question and didn't understand. Then through more conversation with him I realized Alex was asking when he gets to go to school all day like some of his friends. I told him next year, when he is six and goes to big school. He was disappointed and I was jarred by the thought that the days are approaching when he will begin to build his own life, outside of our family. When his friends will take a bigger role in his life. When I won't know what he is doing every minute of every hour of every day. When I take yet another step to letting him go.

Jenna's gifts

2007-08-16T13:55:00.001-05:00

Auntie Mary in Scotland didn't forget Jenna. Here is Jenna modeling her wonderful presents. My aunt knitted Jenna another beautiful cardigan. I cherish every cardigan Mary has knitted for the kids. Every one of them have received numerous compliments, starting with the first ones she knitted for Alex when he was just a baby. They are items of clothing I will hold onto and, hopefully, one day see my grandchildren in - they are that special to me!! And what about this white outfit? It is gorgeous! Joe and I are in love with it and how Jenna just radiates in it!! You have outdone yourself again, Auntie Mary, and we love you for it!! Thank you!!

Scottish Warrior

2007-08-16T13:44:00.001-05:00

Alex received his first traditional Scottish outfit for his birthday from his Great Aunt Mary. When Alex opened his package his first response was that of any typical American male - "It's a skirt." He refused to try it on, but when I told him it was the uniform of a Scottish soldier, he slowly warmed up. When I told him he could pose with a sword, he agreed. He surprised me by really having a great time dressed up. He ran to Jenna and proudly showed her his Scottish clothes. He cracked me up by saying the waist pouch was where the soldiers probably kept their bombs. Regardless, I think Alex looks absolutely handsome and so grown-up. Thanks Auntie Mary in Scotland (as she is referred to by the kids)!!

Latest Stats

2007-08-16T13:29:00.000-05:00

Please forgive my absence from the blogging world, but sometimes life gets in the way. Anyway, the kids had their yearly check-up and they are both wonderfully healthy!! Alex tips the scales at 46lbs and is 44 inches tall. That puts him in the 80th % for weight and 75th% for height, quite the well-rounded boy he is!! Jenna weighs 32lbs and is 37 1/4 inches tall. She is in the 75th% for both height and weight. We were able to avoid shots for Alex this year since he is not entering kindergarten. We will tackle those next year. One of my detailed conversations with the doctor regarded Jenna. What was all that mumble jumble I posted previously about drawing upon veteran motherhood experience regarding potty training? Well, I guess that would work if Jenna was exactly like Alex. But she is not. Really not in anyway. They have always been like night and day. When I was potty training Alex, he pooped like a champ in the potty and caught onto that very quickly. It was his peeing that tripped him up every time and I cannot even begin to count how many accidents in that department he had. So, what kind of curve does Jenna throw me? She pees like a champ. She has no problem getting to the potty in time if she has to pee. When it comes to pooping - well, Jenna has introduced us to the world of stool withholding. She is so terrified of pooping she will not poop in the potty and for a while, refused to poop in a diaper. I had to feed her jello with Metamucil in it to get her to poop. Now, she is finally getting better and no longer holds it. But she absolutely will not poop in the potty. She asks for a diaper, then goes into a room by herself, closes the door and does her business. I am hoping this will pass before we go to Disney, but it looks really bleak. She tells me "When I'm 5, I'll poop in the potty." I do hope it is way before then!!

Big Girl Jenna

2007-07-18T13:49:00.001-05:00

So for about a month now I have been telling Jenna that they just do not make diapers for 3 year olds. Three year olds are supposed to pee and poop in the potty. Turning 3 makes you a big girl and you get to wear big girl underwear. Jenna caught on to this really well and would tell you "I pee and poop in the potty when I 3 in July." Well, that July day came and instead of a fight, she has taken to it with great promise. I wasn't going to push it on her birthday since we were at the water park, but she didn't want to wear a swim diaper, so with that her potty training began!! She did super at the water park - peed in the potty twice. Did great the rest of the day, too. No accidents. The next day, well, it wasn't perfect, but I never thought it would be. She had one major accident and two minor ones (starting peeing but was able to stop herself to get to the potty). Our biggest hurdle was overcome that night, however, when she pooped in the potty. We all clapped and cheered and she had to go and get Daddy and Alex and show them. The pride in her eyes was priceless!! Today, it's going well. One accident but two successes and one long walk dry! I'm glad I waited. I'm glad not to have the battles I had with Alex and all the starts and stops and ok, we will try again in a few weeks. It is the wisdom gained as a seasoned parent and the benefits the second child inherits. And though I was fine with Alex turning 5, it is Jenna growing up, or maybe the combination of both, really, that is tough. As Joe said to them the other night, "What, Alex your riding a bike now and Jenna's peeing in the potty. Don't grow up too fast, now!" Like I have always said, it's just in the blink of an eye.

Riding a Bike

2007-07-18T13:39:00.000-05:00

Joe and I bought Alex his first "big" bike for his birthday and Alex LOVES it! We just wrapped it in the box so that Joe and Alex could assemble the bike together. Right after it was finished, they headed out the door to try it out. Alex fell once, but said he was fine. Today, I took the kids for a walk (yes, even though it is 94* and 100% humidity!). Alex rode like a champ! He, again, fell twice. But after each fall, he just got right back up, jumped back on the bike and took off again. I was so proud of his behaviour because that reaction is so un-Alex. Alex is one to storm off and give up if things don't go his way. I guess he really is growing up. The age of 5 really makes it seem like he truly is a boy now. He is not a baby, not a toddler, not a preschooler, but a kid, a child, a big boy. And you know what, I am OK with that. I thought I would have a hard time with this birthday, but it was wonderful and I truly enjoy watching my baby grow up!

Happy Birthday Alex and Jenna!!

2007-07-18T13:13:00.001-05:00

This past weekend we celebrated Alex's 5th birthday and Jenna's 3rd birthday. We wanted to do something different this year. So instead of just having family over for a BBQ, we went bowling!! I think it was a hit! The kids really like bowling and it is something everyone can have fun doing. The party was on the 14th. We had about 17 family members in attendance and just about everyone bowled. I made special t-shirts for Alex and Jenna for the party and they loved them. I also made a bowling lane cake, and though it did not look anything like the picture I followed, it was still a fun cake. The kid's thought it was the best. And for the first time, I did not get upset about not having the "perfect" cake. Yes, it really did look homemade, it was lopsided and had way too much frosting to hide the cake crumbs. But while I was decorating the cake, I just thought, I am not a professional cake decorator. I did not go to culinary school. I am just a mom showing my kids how much I love them by taking the time out, and most importantly, trying to make something special for them, to show them how very much they mean to me. For me, it's not about spending the most money to get the fanciest thing, it's about showing my love from my heart. This year, with each mistake, rather than bursting into tears, as I have in the past, I just laughed and I had fun with it - that's what it is all about!!

On the kid's actual birthday I took them to the water park for the day. We met up with some friends and had a great day of water fun. Their favorite thing to do, by far, was the kiddie water slides. I think they could have done that all day!! I loved watching them come around the corner and say "Hi Mom!" Alex can come down by himself, but Jenna needs me to catch her at the bottom or else she'll go under. We finished off our water park adventure with a snow cone and then headed home. Once Joe got home from work we headed off to one of the kids favorite restaurants - IHOP - for a funny face pancake dinner. We all had a great time! Once again, it was like Christmas in July and I am still trying to figure out where to put all the new toys they got! Overall, I think this was one of the happiest birthdays yet!

Summer Fun

2007-07-05T14:05:00.000-05:00

Long time no blog!! It's because we have been having too much fun this summer! It is hard to believe that it is July already, and only 11 days until the Alex and Jenna's birthday...Yikes!! Back in January Alex went to a birthday party at the bowling alley and had a blast. He asked if he could have his birthday party at the bowling alley, too. Since it's Alex's 5th birthday, Joe and I were up for something different, something fun. But of course, we had to run this by Jenna. So, on June 22nd we all went bowling and had a great time!! We all bowled on a lane with the bumper guards - Joe and I needed all the help we could get since we haven't bowled in ages. Jenna's verdict..."Let's bowl!" She whipped Alex and I!! My little girly got two strikes in a row and ended with a score of 118. Despite the all-needed assistance of the bumper guards, I still only scored an 88. Alex finished with a score of 77 and Joe beat us all with a final of 129. So, a bowling party it is this year! The kids and I have been doing the "pool" circuit this summer. We have been to our friend's pool twice. We have been to the water park once (where I got sun burned for the first time in years...ow!!) And we have been to another friend's pool club. Each time, the kids had so much fun!! They are really into swimming and Jenna is determined to do everything by herself. So, I got her arm floaties and off she goes, with a big proud smile on her face. Alex is so cute in his goggles, that he must wear at all times, and beams with accomplishment when he puts his head underwater. We are off to yet another friend's pool next week. We have a small pool set up in the backyard that the kids love, but there are no water slides, and that has been their favorite so far! We had a nice quiet 4th of July. The kids and I went to visit my family for a few days before the holiday and made it back home for our town parade. We were asked to be the "Rochester Family" for the parade - ride on a float and throw out candy - but our kids declined because they wanted to get candy rather than give!! It was really nice and it was actually Jenna who had to hold her hands over her ears more than Alex this year. But they were both in agreement when it came to the fireworks...No Thanks!! So, we skipped them this year and just watched the Macy's Fireworks on TV. Even that didn't hold them to long. Hopefully, they will enjoy the fireworks at Disney.

Back Seat Driver

2007-06-15T14:04:00.000-05:00

I have been put in my place, repeatedly, by my two year old back seat driver. Jenna sits on the passenger side, so she has a clear view of me. About a week ago, as I was driving, I hear "Mommy! "One hand driving get you in accident! Use two hands!" With this, she puts up both her hands in the air as if she is holding onto a steering wheel. I replied, humbly, "Oh, OK Jenna. I'm sorry." as I put my other hand on the wheel. Now, every time she sees one of my hands come off the wheel, I am scolded in some way or the other and reminded of how I am going to get in an accident. I don't know where this came from. I have observed, however, that she doesn't seem to mind asking me to get her things while I am driving, therefore, requiring me to take a hand off the wheel to locate said object and then hand said object to her. Hmm, I guess the two-hand rule applies only at certain times!

The Essentials of Alex

2007-06-11T14:18:00.000-05:00

My man Alex. He is predictable. But his predictability changes. For as long as I can remember in Alex's life, he has always had a core group of toys that have been his favorites, that he lugs around with him everywhere. We have a house full of toys, and I really do mean that. Not one room in our house is without toys. But all of these toys could go away as long as he has his favorites. Now, these favorites change and my memory fails me on all the groups. As a new neat toy comes into the house, one of his favorites loses ranks. Currently, this is Alex's essentials:

His animals - Fluffy, Owl, and little penguin
Two library books - Essential Guide to Star Wars and a look and find (we always have one of each checked out at all times)
A mini Atlas book of the U.S. - his map guide to all battles and quests
A bag full of army "dudes" - the little plastic army soldiers
His Star Wars lunch box full of his Star Wars figures (note: this bag has been temporarily taken away because of his mutilation of the figures - I was tired of finding little body parts all over the house. After missing for two weeks, Han Solo has just been reunited with his lower left arm. I told Alex that his toys probably liken him to Sid from Toy Story - the boy who was mean and cruel to his toys. Alex did not like that much. I hope he changes his ways.)

Three objects that float in and out of this list are his WOW card from Daddy, an American Idol play iPOD thing from McDonald's (Alex has never seen an episode of American Idol) and a gun of some sort or the other. And of course, Alex could not live without the computer. Not that he can carry it with him, but it is something he can not live without. The majority of these objects go to bed with him at quiet time during the day and at night time and they all come out with him during the day. And though it can be a pain gathering all of this things up and moving from room to room with them, I find such little boy cuteness to it all - his treasures, his most important special things in his life - how can I not love them, too?

Jenna...today

2007-06-11T14:05:00.000-05:00

Last night as I watched Jenna pretend to be a baby hippo in the tub, then a dog after bath, and finally ending as a cat before we read books, I thought back to Alex at this age. I asked Joe if he remembered Alex getting so into "character" when pretend playing. Did he pretend to be animals to this extent, I asked. Joe couldn't remember either. And it's sad because it was only two years ago!! So, I wanted to capture these memories. I wanted to record Jenna as she is now. At one month shy of turning three, Jenna has a wonderful imagination! She has characters that she latches onto and plays through each one. And while I am thrilled to have a little girl, a girly girl she is not. Jenna's first character that she took to was a little boy in an oh-so-cheesy Casper movie named Chris. In the movie Chris is Casper's "best bud". So, when we play this, Jenna is Chris, I am Casper and Joe is "Chris' dad". After watching Little Mermaid, Jenna didn't want to be Ariel. No, she pretends she is Eric and our cat, C.C., is Eric's dog. When Jenna is Han Solo, I am Princess Leah - a role I have been playing since my own childhood playing Star Wars with my brother. And then, there are the animals. Jenna loves pretending she is Pluto the dog from Mickey Mouse. And her Thomas the Tank Engine tent is her dog house. Our cat, C.C., is one of Jenna's favorite playmates, so she often pretends she is a cat, walking along on all fours and trying to eat her food straight from her plate. She is also a wonderful baby hippo and as her mommy hippo, I have to get her back into her cage (her bed) at night. I love her creative play. I love seeing her world and being invited into it to play. Of course, anyone who really knows Jenna knows that her all time favorite thing to play is her "truckes" also known as Hot Wheel or Match Box cars. She can play endlessly with her truckes. She plays with them on her bed, on our bed, on her train tracks, on her garage, in her doll houses, she is never at a loss with her truckes. And that is just a glimpse of my sweet baby girl today.

It's a Miracle!

2007-05-29T14:01:00.000-05:00

I have waited a few days to post because I thought it may just be too good to be true. But it has been a few days now, so I guess I can announce now....Alex is sleeping in his own bed, in his own room!!! What did you think I was announcing something else? Nah, this news, for us, is some of the best yet!! Joe and I decided to finally put it plain and simple to Alex - his bed is for sleeping in and not a jungle gym for playing on, so if he wasn't going to start sleeping in his room, then we were going to sell his bed set. Along with that, we asked Alex if he thought he was ready to sleep in the top bunk. He said yes. We didn't believe it. I mean, this is a boy who has slept in between Joe and I for a majority of his life. He slept with us from the time he was born until about six months old. Then he was in and out of our bed from 6 months until 22 months old, when we moved him up to his "big boy bed." At that time, I started to sleep with him in his bed until Jenna was born. Then Joe started to sleep with Alex in his bed until at the age of 2 1/2 years, we said enough and brought Alex back into our bed full-time. Now, just shy of his 5th birthday, Alex has gone from securely sleeping between us to sleeping on his own on the top bunk. And...he loves it!! His first night was Friday May 25th. On Sunday we bought him "army dude" bed sheets and now, there is no getting the boy out of his bed!! He spends his quiet time during the day up there and every night sleeping soundly. We have not once had to get up in the middle of the night for him. Jenna, idolizing her brother the way she does, has moved from her bed to Alex's lower bunk. The last couple of nights have been a bit trying on my nerves. Getting them to settle down and get to sleep has been a challenge, but every night it gets a bit easier. Jenna is even napping in there now, while Alex has his quiet time on the top bunk. This is the first day trying this out. I explained to Alex that while he may not need to nap, Jenna does and so he must be very quiet or else he will have to go to another room. So far, not a sound has come out of the room. One very early morning, at about 3 am, Jenna called out for me and asked to sleep with us. And for the first time since she was 6 months old, I carried her from her bed to sleep snugly between Joe and I. We were so happy to finally have the chance to have her sleeping sweetly between us. And Alex, he was fine in his room alone. Joe says he misses Alex at night. Hmm, I said, while I dearly love Alex, I do not miss him hogging the bed at night, constantly pulling my hair, and yelling at us to move over because we are squishing him!! I'll save my cuddling time with him for the day! Let's just hope this lasts!

Last Day of Preschool

2007-05-21T15:30:00.000-05:00

Today was Alex's last day of preschool at Washington Park. Although he still has another year of preschool, we still called it his "graduation" day. As you can see from the picture, Alex got a medal and a certificate. The kids sang a cute song about their love for their families, then they were called up to receive their certificate and pose for a picture and then we had our picnic lunch. It was pretty crazy, but loads of fun! Afterwards, I took the kids to the park and we played much longer than we normally do. On our way home we stopped for some ice-cream to top off Alex's special day. Alex also found a surprise on his booster seat - a Star Wars bag filled with Star Wars goodies! After all, in Alex's own words "Today is my special day. Kind of like a wedding. Like when you had a wedding and married Daddy." I guess in Alex's world, today was pretty big!!

Yucko Mucko

2007-05-16T14:41:00.000-05:00

"Yucko Mucko!!" This is my new favorite saying of the kids. It's not only the sheer cuteness of the words, but the intonation they use when saying it. Jenna applies this saying when she is cleaning her "dirty toes." She is in a zone with her toes and they must be free of every spec of dirt. Call it an obsession. I know it is only a phase. Jenna has also accomplished something last night that Alex has never done before. She fell asleep, on her own, and slept by herself, all night, in Alex's bed. She had an extreme scare three nights ago in her room. At 3am I was awakened to hysterical screams from Jenna because of a flying bug in her room. That night we slept together in Alex's bed because she did not want to stay in her room. The next night she said she wanted to sleep in Alex's bed again. I got her all set up, told her she had to go to sleep by herself, but that when it was time for me to go to bed, I would sleep with her. And that's how it went. Last night, again, she wanted to sleep in Alex's bed. When I started to sing songs, she looked at me and said "Mommy, I big girl. I no need you. I fall asleep my own." I asked her if she wanted to me to sleep with her later and she replied "Nah, I big girl. I do it my own." And with that she surpassed her brother, who, yes, still sleeps with Joe and I. My Mother's Day was great. We went for a nature walk at Lincoln Memorial Gardens and then out for lunch, which included an ice-cream dessert - yum!! We spent a quite afternoon playing in the back yard and then had a small dinner. The kids and Joe had made me my favorite healthy chocolate cake, so we enjoyed that afterwards. My presents were a day late, but they were worth the wait. I received two beautiful necklaces, one from the kids and one from Joe. I love them and love the look on the kids faces even more when they see me wearing their necklace. Alex has two days left of preschool. I cannot believe how fast the time has gone by. I remember so clearly how hard it was to drop him off on that first day. How I cried the minute I left the building. How I could not bring myself to leave the park. How that 2 1/2 hours dragged on. How I kept imagining the worst. But I was greeted by a happy, smiling face. I was greeted by a little boy, beaming, saying that he knew he was going to have fun and he did, and he still does. Alex is excited that school is ending. That he has the summer off. But I have a feeling that after a week or two he will miss it. He will have a little "graduation" ceremony on Monday, and then the whole family will have a picnic lunch at his school. I know it will be a great time.

Clue #3

2007-05-09T14:36:00.000-05:00

There is now no mistaking that I picked the right piece of paper to track. Clue #3 is "She likes to scrapbook." It is such good feeling that I know Alex so well, and he knows me so well, also. I am very excited to see his drawing of me! I wonder if he will try to make it look like me or if it will be one of his "people" drawings - two eyes, nose, mouth, head, body, arms, legs - but no defining characteristics like curly hair, glasses, brown eyes. I'm looking forward to Friday to see his work of art! Alex's school sent home a really cute project today. The theme for today was "I'm a Big Kid." Back in September Alex was weighed, measured, and asked a few questions. On September 13, 2006, Alex weighed 44 lbs and was 42 inches tall. His favorite color was black, he liked to eat apples and he liked to play trains. Today, May 9, 2007, Alex weighs 46 lbs and is 44 inches tall. His favorite color is green, he still likes to eat apples, and he likes to play Star Wars. I love these kinds of projects that his school does. I love seeing how he changes and how is interests change accordingly. Though, I am quite certain we are in a Star Wars rut for awhile. I will miss this pre-school very much. The teachers are wonderful. I'm sure Alex's next pre-school will be just as good, but if it doesn't quite measure up, Jenna will be going back to Washington Park for her pre-school days. Alex's pre-school next year is a co-op, so I will have a job that I hold all year long and will also work in the classroom one to two days a month. It will be nice to see how he is inside a classroom setting and how he interacts with the other kids. This will also be my first glimpse into how my decision to hold Alex back a year will turn out, as he will be one of the oldest, instead of the youngest in his class. I am solid in my decision and know that I will have absolutely no regrets. It is the best decision for Alex and for our family.

Clue #2 and Harry Potter

2007-05-07T14:50:00.000-05:00

OK, so I have not changed my hunch on which Mommy I am. Clue #2 is "I like cuddling with her...I love her." I am a huge cuddle bum and have passed this onto my kids. And since Alex sleeps with us, he gets lots of cuddles at night when I come to bed. So, I'm still sticking with my gut instinct. Clue # 3 on Wednesday - check back. If you have noticed my list of books that I have read this year, you have certainly noticed that I am into Harry Potter at the moment. Yes, several years behind the times, but I am so glad that I finally decided to read them. They are some of the best books I have ever read and highly addictive. The only problem...my timing. I have now finished the sixth book and have to wait 2 1/2 months for the final book to come out. Joe has already pre-ordered it for me and it will be delivered to my door. I'm not sure how Jenna picked up her pronunciation of "Harry Potter", but it is the funniest ever. She has captured a perfect English accent. She has even caused heads to turn at Barnes and Noble when she says it. We find it highly entertaining and she knows it, so she turns it on.

Clue #1

2007-05-04T13:58:00.000-05:00

When I dropped Alex off at preschool today there was a new display on the wall. There was a piece of construction paper for each child with a big question mark on the paper and a list of clues under the question mark. No names were on the paper. It is a game for the moms to guess who they are. Clue number one was listed today. Monday there will be a new clue, with another listed on Wednesday. The clues are given by our kids about us. Finally, our pictures, as drawn by our kids will replace the question mark and we will know which mom is which - all in time for Mother's Day. I have a feeling I already know which one is me. I think I know because the color of the construction paper is green, which is Alex's favorite color, and the first clue is "She likes to go to workout class." I started going to a class, two times a week, about three weeks ago, so it is a big deal around here that our night time routine has been slightly altered. I'll let you know if my hunch is right and continue to share the clues. My friend made me laugh because she said she didn't know which one was her because none of them said "She yells at me" or "She never plays with me." Don't we all feel at some point that this must be the way our kids feel about us?

Ray of Hope

2007-05-03T13:55:00.000-05:00

Last night Jenna gave me a new ray of hope in our battle of wills over potty training. After getting out of the bath, she looked at me and said, "Mommy, I pee on potty." I quickly dried her off, put the little potty seat on the big potty, and sat her down. A few seconds later we both laughed and cheered and celebrated at the sound of pee hitting the water!! When she was done, we did the happy dance and quickly ran to tell Daddy and Alex her good news!! And of course, as she reminded me the whole time, Jenna got her two M&M's for peeing in the potty. It is a move in the right path. This morning she told me she didn't want to wear diapers anymore (I was elated!). We went to the potty again, she sat, but something happened in those few moments. Was the seat too cold? Did I say something wrong? Did I look at her wrong? Who knows, but in those few moments, she looked at me and said, "no, I don't have to go." We then went back to her room to get her dressed. I had the pull-up ready. She looked at it and said, "no, I want diapers" and lay down for me to put one on. Oh well. A small moment of victory for me. It gives me hope that our days of diapers are soon coming to an end. Until then, I will patiently wait for her to make her next move.

Fun Weekend

2007-04-24T13:29:00.000-05:00

The weather, has yet again, been absolutely beautiful!! Joe had the kids outside this past weekend getting the garden ready and even planting some of their crops. Alex and Jenna are so excited to get the garden going. They are adorable, with their little garden tools and gardening gloves, working so seriously. We decided to take a break Saturday night and go out to eat. The kids picked O'Charlie's, with no complaints from Joe and me, kids eat free after all!! After that we headed to the airport to watch for planes, but didn't see any. It was actually just a stalling tactic to allow our food to digest so that we could head to Culver's for some ice-cream. We decided to eat outside and Alex worked his chocolate ice-cream cone like a champ! Not once did we have to do a "clean up" job on the cone - he handled all the drips himself. Jenna also got a chocolate cone. Monkey see, monkey do is all consuming in this house - she must do everything, have everything that Alex has. That is, until she saw my Turtle sundae. After that, her cone was thrust into my hand and she claimed ownership of my sundae. Several times she said to me, while pointing to the cone, "Mommy, that yours now. It's not mine anymore." Oh, the sacrifices of a mother. Joe enjoyed his first, in his recollection, banana split ever. How, I ask, can one go 35 years and not ever have had a banana split? Crazy!!! He, of course, gave us each a bite. The weather was perfect, the sun setting was wonderful, the kids were heavenly. It made Joe and I so excited for our vacation because in that moment, we felt as if we were on vacation. Sunday, it was back to work and I was able to secretly watch Joe teaching Alex how to mow the lawn and then watch Alex push the mower, under Joe's guidance, two paths to finish the yard. The look of achievement on Alex's face was priceless. Being able to watch a father teach his son, being able to watch that bond, far, far, better. It was great weekend!

Sweet Smiles

2007-04-19T13:55:00.000-05:00

I took this pictures a couple of days ago while the kids were playing in the backyard. I love their pure, sweet, innocent smiles. In light of recent events at Virginia Tech, I wonder, yet again, how I will be able to let them go. I am so thankful that I have another year to keep Alex close to me. It is sad to say, though, that these days, you are never safe anywhere. But I have also thought about other things in the aftermath of this tragic event. I have realized the absolute importance of teaching my kids to take responsibility for themselves. Alex gets so angry at the object he has stubbed his toe on, or the toy he has tripped over. He blames the object and not himself. It was the toy's fault, not the fact that he wasn't looking were he was going. Or it was Jenna's fault that she hit him, even though he was bothering her to no end. At first, it was easy for me to blame the object along with him..."what was that book thinking, making you trip like that." But it is now time for me to start teaching Alex that he has a role in this. If he were paying attention, he wouldn't have walked into the wall. If he weren't bothering his sister, she wouldn't have hit him. I hope that my kids will learn that they must be responsible for themselves and understand the consequences of their actions. In the bigger picture, I would like for my kids to live life thinking - "I allowed that person to make me upset, now what can I do to change that." I want them to know that they are in control of their lives, and that no one else is to blame, and on the flip side, to take credit for their actions. Good or bad, they are in the driver's seat, with as much guidance,assistance, and support as they need from Joe and me.

I keep thinking of all the things in life that I will teach my kids. What values I want to pass on, what shortfalls in my own attitude I want them to overcome. And it is daunting. And it is hard. But it is my job. Some days I have all the patience in the world for it - explaining why we don't do that, or why we do do this. Other days, it is so very exhausting being the only rational thinker for three people all day. On those days, when Alex comes up to me and tells me Jenna is a "Meany" because she hit him. And I know she hit him because he was in her face taunting and teasing her, I should say "Jenna, hitting is not allowed in this house and Alex, it is not nice to tease your sister" what I find myself saying is "Well, I would hit you, too if you were bothering me like that!" At preschool that other day I heard a wonderful comeback to a child's complaint. The complaint was "Daddy, so and so just called me stupid." In which the Dad replied, "Well, sweetie, don't prove her right." I laughed and realized that we, as parents, will not be right, will not be perfect 100% of the time. How can we, we are only human after all. We do our best and hope that in the end, we have raised good, decent, respectable kids. That's all we can do.

We're going to Disney World!!

2007-04-12T14:04:00.000-05:00

As of 10am this morning, the Robeen's are officially heading to Florida for some fun in the sun on our first real vacation since having kids!!! Alex and Jenna are so excited!! Jenna keeps saying "This Saturday, we going to Disney to see Mickey Mouse!!" (Everything is this Saturday to her, don't know how that came about.) But, no, we are not going this Saturday. We will be traveling in September and taking advantage of Disney's free dining plan. Now, starts the hard/fun part - planning on where to eat. A must for this family is Toy Story's Pizza Planet. I mean, how could we NOT eat there!! My kid's are Buzz Lightyear nuts!! And I must eat at Tony's Town Square - it's based on Lady and the Tramp, of course!! Luckily for me, I have been getting much needed advice from a friend who is a seasoned vet at Disney in September. In fact, our trips this year are overlapping each other and the kids are looking forward to playing with their friend at Disney!! I am just happy, happy, happy!!! And of course, in the midst of all this Disney planning, CKC (Creating Keepsakes Convention) has snuck up on me!! My friends and I are taking a one-day road trip for some scrapbooking fun and retail therapy this Saturday. I am looking forward to our class "My Big Fat Chunky Book" to learn some new techniques and am hoping to find my 7 Gypsies stamps that I have been eyeing for some time. I know it will be a great time!! It's a good day.

Happy Birthday Daddy!!

2007-04-04T14:32:00.000-05:00

Today is Joe's birthday and I just wanted to wish him a very Happy Birthday!! Like more dads today, Joe is completely hands-on with the kids. I could not ask for a better father, a better, husband, a better friend than I have with Joe. His ability to jump into a never-ending fantasy world with the kids amazes me - from his pirate treasure hunts around the house to his epic-long stories - he captures the kids attention and boosts their imaginations to far reaching ends. I admire, and envy, his relationship with the kids. To Alex, Joe is the greatest person in the world, his buddy, his playmate, his teacher, his Dad. To Jenna, Joe is the tall one, the strong one, and she is learning, the fun one, her Daddy. To me, Joe is everything I could ever want and more.

Happy, happy Birthday, Joe! I love you!!

what I love today

2007-03-29T14:04:00.000-05:00

I love that my kids enthusiastically pick dandelions and present them to me as if they are the most beautiful flowers in the world.

I love that Alex calls Hershey Kisses "hersee kishes".

I love that Jenna calls them "hisses kisses" and says "shoulder" for soldier.

I love that during storytime today at the library I watched my kids take turns rubbing and scratching each others' backs.

I love that I can move my arms again (I started a workout class this week and found out the hard way how out of shape I am!!).

It's the little things that make me smile.

Slowly Letting Go

2007-03-27T13:52:00.000-05:00

We have been taking advantage of the beautiful weather we have been having and enjoyed a wonderful picnic lunch at the park yesterday after preschool. Several of us do this, so there are always friends for the kids to play with. It was hard for me yesterday, though. While keeping a more careful watch on Jenna, I always check on Alex from time to time. At one point I overheard the game he and his friends were playing - 'can you do this'. I then kept a better watch on them, wanting to know what it was they could do. It was a simple game of follow the leader, basically, can you climb this, can you jump like this. Innocent enough. But it wasn't for me, because I know that Alex is not as dare-devilish as he once was. He has grown more cautious and is hesitant to try things he doesn't think he can do. But he was in front of his friends, so he was following along. My heart said go to him and tell him to play something else, it's too dangerous and he will hurt himself. But my head said, no - this is what parenting is about - knowing when to let go, allowing him to make his own decisions and learn from his own mistakes. Plus, I didn't want to embarrass him in front of his friends, yes, at four years old, this is what I thought!! I let it go, watched, stomach lurching at every climb and jump, making a mental note of the quickest way to the hospital. I was doing fine, until they approached what I call the 'rainbow'. It is a rainbow shaped piece of equipment that the kids can climb over or swing under. I have bad memories of such equipment, as I broke my arm at the age of five playing on something similar. I started for Alex to stop him but as I got closer I heard him say, "no, how about we play something else now." It was a small victory for me, reassuring me that I am preparing him well, that he can make good decisions on his own without my help. That, and he constantly is hearing me tell him the story of how I broke my arm when I was about his age!

Alex is almost five. In the blink of an eye he has grown up on me. He probably weighs about 45 lbs and I wonder how much longer will I be able to pick him up? How much longer can I cradle him in my arms? How much longer can I carry him when his feet tire out? At least I know that, although my arms won't always be strong enough to carry him, they will always be able to comfort him. And how can I not want to hug him and love him when he tells me that I'm the prettiest girl he has ever seen (because I wear earrings - I'll lover look his reasoning and just enjoy the compliment)!!

Happy Birthday Heather!

2007-03-22T13:42:00.000-05:00

Today is my sister, Heather's, birthday. And so I want to wish her a very happy birthday!!

Heather, may the force be with you as you start the 24th year of your life. If you should need guidance along the way, I have two Sith Lords (the Dark Side reigns supreme in this house) who can lead you along the way. Watch out for the little one in Cinderella high heels - she is especially tricksy!! But the older one is wise with the Force and powerful in ways you cannot begin to comprehend! They send you very happy birthday wishes and hope you have a great day!!

Posting pictures

2007-03-20T15:01:00.000-05:00

So, today I am trying my hand at posting pictures. Sure, reading my posts are great in and of themselves, but I know the pictures will really be what makes people come back to my blog!! After my post yesterday of me as a mom, I thought it only appropriate to post a picture of my kids. I love them!

So, why the title?

2007-03-19T13:51:00.000-05:00

Last year I had the wonderful opportunity to go to CKU. The track that I signed up for was "She" by Heidi Swapp. In class we created a scrapbook celebrating a "She" in our life. I decided to make the album about myself, a look at me for my kids. We had to create "sheisms" or statements describing that woman. Many of my sheisms were about me as a mom. Joe pointed this out and said that there was more to me than just being a mom. Yes, there is more to me. I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a friend. But right now, at this point in my life, my main role is as a mother to Alex and Jenna. Joe and I have made a sacrifice to our financial life for the betterment of our family life. I chose to quit my job, which was my dream job, the job I worked so hard for, the job I earned two degrees for, to stay home and raise my kids. I have not one regret for doing so. I have no desire to go back to my "dream" job. My life is centered around my kids. My week is planned around their activities. My hobbies drift back to them. I scrapbook with my friends once a month - I scrap about my kids. I go out to dinner once a month with my friends - conversations always lead back to the kids. I don't mind that I'm not up on current events, that in an adult conversation I would sound far less than scholarly. I enjoy playing with my kids, being there when they need me most, watching them grow before my eyes. I know that my role in their lives will not always be as big as it is now. I know that one day I will have more time to focus on my other roles in life. For now, I will savor every moment - the good and the bad - the happy and the trying. For now, I will focus on me...as a mom.

Something new

2007-03-15T14:44:00.000-05:00

So, I am trying something new...a blog. A way to record thoughts, stories, happenings, in my family's life. As a scrapbooker who almost always skips over the journaling, I thought this would be a good way to keep track of those stories, or even to write them. Since we are far from family, this will be a way to share moments they miss. If nothing else, it gives me one more thing to do on the computer during nap time!! Be patient with me as I test the waters of the blogging world!